


Lucid

by BakaDoll, Fornavn



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Abby as a mother figure for Neil, Alternate Universe - Demons, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Childhood Friends, Dreams and Nightmares, Established Relationship, Exorcisms, Familiars, Fluff, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Control, Past Abuse, Religious Conflict, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Reunions, Shapeshifting, Therapy, Violence, Yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-04 01:08:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 58,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20462534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BakaDoll/pseuds/BakaDoll, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fornavn/pseuds/Fornavn
Summary: What if you found the person you love, but then you wake up and realize it was all just a dream? Will you just go on with your life? Andrew tried to, but four years later he’s still lost, unable to forget about that boy with the impossibly blue eyes. And then, one day, he’s confronted with another question: What if dreams are more than they seem to be?Suddenly he’s pulled into a take on reality that he never thought possible and finds himself face to face with the supernatural, the people around him, that he thought he knew, turning out to be more than he expected. And just as things settle down, death knocks on their door, trying to take Andrew’s happiness away yet again.





	1. Sweet dreams and the bitter truth

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe it's posting day!  
It was my first time taking part in sth like this in the AFTG fandom and despite all the nerves writing this monstrosity cost me (lol) it was a lot of fun!  
Thank you so much to [Fornavn](https://fornavn.tumblr.com/) for making all of this fantastic art for Lucid!! Definitely check out their tumblr and give them some love!  
And thanks to [marmelade-sky](https://marmelade-sky.tumblr.com/) for beta reading this for me! <3 (and for listening to all my crying and encouraging me during this process lmao she literally had to sit opposite of me, in croatia, on our holiday, listening to me reading nsfw parts out loud and expecting her to help me find the right phrasing. She's braver than any US marine)

The soft hum of the voices on the TV filled the room. There was a steaming cup of tea on the table in front of him, placed there by the person who was currently holding Andrew’s attention. Sometimes, on days like these, when the sun was shining and everything was calm and quiet, Andrew still couldn’t believe his life had taken such a turn. Ever since that accident ten years ago, things suddenly fell into place. He didn’t even quite remember what had happened, but was it important? When he had everything he ever wanted there was no need for him to remember how he got it. All that mattered was the here and now. And the good memories. The memories of smiles, of kisses, of touches. The memories of a whispered “yes” against his skin, of road trips, of happiness.

Andrew never thought he’d feel genuine happiness, but he left the anger and sadness of his teenage years and early adulthood behind. Nowadays he let himself be softer. 

“Hey, Drew, everything alright?” A kiss was pressed to his head and Andrew blinked his blurry thoughts away before looking up. Neil was standing next to the sofa, looking down on Andrew with his bright blue eyes.

“Yeah. Everything alright,” Andrew said, and Neil smiled, looking relieved.

“You were staring,” he said in a slightly teasing tone, “Is it so fascinating to watch me clean the litter boxes?” Neil said something else after that, but Andrew didn’t hear him. A sudden pain went through his head, like a knife running through his skull, and made him screw his eyes shut with an agonised groan. His ears rang and, even though he knew it wouldn’t help, Andrew threw his hands up and pressed his palms over his ears to try and block out the deafening sound. Lights and colours flickered before his closed eyes, his head started to spin and Andrew couldn’t form a coherent thought.

And then, as suddenly as it came, it was gone.

Slowly Andrew blinked his eyes open again. His vision was still a bit blurry, but he recognised Neil’s form crouched in front of him, felt his fingers digging into his arms, as if he was holding onto Andrew. And maybe he was. Maybe he was trying to hold him in case Andrew would faint. 

  
“...-kay? Andrew, can you hear me? Hey, hey, I’m here. I’m over here. Can you focus on my voice?” Andrew tried to make his eyes focus on Neil. It took him several attempts, but eventually he managed, and slowly his vision started to clear up again. The first thing to come back into clear vision were Neil’s eyes. Those impossibly blue eyes. Sometimes Andrew thought they were glowing.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I’m fine,” Andrew said when he found his voice again. Neil didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t comment. He just loosened his grip on one of Andrew’s arms and placed his hand on his cheek instead.

“It’s getting more frequent, isn’t it?” Neil said quietly. He sounded worried and...sad? 

But he was right. Ever since the accident Andrew had those attacks, and in the past two or three years they started to occur more and more often. In the beginning he only had them once every couple months. Now Andrew was up to at least twice a week.

Sometimes he heard voices through the ringing in his ears, but he could never make out what they were saying. It didn’t matter. It was just his brain playing tricks on him after all.

***

Andrew had another two attacks that week, but every time Neil was by his side to hold him up and talk him back into consciousness. He didn’t let them ruin his days, though. They always just lasted a few seconds, a minute at max, and then everything went back to normal, so Andrew tried to live around them. 

“Hey, Drew?” Neil said one night as they were sitting on the couch in their sweats, watching TV, Neil curled up in Andrew’s arm.

“Mh?” Andrew responded and directed his gaze from the screen to Neil. Neil smiled at him, an unhappy smile that Andrew didn’t like one bit, then put his head down on Andrew’s shoulder.

  
“You know I’ll always love you, no matter what. Right?”

The question took Andrew by surprise. Of course he knew. They had been together for almost a decade now. Andrew couldn’t imagine anyone by his side but Neil. Neil was everything he ever wanted.

But why this question now?

“Yes, of course,” he said slowly, “Why?”

“Just because,” Neil said and shrugged. The kiss that followed made Andrew forget his confusion. Or maybe it was the attack that hit him once again.

***

Andrew opened his eyes to blurry lights. Did he faint this time? He was on his back but didn’t remember lying down. He never fainted before, not from this. His eyes were lazy, his head dizzy as he looked around for Neil. Usually he’d open his eyes to find Neil right in his vision, but this time it was just lights and white. When he tried to speak, Andrew realised how dry his mouth was. His lips stuck together when he opened his mouth. He licked them and felt them dry and ripped under his tongue. Only on the third try did he manage a sound.

“Neil?” His voice sounded strange and foreign to himself. This was not how these attacks usually went. Was it a heart attack this time? A stroke? He wasn’t even 30. Maybe he should’ve stopped smoking after all.

“...-rew?” 

“What?” This wasn’t Neil’s voice. Who was that?

“Andrew, can you hear me?”

A stranger’s face suddenly popped up right in front of Andrew’s face. He blinked two, three times, willing his eyes to work properly. Slowly but surely the face cleared up, but Andrew still didn’t recognise the man.

“Can you hear me?”  
  
“Yes,” Andrew grunted and tried to push the man away. He didn’t even manage to lift his arm.

“Perfect. Andrew, I’m Dr Miller. I will ask you some questions and do some small tests. Is that alright?” Andrew grunted again in response, a bit taken aback at how rude it was for this doctor to call him by his first name, and the doctor did his tests on him. He answered the questions with the bare minimum, but it seemed to be enough.

“You have been unconscious for two days,” Dr Miller said eventually. Two days? No way. Neil must be going insane with worry. 

“During the brawl in your juvenile detention center you have taken quite a beating and have been transferred to our hospital.”

Suddenly it all came back to him. Memories crashed in over him like a wave, washing him away, taking his breath. He felt like he was drowning. He remembered picking a fight with a guy he couldn’t stand during lunch. He remembered him taking a swing at Andrew. Andrew had been able to avoid the first and second, not the third. He got a couple hits in too, people were gathering around them, shouting and roaring profanities and encouragement. Andrew had seen two prison guards running up to them - then he was hit in the head with a tray and everything went black.

According to the doctor his opponent kept hitting and kicking him while he was on the ground, until the guards were able to pull him off. By that time, Andrew was unconscious and bleeding. 

Realisation felt like a heavy stone on his chest.

Neil wasn’t waiting for him.

Neil wasn’t worried.

Neil wasn’t real. It was all a dream.

It had been ages since Andrew felt like crying, but in this very moment, when he felt everything he cared about being ripped from him, every kiss and every whisper turning out to be a lie, he wanted nothing more than to curl up and cry. 

Instead, he threw up. He barely managed to turn his head in time before his stomach emptied itself on the white sheets. Dr Miller was calm as he talked him through it, then asked a nurse to get something to clean up with, as well as some new sheets. He put a hand on Andrew’s shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. The touch made him feel even more sick. 

The sun shone into the room through a big window with white curtains. Andrew saw birds flying in the sky. With empty eyes he stared into the blue nothingness and was reminded of eyes the same colour.

He wished he could be a bird, too.

***

On the first day after he woke up he still had hopes it hadn’t all been a dream, that Neil was real, that the cats were real, that their life together was real. When he woke up the next morning, still in a hospital bed and 15 years old instead of 25, he felt the weight of the truth on his shoulders yet again.

Andrew returned to juvie just a few days later. 

Everything was as he remembered. No one paid him any attention apart from a few shouts and laughs directed his way from people who had seen the fight go down. Usually Andrew would be annoyed by them for laughing at his loss, but he didn’t have it in him to care about their ridicule. This dream still weighed heavy on his heart and he hated it. It was just a dream. He shouldn’t care so much. And he definitely shouldn’t feel a stab in his chest every time he thought of blue eyes and auburn curls. This boy wasn’t real, never had been and never would, and it was childish to feel any kind of sadness about it. 

***

“Let’s talk about dreams.” Bee’s smile was as pleasant as always, sweet and warm like the hot chocolate she had ready when Andrew stepped foot into her office on wednesdays. 

Andrew put his mug down.

“Why?” Neither his voice nor his expression betrayed the way his heart skipped a beat at Bee’s suggestion. This wasn’t a topic he wanted to get into with anyone - not even himself.

“Because sometimes our dreams tell us a lot about what we’re missing in life,” she said as she stirred her chocolate calmly, “I’d like to hear about your dreams.”

“I don’t dream,” Andrew said. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and immediately regretted it when he saw Bee’s eyes snap down to them for a second. It was a defensive posture and Andrew knew Bee knew he was lying.

  
“Everyone dreams, Andrew,” she said, smiling.

“I don’t.”  
  
“Don’t you, or do you not want to talk about your dreams?”

Sometimes Andrew hated Bee. While with anyone else Andrew would have stayed with the lie that he didn’t dream, Bee had something to her that made Andrew want to be honest with her. Bee was the first of his many therapists who managed to gain his trust, and Andrew did not like lying to people of trust. He wanted honesty from them, so he had to give them honesty in return. It was, however, his decision how much honesty he wanted to give them.

“I don’t dream a lot. Most of them are nightmares. The rest is nonsense.” 

Bee gave a short, satisfied nod and took a sip of her hot chocolate.

“Do you think your dreams tell you something about what you’re missing in life? Is there a recurring one, maybe? Or one that stuck to your mind?”

“No. No recurring dreams,” Andrew said, picked up his mug and leaned back in his seat. He pulled his feet up, not caring about the dirt he’d get on Bee’s couch with his shoes, and drank from his chocolate. Bee stayed silent, giving him time, waiting whether he’d add something else while Andrew’s pulse beat harder with each passing second. Andrew hated her. “But there was one dream three years ago…”

***

Four years. That was how long the fight that brought him to the hospital lay in the past, and yet, Andrew still found himself awake at night, staring at his brother’s bunk above his own, not daring to close his eyes and fall asleep in fear of being disappointed yet again. Every night there was still a little glimmer of hope in the back of his head, of seeing blue eyes and auburn curls again, of feeling gentle fingers against his skin. It was ridiculous how much one single dream impacted him. He had read up on dreams over the past years, from psychological facts to superstitious nonsense, hoping to find an explanation to why he still couldn’t shake those feelings off. But all he could find were people talking about falling in love in a dream and feeling the loss of their love for a few hours to days after waking up and then going on with their lives as usual. It had been four years for Andrew now. There was no explanation to this and he refused to tell Bee about the full influence this dream had on him, no matter how much she tried to dig deeper after he told her about the boy from his dreams. It was probably just because his brain was so fucked up, it clung to any kind of emotion Andrew felt and wouldn’t let go of it until it found a substitution. And there would never be any substitution for the love he felt for Neil. For the healing he went through with him in his dream. But that’s all it was, all it ever had been - a dream. 

Andrew turned to his side and buried his face in his pillow hard enough to be unable to breathe. He needed to stop thinking about this dream and everything would get better again.

If only it was that easy.

***

Kevin was a mess. Well, that in itself wasn’t news to anyone, especially not Andrew. Kevin was _ always _ a mess, in most areas of life. At barely twenty he was already an alcoholic, which was the result of a poor attempt at drowning his mental problems. He got nervous and jittery if he was by himself. The worst part to watch though, for Andrew at least, was Kevin walking around life, thinking he was straight, just because he was in a relationship with a girl, when he clearly had the biggest exy-crush on Jeremy Knox. But Andrew wasn’t about to tell him that. He had to find that one out himself. Oh, and Kevin was, for some reason, extremely superstitious. It was weird, since it didn’t fit the rest of his serious, history-obsessed personality. Andrew never asked him about it. However, he had seen the others do so, but neither of them ever got a satisfying answer about the origin of this weird trait of his. 

None of these things had anything to do with Kevin’s current state. The reason behind that was something, or rather someone, else - Riko. Despite Andrew being around Kevin at almost all times, Riko was cocky and self-assured and threatened Kevin whenever he got the chance to. This time though, he reached a new height. Jean Moreau was waiting up for them in the middle of the night at the parking lot in front of the Foxhole Court. Apparently Riko somehow knew about Kevin’s nightly practices and sent Jean, though Andrew wasn’t _ really _ surprised about that. Riko always knew everything concerning Kevin. 

“Kevin,” Jean said, voice cold and lacking any kind of emotion.

“Jean,” Kevin gasped and immediately stopped dead in his tracks. Andrew came to a halt right beside him, glaring at Jean. Jean barely even spared him a glance before making another step towards them and straightening his shoulders. 

There was a heavy silence as Jean just considered them. Andrew felt Kevin getting more and more tense with every passing second. He scanned the parking lot, but Jean seemed to be by himself, no Riko in sight. Of course Riko didn’t show up, it was beneath him to do the dirty work himself, he had people for that. However, that gave him an advantage if things turned physical, though that was unlikely with Jean. Jean wasn’t the type to get physical off court.

“What do you want?” Andrew’s voice was too loud in the empty parking lot, startling Kevin. Jean tilted his head ever so slightly in response.

“I’m just here to deliver an invitation.”

“An invitation,” Andrew echoed.

“Yes. Riko would like to see you, Kevin, to talk about how things are going. He wants to give you one last chance to come back.” Despite Jean addressing Kevin, Andrew was the one to answer again.

“He knows the answer. No need to waste our time for that.” 

Suddenly something in Jean’s eyes changed, his posture turned stiff and he directed his gaze at Andrew properly for the first time since they ran into him.

“This is not your answer to declare. It is Kevin’s choice and Kevin’s consequences. You have no idea what the price for Kevin’s answer will be, so keep out of this.” Then he turned back to Kevin. “You will meet him tomorrow. You know what he will do if you won’t. You know what he is.”

Andrew frowned at the weird phrasing, but blamed it on Jean’s accent, a phrase lost in translation. Or maybe he was hinting at what a giant asshole Riko was. 

He was quiet now, though, and turned to look at Kevin, to give him a chance to turn Jean down himself. He saw Kevin’s jaw working, teeth grinding, and his throat bob when he swallowed a lump. 

“Where?” Kevin asked, fists clenched.

“What?” Andrew snapped, but Kevin ignored him.

“There is a baseball field just outside Palmetto,” Jean said. His voice was back to being emotionless and his stance relaxed as soon as Kevin agreed to meet Riko. Andrew couldn’t believe he actually agreed. “He will be there at 10pm tomorrow. Do not be late.” And with that Jean turned and vanished into the dark parking lot. Kevin and Andrew stood silent until they heard a car door open and close, the engine come to life, and Jean drive off.

Andrew turned his gaze to Kevin. He felt the muscles in his face twitch, itching to break his unimpressed stare and look at Kevin with open disbelief, but he kept his face unmoved, stony.

“You’re a fucking moron.”

Kevin didn’t fight him, didn’t look offended, didn’t glare at him. He just stared at the empty spot where Jean stood minutes ago, eyes empty and shoulders sagging. He looked defeated.

“Maybe I am,” he said eventually. Never before had Andrew heard his voice come so quiet, yet calm. It was like he just gave up all hope and wasn’t even afraid anymore. It was worse than anxious Kevin. At least anxious Kevin still had some fight left in him. This Kevin was like an empty shell.

“We’re not going,” Andrew said.

“No, you’re right. We’re not.” Kevin started to walk to where Andrew had parked his car. Andrew, startled by Kevin’s response, stayed behind for a few seconds until Kevin continued, “_ I _am going.”

“What?” Andrew sprung back into action, following Kevin and catching up with him quickly.

  
“You’re not coming. I’m going by myself.”

“Like hell you will.”

Kevin laughed a humorless laugh at that and wrapped his arms around his body as if he was freezing, despite the warm night.

“I have to do this one by myself. You can’t help me this time, Andrew.”

Kevin didn’t respond to anything Andrew said after that, and stared silently out the window on the ride back to Foxtower. There was something he missed, something that sent Kevin into this mood, but no matter how many times Andrew replayed the encounter in his head he couldn’t pin down a specific moment that would explain it. 

As most nights Andrew lay awake for too long, this time kept up by his attempt at figuring out what exactly happened tonight. He heard Kevin toss and turn in his bed on the other side of the room, not surprised at all since Kevin was a restless sleeper anyway, and even more so when something upsetting had happened. Until suddenly it was completely silent in the room, had been for a while now, and Andrew turned his head to look over at Kevin’s sleeping form, eyes squinting to make out something in the dark. He saw shoulders rise and fall in a slow, even rhythm, Kevin’s head resting on his pillow, not even a finger moving.

Then, a quiet mumble. Andrew couldn’t hear what Kevin said, but he was clearly still sleeping.

“.....so long….” Kevin whispered into his pillow. Then, silence again for a couple minutes. “.......no……….stay away…….”

***

“Kevin, are you okay?” Nicky frowned at Kevin from the other end of the kitchen. The coffee maker gurgled behind him, loudly declaring its age and the fact that it would probably soon die on them and leave them without the liquid wakeup call they all so desperately needed every morning. Kevin, however, didn’t seem to notice any of it. He just stared ahead, his own cup of coffee slowly turning cold on the table in front of him.  
“Kevin? Helloooo?” Nicky waved his arms around, but no response. Kevin was still in a weird mood, but something was different from yesterday, he seemed more thoughtful than defeated now, and Andrew couldn’t completely blame it on their encounter from last night. He didn’t know what else happened, though. 

“Andrew, I think Kevin broke,” Nicky complained as he poured coffee into his rainbow-coloured mug and then pointed it at him accusingly, “Did you do something? Did you break his Exy stick or something?” Andrew just stared at him unimpressed, which soon lead to Nicky leaving the kitchen with an exasperated sigh, muttering to himself about rude roommates. Andrew chose to ignore him.

Throughout the whole day Kevin barely said a word and night time came too fast. At 9pm Andrew opened the dorm door only to find Kevin putting on his shoes. He dropped his shopping bags to take three hurried steps over and grab Kevin by the neck. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Andrew asked angrily. Kevin grunted and tried to fight Andrew off, but his grip just grew firmer until Kevin was squirming in pain.

“Stop it,” he huffed and glared at Andrew with an anger Andrew hadn’t seen on his face in a long time. “I told you, I’m going.”

“You’re not going. It’s stupid.”

“Not going would be even more stupid. I don’t have a choice.”  
  
“Of course you fucking have a choice. It’s not like he can just walk in here and take you.”  
  
“Can’t he?” Kevin spat back, laughed short and humorless, and pushed Andrew’s hand away. He rubbed his neck and ran his thumb across the red spots Andrew’s fingers had left on his skin, “You don’t know what we’re up against, Andrew, and it’s better if you never find out. So I’m going - alone.”

Kevin was an idiot. That wasn’t news to Andrew. But this was a whole new level of stupidity Andrew hadn’t thought him capable of. Maybe he was finally going completely insane - at least what he was saying didn’t make any fucking sense. But either way, if Kevin insisted on going there was no way Andrew would let him go alone. He made a promise.

“Fine,” he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “Go. But you’re not going alone.”

Kevin tried to fight him, but if he didn’t want Andrew to go with him he should’ve thought about that before making him promise to keep Kevin save. He wasn’t about to break that promise just because Kevin felt a rush of misguided bravery.

Fifteen minutes later they were in Andrew’s car, on their way to the baseball field Jean told them to meet Riko at. Kevin was sulking quietly ever since they sat down in the car, but Andrew just ignored his sour mood. He tried again to make Andrew turn around, or at least wait in the car, when they arrived at their destination, but Andrew didn’t listen to any of it. He was coming, whether Kevin liked it or not. 

“What do you think he’s gonna do? Shoot us straight in the head on a baseball field in the middle of fucking nowhere?” Andrew grunted as he threw his car door shut. Kevin glared at him.

“No. That would be too fast and easy.” Andrew just rolled his eyes at Kevin’s dramatics. Still, when Kevin didn’t look, he pressed a hand to his armband, feeling the knife hiding under the fabric, then slipped two fingers under the hem and pulled it out an inch before pushing it back in. If Riko tried anything Andrew wouldn’t hesitate to slit his throat.

“Let’s go,” Andrew said and started to make his way to the entrance of the baseball field. Kevin hesitated, but followed soon after. 

There was a chain on the gate, but it hung unlocked. The lock wasn’t broken, neither was the chain, it had either been picked or Riko got a key somewhere. Neither would surprise Andrew. But that also meant he was waiting and already had an advantage on them. 

Andrew made Kevin stand three steps back when he pulled the chain off and opened the gate, but no surprise attack. He was still careful when they entered and only slowly made his way inside. Everything was dark, shops locked and dead, every step they took too loud to his ears. He could hear Kevin’s elevated breathing, and he was sure if he’d listen closely he could even hear his rushing heartbeat. There was light, though, shining their way to the field, and Andrew followed it. As they stepped outside he had to shield his eyes after they just had gotten used to the darkness, now exposed to bright lights coming from the floodlights above them. They illuminated the field, the grass shining green, dry earth marking the spots and ways for players, and crisp, white lines enclosing the field. And right there, in the middle of it all, stood one lonely figure.

“Riko.” Kevin choked on the whisper of his name and stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted him. Andrew quickly glanced around the area and soon found Jean standing to the side, behind Riko by the edge of the grass, half-swallowed by the shadows lying over the bleachers. But he seemed to be Riko’s only company. At least his only visible one. Andrew suspected more people hidden in the dark. 

“Kevin.” Thanks to the quiet of the night Riko’s voice carried over to them easily. In the corner of his eyes Andrew saw Kevin shiver. They should’ve stayed at the dorm. This would throw Kevin off too much, he’d be an anxious, drunk mess for weeks. And Andrew would be the one responsible to pick up the pieces and put them back together.

“Come here,” Riko demanded and made a gesture with his hand. Kevin immediately did as he was asked. He went past Andrew towards Riko, like a fucking idiot, his face unmoved but eyes wide with fear. Andrew followed behind and stopped when Kevin did, too close to Riko for his liking, not enough space between them to react quickly to a surprise assault. Riko hadn’t even acknowledged Andrew’s presence yet, but Andrew hadn’t expected him to. 

“I’m so glad you came tonight, Kevin,” Riko said, his voice dripping with fake pleasantry. Andrew wanted to smack the self-assured smile off his face, but made himself stay out of this. His presence should be enough of a threat for now.

“I don’t want to waste any more time here than necessary. Everything is prepared for your return to the Nest. All I need from you is a yes and you will be welcomed back into our midst. I am willing to look over all of your childish behaviour and missteps and pretend none of it ever happened. It will be as if you never left.” Riko let the silence settle between them again and stared at Kevin intently. “However, if you still insist on being difficult, I am afraid I will have to take more permanent measures.”

Kevin turned white as a sheet. He clenched his fists and took a deep, shaky breath and Andrew wasn’t sure anymore what his answer would be. If he’d tell Riko he’d go back to the Nest with him, Andrew would have to beat up Riko - and then Kevin, for being a fucking dumbass. It would probably bring him right back to prison, but if that was what it took to keep his promise, Andrew would take it.

“Riko…” Kevin mumbled with a broken voice after seconds of heavy silence. He cleared his throat and his voice came out clearer this time, “Riko… I’m not coming back to the Nest.”

Somewhere behind Riko, in the half-shadow, Jean flinched. Riko didn’t move a muscle, just looked at Kevin blankly. Kevin’s hands shook, and Andrew knew it would take over his whole body as soon as they were back in the car.

“I see. What a shame,” Riko said with no sadness in his voice whatsoever. All that Andrew could hear was coldness. “It’s disappointing that your pride made you so stupid. You could’ve had such a bright future ahead, Kevin.”

“Listen, Riko, you don’t have to--”

“Do not try to tell me what I have and don’t have to do, Kevin,” Riko cut Kevin off with a sharp, angry voice, “Your opinion is not my concern. I gave you a choice, and you have made a decision. Now you will take the consequences.” Kevin stumbled back two steps, into Andrew’s shoulder, but Andrew stood strong and didn’t move away. Suddenly, Riko’s eyes were on him. 

“I’m glad you brought your little lapdog along, so I can get rid of that nuisance, too.” Andrew’s eyebrow rose and as Riko made a step towards them, Andrew pushed Kevin away, behind himself, and reached under his armband for one of his knives, ready to fight Riko. Before he could even draw it though, a voice interrupted them.

“Oh, no, Riko,” it said, “Still a coward, I see.” Everyone turned to the voice that came from behind Kevin and Andrew. Andrew saw Kevin look into the shadows with a panicked expression. And then he saw what Kevin was looking at.

In the shadows, somewhere between the bleachers, two blue dots shone at them. It took Andrew a second until he realised those were eyes, reflecting the light like those of a cat. The rest of the person‘s face was hidden by the shadows. Except cats couldn’t speak last time Andrew checked. They blinked at them, then whoever they belonged to stood - had they been sitting in the bleachers before, watching the whole thing go down? - and slowly made their way down the bleachers, step after step.

“How about we make this fight a bit more equal? I don’t think it’d be fair to just let you kill Kevin. That would be too easy, killing a mortal, now, wouldn’t it?” Everyone was silent - even Riko. Kevin was holding his breath and shaking his head slightly, mouthing something but not speaking the words.

Andrew felt the handle of his knife between his fingers, ran his thumb along the wood. It’d be harder to kill two people, three if Jean would get involved as well, but he’d manage. He kept his eyes on whoever was coming towards them, trying to make something out, but they were hidden well by the shadows. It was difficult to see anything save for those impossible blue eyes.

Finally, they came into the light. And Andrew forgot how to breathe.

“How about you kill me first?” Asked the boy from Andrew’s dreams.

Andrew stumbled back a step, the world around him spinning too fast and his stomach clenching, making him feel sick and cold. This was impossible. Absolutely impossible. He wasn’t real. Or maybe he was. Maybe Andrew had seen him before, somewhere in a crowd, or maybe he was at the same prison, and his brain put his face into Andrew’s dream all those years ago. But Andrew would’ve noticed him if they had been at juvie together, after he came back from the hospital and every night when he closed his eyes he saw blue eyes and auburn curls. He would have noticed that face anywhere. Looking at him he recognised every mole, recognised the way he held himself, the way he clenched his jaw, the icy blue of his eyes, the shape of his mouth. He remembered how those lips felt on his own, on his skin. He wasn’t a stranger. He wasn’t a face Andrew had seen without registering it, that was then placed in his dream by his brain. He knew every inch of this boy. The only thing he didn’t recognise were the scars snaking their way down his one cheek and forming little craters on the other. 

“Nathaniel,” Riko drawled after a seemingly endless period of heavy silence, “I’m surprised you’re showing your face here. On the other hand, you’ve always been too stupid for your own good.”

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Riko,” Dream Boy said. Even his voice was the same, sending a shiver down Andrew’s spine and stealing his breath yet again. 

“I think your father would prefer to kill you himself,” Riko said and tilted his head to the side, “What makes you think I wouldn’t tell him you’re here?”

“Go on. Tell him,” Dream Boy answered, his expression turning into an unhappy grimace, “If you make it out of here alive.”

At that Riko laughed, a delighted and at the same time bloodthirsty grin spreading on his lips, “You’re going to regret coming here.”

“Let’s see about that.” Dream Boy walked past Kevin and Andrew, not sparing them a glance, and stopped right before Riko, “Let’s see how you do in an equal fight.”

“Equal?” Riko asked mockingly, “You’re not my equal, Nathaniel. You’re merely the bastard son of a henchman.”

“And you’re the bastard son of a king who doesn’t want his dirty prince. At least one of us wasn’t thrown away right after being born.”

Andrew heard a sharp gasp from Kevin next to him and a second later Riko’s fist went flying - just to be stopped by Dream Boy’s hand, an inch from his face. He curled his fingers around Riko’s fist in a tight grip and forced it back down. Riko did not look happy.

“Try being less obvious,” Dream Boy whispered before burying his own fist in Riko’s stomach, making Riko double over with a gasp.

  
“What’s happening?!” Andrew’s voice sounded foreign to himself, but he was glad he finally made himself talk again. “Who is that?” His voice shook when he asked this question and Andrew hoped Kevin didn’t notice. He didn’t know if he wanted an answer to this; as long as he didn’t know who that boy was, he could pretend he was the boy from his dreams. 

As long as he didn’t know who that boy was, he could pretend it hadn’t just been a dream. 

He didn’t dare to look at Kevin, instead he kept his eyes on the fight that had started just a few feet away from them. It was fast and brutal, and Andrew found himself surprised that Riko fought like this. He had imagined him to be more helpless when he had to fight his wars himself.

“He’s-....he shouldn’t-,” Kevin stuttered.

“Kevin!” Andrew shouted at him, the same moment Riko hit Dream Boy in the chest with full force.

“Shit! Move!” Kevin yelled and tackled Andrew with his entire body, toppling them both over, Kevin half-lying on top of Andrew in the dirt. A second later, when Andrew opened his eyes again, he saw a body flying past them where they stood just a second ago, and then a loud crash as it hit the bleachers. Wood cracked and fell, and dust blew up into a thick cloud. 

Riko stood 30 feet away, shaking his fist as he watched the dust slowly settle with an unimpressed expression.

What the fuck was going on here.

Dream Boy groaned, lying between broken wood, rolled his head from one shoulder to the other and ruffled his hair to free it from dust. Then he got up as if he didn’t just crash into the bleachers and broke them with the impact of his body.

He rolled his shoulders when he stood and immediately started into a sprint back to Riko, no visible injuries on his body, no limp, nothing. He stumbled on the first few steps, making Andrew think maybe he did get some injuries after all, but once he found his balance he ran without any signs of discomfort. His feet carried him across the field with inhuman speed, faster than even the fastest Strikers Andrew had ever seen on Court, a trail of dust marking his path. After he closed some of the distance between himself and Riko he planted his feet against the gravel and kicked up bits of dirt and dust as he pushed himself off the ground in an enormous leap that seemed far too effortless. Riko followed him with his eyes and dodged Dream Boy’s fist as he rushed down again. His fist hit the ground instead, blowing dirt and grass into the air, and leaving a visible mark in the ground. Riko countered with a kick to his shoulders that sent Dream Boy skitting across the field, his fingers buried in the dry earth like anchors. 

Andrew must be dreaming again. That was the only logical explanation for this. But the pain in his shoulder from when he hit the ground when Kevin tackled him was very much real. Maybe he had hit his head, too?

“I told you not to come,” Kevin said to Andrew’s right, reminding him of his presence. “You weren’t supposed to see this.”

“What the fuck _ is _‘this’?!” Andrew spat back. Kevin seemed to make sense of all of this - he owed Andrew a fucking explanation right the fuck now. Kevin frowned, looked at the fight, the ground and then Andrew.

“Don’t ask questions you don’t want to hear the answer to. It doesn’t matter what I tell you, you wouldn’t believe it and tell me I’m crazy!”

“Kevin, Riko just punched that guy into the bleachers hard enough to break them and he just got up as if nothing happened!” Also, this boy looked exactly like the one from his dreams, but he’d keep that part to himself. “If you don’t give me an explanation right now, I will make you.”

“Fine,” Kevin grunted. He glared at Andrew and stayed silent for another couple seconds. “Not everyone who looks human _ is _ human. Sometimes they’re something entirely different and way more dangerous.”

“What the fuck is that even supposed to _ mean _?” Slowly Andrew felt his patience with Kevin wearing thin. First he didn’t want to tell him anything, now he was talking in fucking riddles like a troll under a bridge. “What else are they supposed to be if they’re not human? They don’t fucking look like plants to me!”

“No,” Kevin said, directing his nervous gaze back to Riko and Dream Boy, “Their kind had a lot of names over the centuries. Nowadays they’re usually called demons.” 

Andrew stared at Kevin, his eyebrows slowly rising almost all the way to his hairline. He didn’t even know what to say to that. He knew Kevin was superstitious, but this was a whole new level.

“.....you need help, Kevin.” Jesus Christ. Demons? Really? 

“I knew you wouldn’t believe it,” Kevin spat angrily, “I said don’t ask if you don’t want to hear the answer!”

Riko and Dream Boy were still fighting; they were both breathing hard at this point, their clothes dirty, their skin scratched and scraped. Dream Boy pulled his arm back, his hand curled into a fist, getting ready for another hit. Riko had no way of dodging this time, since Dream Boy had his other fist curled into his shirt, keeping him in place. Andrew stopped breathing as he watched Dream Boy’s fist flying through the air, anticipating the hit that would land right in Riko’s chest, probably stealing his breath too. But Riko didn’t struggle, didn’t try to get away, didn’t move to direct the hit somewhere else. He just stood, looking into Dream Boys face. And then, with Dream Boy’s fist just an inch from his body, Riko smiled. 

Suddenly Riko was gone, just vanished from the spot he was standing in a second before.

In his stead a flock of ravens with glowing red eyes were screaming and flapping their wings. Dream Boy, unable to stop his punch, fell through them into the dirt and the birds used sharp beaks to attack him the second his body hit the ground. They pecked on his limbs violently, targeting his face that he desperately tried to cover with his arms, and the blood they drew when they broke through his skin seemed to rile them up, their shrill screams growing louder and louder. Whenever he hit one of them with flailing arms, trying to chase them away, two others dove in instead. Being in the midst of an angry cluster of Ravens made it a struggle to get up, and as soon as Dream Boy managed to get up on all fours he fell again because one of the ravens scratched his face with sharp claws, the sheer force of its hit enough to send him tumbling into the dirt again. Andrew felt his entire body tensing up as he watched Dream Boy being attacked and hurt, heard his pained gasps as another Raven injured him. He wanted to go and help him, use his own body as a shield to protect Dream Boy if he had to, but he stayed where he was. This wasn’t Neil. He just looked like him. Somehow he looked exactly like the boy Andrew fell in love with four years ago. 

And somehow Riko had just turned into a flock of ravens. 

Andrew looked at Kevin. Kevin was watching the scene, hands covering his mouth, eyes worried and scared. But not shocked. As if he knew this was a thing that happened.

Andrew looked back to Dream Boy. He hated himself for considering this, but maybe Kevin wasn’t as crazy as Andrew thought him to be.

Dream Boy finally managed to get onto his knees and scrambled up to his feet, hitting the birds away hard enough for some of them to hit the ground. There was blood on his skin, his shirt and jeans ripped in some places from sharp beaks and claws. Dream Boy stumbled a few steps back, trying to escape the ravens, and kept hitting them away with his arms as he looked around for a way to escape. Suddenly his eyes stopped darting around and locked on something in the vicinity of where Kevin and Andrew were, determination settling in his expression. Then he took off running. He ran straight through the ravens, startling the birds and making them scream at him, but he didn’t stop, he just ran like his life depended on it - and it probably did - fast enough so the birds hung back three or four feet. Andrew had no idea what he was running for - there was literally nothing but the bleachers in that direction. 

“What is he doing?” Kevin asked, voice hitching nervously.

“The fuck do I know?” Andrew grunted, almost fell over his own feet in an attempt to get out of Dream Boy’s path as quickly as possible and pulled Kevin with him because he seemed to be frozen to his spot and didn’t move on his own accord, “You’re the demon expert, Kevin.”

Kevin made an annoyed sound and without checking Andrew knew he was glaring at him. He kept his eyes on Dream Boy, mainly because he kept running in their vague direction and Andrew needed to make sure he wouldn’t get Kevin in danger.

But he wasn’t running towards them. Suddenly Dream Boy reached out as he was running and grabbed the pole of a floodlight. He held onto it and skidded around it in a semicircle as he dug his heels into the ground… and then he climbed it. Like a fucking monkey. He climbed like it was no big deal, fast and skilful, the birds on his heels. When he reached the top he pulled himself up onto one of the lights and then looked down at the birds, watching them approach quickly. They shot past him into the air, hovering a few feet above him for a second before plummeting back down. Dream Boy just stood, observing them, planting his feet firmly against the metal underneath and let them come. He swatted them away, swaying a bit as they hit him with full force, but he kept his eyes up. And then he grabbed one of them. The raven shrieked and squirmed, trying to escape from Dream Boy’s grip, but he kept holding onto it. The other birds started to get agitated from one second to another, screaming so loud it was almost deafening all the way down where Andrew and Kevin were. Wings hit Dream Boy's face, feathers sailing through the air in a gentle descent towards the ground. It didn't fit the agitation and violence of the fight, but Andrew couldn't quite rip his gaze away for a couple seconds. A shrill shriek pulled his attention back to Dream Boy and the Ravens though, and he watched them resort to hitting him with the full force of their bodies, making him sway as he tried to balance out the violence of their attacks. He stumbled, trying to get them out of his face without letting go of the raven he caught.

And then he slipped.

Kevin screamed as Dream Boy lost his footing, his body falling backwards off the floodlight. He couldn’t hold onto anything except the raven that was beating its wings furiously. The others followed, picking at Dream Boy’s face and body as he was falling.

“Nathaniel!” Kevin yelled, starting to run, but Andrew quickly grabbed his arm and pulled him back. “Nathaniel!!”

The sound of his body hitting the ground was a gruesome one. A giant cloud of dust exploded around him and the ravens, hiding them from view, and suddenly every sound around them died down. It was so quiet, Andrew could hear Kevin’s panicked breathing. Neither of them dared to say anything, shocked into silence by what just happened. Andrew was still holding onto Kevin’s arm, even though Kevin stopped struggling when Dream Boy hit the ground. 

Slowly the dust settled. The birds were gone and in the dirt lay Dream Boy’s motionless body. Instead of a raven, Riko lay next to him, face down and just as unmoving, Dream Boy’s fingers curled into a slack fist in the back of his shirt.

Andrew heard Kevin’s breath shake before he whispered a hoarse “Nathaniel” and took a step towards them.

Dream Boy’s arm twitched. A second later he groaned, pain in his voice, and coughed. Next to him Riko moved too, turning slowly and with obvious effort onto his back. He wasn’t completely with it yet, his eyes were unfocused and his breath coming in laboured gasps. Dream Boy turned his head to look at him and grunted. Then he turned too, his face pulled into a pained grimace as he moved, but he managed to push himself up on all fours. He swung his leg over Riko, sat down on his hips, then curled his fingers around his throat and squeezed. Andrew saw no doubts in his eyes, just the cold desire to kill. 

Riko wheezed, struggling weakly, but Dream Boy just tightened his fingers around his throat in response. Riko’s eyes had more focus now, but as he was robbed of oxygen his eyelids fluttered, fighting unconsciousness. He raised one arm in a last attempt to fight back, but all he managed was to put his hand on Dream Boy’s face.

“Stop.” Riko’s voice was so weak and hoarse, Andrew almost didn’t catch it.

Dream Boy stopped.

His entire body went rigid. His eyes turned wide. He uncurled his fingers from Riko’s throat and braced himself on the ground instead, each hand on one side of Riko’s head. The way he pulled back, so slow, with shaking hands and gritted teeth, it almost looked like he was fighting his own body. 

“Now,” Riko said, his voice rough but filled with disdain, “How about I make you kill yourself? I think that would be an appropriate punishment for your misbehaviour.”

Dream Boy gasped and opened his mouth, but no words came from him. He stared at Riko with wide eyes.

“Riko, no!” Kevin cried out, panic making his voice shrill and loud. Andrew’s gaze darted towards him and he pulled him closer to his side by the back of his shirt. Why the fuck did Kevin get involved instead of shutting the fuck up?! “Let him go, please. Just let him go! He’s just here because of me. You don’t have to kill him too.”

“Shut up, Kevin,” Riko answered. The rage was gone from his voice, instead it was just cold and threatening, “He disrespected me, so he will pay with his life. But don’t worry, you won’t have to live without him for long.”

Dream Boy began to pant, as if it took great effort to stay like this and his entire body started to shake. 

“Fuck…..you..Riko,” he pressed out between gritted teeth, “You…..wanna play...dirty? Fine.” Riko looked at him, suddenly surprised, or shocked, as if it was completely impossible he was talking back, and his eyes widened as he looked into his face.

“No-”

Both their bodies went limp a second later. Riko’s hand dropped from Dream Boy’s face, and Dream Boy’s body collapsed on top of Riko’s. 

“What the-?!” Andrew choked out in surprise, frowning at the two unconscious bodies on the ground. Dream Boy’s head lay on Riko’s chest, turned towards them so it looked like he was staring at Andrew and Kevin with wide open eyes. Those eyes… It was unsettling. Andrew knew those eyes, but at the same time they were the eyes of a stranger. And now they looked even more different, so empty and dull. Instead of the bright, icy blue they were a cloudy greyish blue, missing the spark that usually gave them so much life. They looked dead.

A very uncomfortable shudder ran down his spine and Andrew turned his head to look at Kevin instead - he was a lot safer to look at.

“Kevin,” he said slowly, “I want an explanation what the _ fuck _ just happened and I want it _ now _or you won’t live to regret it.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Andrew,” Kevin stammered, “I already told you they’re demons.Just because you lived your life in the arrogant belief that humans are the most developed species doesn’t mean it’s true. We’re not at the top of the food chain and we will never be. And if Nathaniel doesn’t win this fight against Riko you will find out I’m right, but it’s going to be the last thing you’ll ever find out.” 

The only thing Andrew had ever seen Kevin get so passionate about before was Exy. Slowly he turned his head, directing his gaze back to the other two. Maybe… If Kevin was right, if those two really were not human, then maybe that also meant that Andrew was not going crazy. Maybe he really had seen this boy in his dream. But why? And how? Why would he dream about a demon boy he had never seen before, and about building up a life with him? Why would he fall in love with a demon in his dream? It just didn’t make any sense. 

“So _ this- _ ” Andrew gestured towards the unmoving bodies on the ground “-is just a thing demons do? Spontaneously pass out? That seems like a fucking _ shit _superpower if you ask me!”

Kevin gave an irritated grunt and frowned at Andrew, as if _ he _ was the idiot here. Well, excuse you, but _ some _people weren’t a fucking walking encyclopedia demonica.

“No. This is Nathaniel’s doing,” Kevin finally explained, “He can rip people’s souls from their bodies and force them into the dream world, they’re basically asleep right now--”

“Wait. Wait, did you say dream world?” The world around Andrew stopped turning. He must’ve misheard.

“Yeah,” Kevin said, “Nathaniel’s kind is called dream wanderer--”

Suddenly a bloodcurdling scream ripped through the air and both Kevin and Andrew startled so hard, they stumbled a couple steps back. Riko wound himself on the ground, holding his head in his hands, screaming as if someone was skinning him alive. Meanwhile Dream Boy scrambled to his feet, swaying on unsteady legs and burying the heels of his hands in his eyes, groaning in pain. 

“Fuck,” he gasped and pressed his hands in firmer for a second before dropping them to his sides and shaking his head. He threw a one second glance at Riko, then turned around.

“Okay. We need to go,” he said, “If Riko comes back from this we’re d-” And then he looked at Andrew, really looked for the first time ever since he walked onto the baseball field, and suddenly his words trailed off, his lips still slightly parted from the aborted sentence, blue eyes fixed on Andrew; and Andrew’s world tilted.

***

Neil gasped. The first thing he noticed was the stabbing pain in his head that always came after this. The next thing was an agonized scream rumbling through the chest his head was resting on, ringing through his ears and dragging him out of the sleepy daze he had been caught in, making him struggle to his feet as quickly as he could manage. The pain was so severe it blurred his vision and Neil pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, groaning, trying to will away the pain enough to be able to _ think _ .  
“Fuck,” he gasped, gritting his teeth, pressing his hands in firmer before dropping them and blinking his eyes until his vision focused again. He needed another moment to be steady on his legs, then he threw Riko a quick glance. He was still squirming and screaming. This was their chance to run. There was no way he’d be able to fight anymore, not after this, so running was their only chance to survive. But he was good at that - running. He had been doing that for a year now. He turned to Kevin. 

“Okay, we need to go. If Riko comes back from this we’re d-” Neil let his gaze wander to Kevin’s companion. Of course he had noticed someone being with Kevin but was way too focused on the task at hand - namely killing Riko - to spare him any thought. But when his eyes landed on him, everything around Neil stopped. Impossible.  
“...we’re...then we’re done,” he stuttered, quickly forced his gaze back on Kevin and was met with questioning eyes. “The fight probably lured in others too. Let’s go.”

Neil pushed past them, his thoughts going at 1000 miles per hour. He didn’t even look back to see whether they were following him or not. He couldn’t believe what he had just seen. It was impossible. Absolutely impossible. After all this time he couldn’t just run into him like this.

Neil threw a glance over his shoulder and saw him staring right back at Neil. It was him. _ Him _. This wasn’t good. This wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. Not like this. Neil felt his hands starting to shake and curled and uncurled his fingers repeatedly as he walked. 

He didn’t have time to think about it now, he needed to get them all out of this alive. That was his priority now. He could deal with this situation later, when they were somewhere save.

His thoughts were so caught up in the task of getting them to safety as fast as possible that he completely missed the quiet rustling in the bushes surrounding the area until they were already halfway across the parking lot. When he did, though, it was too late. Loud cracks of wood breaking were the only warning he got, and Neil just caught a glimpse of the two beasts leaping at him. That second was barely enough for him to instinctively throw himself to the ground, dodging them by a hair's breadth. He went down hard, but didn't waste any time acknowledging the pain going through his body, instead he turned on his back immediately and planted his feet against the ground to push his body across the asphalt, away from whatever it was that attacked him so viciously.

Right in front of him, snarling, saliva dripping onto the pavement, was his worst nightmare: two hyenas snapping their teeth at him, teeth he knew could break through flesh and bones, yipping with murderous excitement. The sounds sent a cold shiver down Neil’s spine and he swallowed hard, raising both hands in surrender. 

“You got me,” he said with a shaky voice, not taking his eyes off the animals, “You won.” He watched as the hyenas changed into something different, their bodies deforming, limbs cracking when bones broke and grew back together in seconds, fur shedding and being replaced with skin and fabric, until their bodies were no longer those of wild animals, but those of two people who looked like humans but clearly weren’t.

“Junior... why so scared?” Lola grinned, “Don’t say you’re not happy to see us? We’ve been looking for you for _ so long _ now.”

Neil’s eyes darted restlessly between Lola and Jackson. He could barely listen to what they were saying because his mind was already trying to find a way past them. It was his only chance. 

“You roughed that little half-breed up pretty bad, huh? Didn’t think you’d have it in you,” she mocked, “I’m sure your Daddy will be glad to hear you’ve manned up since you ran away like a little pansy last year. Maybe he’ll even let you live! Who knows?”

Neil was about to answer, trying to distract Lola and Jackson until he came up with a plan, when suddenly Kevin spoke up.

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immunde spiritus-” His voice was loud and clear, every word pronounced perfectly thanks to endless practice. “-omni satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio.”

Neil turned to Kevin, wide-eyed, panicked. This was an exorcism. Kevin wasn’t even looking at him, just at Lola and Jackson who, the second Kevin started to speak, turned to him but seemed to be frozen in place. Lola gave a pained groan, screwed her eyes shut tightly and used her hands to cover her ears uselessly, while Jackson frantically shook his head from side to side, his fingers curled firmly into his hair.

“Nunquam draco sit mihi dux. Vade retro Satana.” 

Neil gasped as a sudden, sharp pain went through his head. He swayed on his feet as his vision blurred. “Kevin--” He breathed.

“Nunquam suade mihi vana.”

“Kevin..!” Every breath burned Neil’s lungs. He felt his legs shaking.

“Sunt mala quae libas.”

A strangled gasp was the only sound Neil could muster through the pain. His knees were close to giving up, his head hanging low and palms covering his ears. 

“Ipse venena bibas!” Lola and Jackson groaned and both fell to the ground, curling up and writhing in pain.

Neil screamed.

His entire body felt like it was being electrocuted, he barely felt when he hit the ground through the pain he was already in. It took every little bit of strength he had left to keep breathing, to hang on to his consciousness. 

“Fuck!” Kevin’s voice sounded far away and dull. “Fuck, shit! Nathaniel!”

Neil couldn’t tell how long he was left with just his pain before he felt his body being moved and then the ground underneath vanished. His head hit something soft, and then a strangely familiar scent filled his nose. Neil’s eyes fluttered shut, unconsciousness clawing at the edges of his mind, but the way the world was shaking made him blink his eyes open again. He realised it wasn’t the world shaking, but someone running while carrying him. Through the blurriness he recognised a sharp jaw and blond hair. 

Neil moved his lips, but over the ringing in his ears, he couldn’t tell if something actually left his mouth or not.

***

Some part of Andrew still refused to believe this whole demon thing was real. However, that part shrunk further the more weird shit he saw happening. It was almost gone by the time he saw two hyenas, literal, living and breathing hyenas in South Carolina, turn into people.

Honestly, what the fuck?

It was soon clear that they were after Dream Boy and that even he seemed to be struggling to find a solution to this whole fuck-up of a situation. It was almost tragic, really, that it would probably come to an end here after all that had happened tonight. Andrew didn’t fear death, mind you, but he had promises to keep and he wanted to find out who Dream Boy was. 

Suddenly, right next to him, Kevin started speaking. In fucking latin or some shit like that. What on earth was going on? In all honesty though, at this point Andrew was willing to just accept it, there was enough weird shit going on right now anyway. This might as well be a thing.

But then Dream Boy and the other two suddenly turned to Kevin, varying degrees of panic on all of their faces. 

“What are you doing?!” Andrew asked Kevin when they doubled over in pain, but Kevin just kept his latin gibberish going while staring at the two hyena-people. He all but shouted his last sentence, and suddenly they fell. 

And then Dream Boy screamed. 

Kevin’s head snapped to where the scream came from and his face went from confident to shocked.

“Fuck!” He yelled, “Fuck, shit! Nathaniel!” 

They ran to where Dream Boy was squirming on the floor, eyes unfocused, head in his hands and writhing in obvious pain. 

“What did you _ do _, Kevin?!” Andrew asked again.

“I- I recited an exorcism,” Kevin stuttered, shaking Dream Boy. But his eyes were glazed, his gaze unfocused, his entire body limp and not responding to the touch, “But I forgot it would affect Nathaniel too. Shit!”

“An exorcism?! Why the fuck do you know an exorcism?”

“I grew up surrounded by demons, Andrew!” Kevin yelled at him, “Learning exorcisms was the only way to protect myself!”

It did make sense, in a strange way. Just two hours ago Andrew would have declared Kevin batshit insane if he told him he knew exorcisms because he had to protect himself from the people he grew up with - now he could relate to it in a weird kind of way. 

“We don’t have time.” Kevin interrupted Andrew’s thoughts with his hectic words, “We have to get away now, before they recover. It wasn’t a strong exorcism, so it’ll only be a couple minutes until they’ll be back on their feet.”

“The car is right over there,” Andrew said, jerking his chin towards the spot where his car was parked, “Let’s get out of here.”

“Nathaniel can’t walk. I’m not even sure he’s really conscious right now,” Kevin said, growing nervous again as his eyes flicked back to the unmoving body of Dream Boy. Andrew grunted in response, dug for the keys in his jeans’ pocket and threw them at Kevin who barely caught them in time, then pushed his arm under the back of Dream Boy’s knees and the other under his shoulders, picking him up off the floor.

“Just fucking go, Day,” he spat. Kevin immediately turned on his heels and started towards the car. If only he’d always be this quick to follow Andrew’s instructions. 

Dream Boy’s head hit Andrew’s chest as they ran and he threw a quick glance at him. He saw his eyes close and ground his teeth. If he didn’t wake up from unconsciousness again Andrew would kill Kevin for robbing him of the chance to speak to him. He needed to know who he was.

As they arrived at the car and Kevin struggled with the keys in his shaking hands, Andrew looked down at Dream Boy again and was surprised to find his eyes back open. His blue irises were darting around, unfocused, but always returning to Andrew’s face. He parted his lips, needed a few tries before managing a sound.

“Andrew…” He croaked with a weak voice, and the familiarity of hearing his name fall from those lips had Andrew’s heart skip a beat or two.

“Are you coming?!” Kevin asked urgently, and Andrew realised he had managed to unlock the car and already opened the door for them. He was watching them, so Andrew lay Dream Boy down on the backseat quickly, yet as carefully as he managed. He didn’t want to give Kevin any more reason to ask questions before he hadn’t had the chance to ask some himself.

“Let’s go!” Andrew threw a look back, only to see that the other two were already struggling back to their feet. “Shit. In the car, _ now! _”

“We need to go somewhere they won’t find us,” Kevin said helpfully as he threw the door shut. Andrew started the engine, rolling his eyes. 

“Really?” He grunted, “I thought I might just wait for them to make sure they know where we’re going. Maybe hand them a map, too.”

“Just go!” Kevin hissed. Andrew did. In the rearview mirror he saw them shed their human-like form and his stomach twisted into a tight knot as he watched their bodies deform and change into something else. Despite the way Andrew swerved around corners without breaking and just about doubled the speed limit they caught up to them quickly, the two hyenas following the car too close for Andrew’s liking.

They needed to get on a highway. Avoid traffic lights and busy roads. Andrew’s head was trying to work out the best route to take while keeping track of the two _ things _running after them, when a hand suddenly popped up in his view through the mirror, distracting him from his thoughts. Dream Boy was groaning, his hand gripping a headrest. Andrew’s eyes darted between the road and the mirror, trying to keep track of the traffic and what was going on behind him at the same time.

***

Neil vaguely remembered being carried and laid down in the car when he finally came back to consciousness. His body still felt too heavy and every move hurt, but now was not the time to rest. Kevin’s frantic yelling about how they needed to get on a highway told him Lola and Jackson were still hot on their heels and he knew if they didn’t stop them somehow they’d catch up to them. And that was the last thing either of them wanted to happen. So Neil had to act. Quick.

He gathered his strength and pulled himself up by the headrest, needing both hands to even pull his body into a somewhat seated position, and somehow managed to drag himself across the back of the seat. It wasn’t exactly comfortable with the seat digging into his stomach and ribs when his body was aching all over anyway, but at least he could use his hands otherwise this way. 

Neil looked around the trunk of the car. It was mostly empty save for two bags, probably Kevin’s and Andrew’s, a first aid kit and some tools, but that wasn’t what he was looking for.

“Ah,” Neil breathed as he finally found the lever that allowed him to open the trunk from inside. The door flew open and a rush of air hit him in the face, howling in his ears, and through it he heard Andrew curse from the driver’s seat.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” He yelled.

“Just keep driving, Andrew,” Neil replied, “Don’t stop or slow down, or we’re all dead!”

“We’re going through a fucking city!” Andrew hissed, as if Neil wasn’t aware of their surroundings. The buildings, the streetlights, the cars around them honking and hitting their breaks when Andrew’s car rushed past them and they saw the hyenas hunting them. Too many witnesses.

“Well,” Neil said, digging through his coat pockets with one hand and pulling a small bottle from them, “Try finding a highway then.”

“If either of you two _ ever _ tells me to find a highway again I will _ fucking _ kill you myself.”

Neil left that uncommented - he was pretty sure in his current state Andrew would very well be able to kill him if he wanted to. He also knew it was an empty threat. 

“Okay, I need you to slow down when I tell you,” Neil said. Andrew made a confused sound in response and Kevin turned in his seat in shock.

“What?! Slow down? What are you talking about, Nathaniel?”

“Just do it,” Neil grunted and slowly twisted the cap off the bottle, “On the count of three.”

Neil eyed the bottle warily, tried to keep it as still as possible as to not spill any of its contents. Especially not on himself.

“One.”

It was ironic that he, of all people, was carrying a small bottle of holy water around with him, but when one was on the run from one of the most powerful demons in the world, one had to take drastic measures sometimes.

“Two.”

Suddenly Andrew cursed and the car swiveled to the side violently as he avoided running over a pedestrian crossing the street, without slowing the car down. Neil barely managed to hold onto the headrest as his body was thrown from side to side, and then a burning sensation caught his attention as it went through his other hand. Some of the holy water spilled from the bottle and onto his hand, slowly eating into his skin, burning it like acid would on human skin.

“Shit,” Neil cursed through gritted teeth and quickly wiped the water off on his clothes. Today was _ not _his day.

“Are you done over there?” Neil shouted with a little too much heat and looked over his shoulder at Andrew.

“Fuck you, _ Neil _ ,” Andrew yelled back - then his face froze. Neil saw his jaw tense and his hands grip the wheel harder until his knuckles turned white. His own heart suddenly thumped harder in his chest, leaving Neil speechless for a second. For four years Neil himself had been the only one calling him by this name and hearing it from someone else’s mouth, _ Andrew’s _mouth, was throwing him off so much that for a moment he forgot the task at hand.

However, he was reminded by the growl of two very angry hyenas still chasing their car and getting closer by the second. When Neil turned to look back at them Lola was already attempting to jump into the trunk, her sharp teeth suddenly so close Neil jerked back an inch.

“Okay, let’s try this again, slow down on the count of three,” Neil said quickly, “One… Two…”

He curled his hand around the bottle firmer, denting the plastic where his fingers pressed into it.

“Three!”

Andrew kicked the break so hard Neil had to hold onto the seat or he’d go flying right out of the car. Lola and Jackson reacted quickly and jumped, and a second later they were in the trunk. Their sharp teeth were snapping at Neil, trying to bite into his flesh, to take him apart piece by piece. With the little space they had, Jackson and Lola were tangled into each other, almost looking like one two-headed beast and Neil couldn’t avoid scratches of teeth and claws, but he managed to fight them enough to move. The car was still going, leaving Lola and Jackson on unsteady legs and as Andrew ran over a bump in the road with way too much speed they stumbled. Jackson slipped on the edge of the trunk and almost lost his footing, but Lola reacted quick and hooked her leg under his, pulling him back in before he tumbled out onto the street. Neil didn’t waste this chance, now that they were unsteady and distracted, and with one swift movement of his arm emptied the contents of the bottle over their heads.

Lola and Jackson screamed in pain, blisters forming on their skin where fur had already been burned off by the holy water. They shook their heads and bodies furiously, trying to get the water off, but merely some single drops flew off that Neil could feel hitting his face. He wiped them off with his sleeve, then pushed both hyenas hard, sending them tumbling out of the driving car, their bodies hitting the street. 

“GO!” Neil shouted and fell into the backseat.

Andrew kicked the accelerator and the engine howled in protest, but sent them speeding off with a jolt a second later. Neil curled up in the backseat, panting, his hand still burning and his body tired. 

“Fuck,” Kevin whimpered, burying his face in his hands as he let out a shaky breath. No one said a word after that. Neil was relieved to see the scenery change from the city to a highway soon and they only stopped once a few miles in to close the trunk, then went back onto the road right away. Neil had no idea where they were going, but as long as they were going away from Lola and Jackson he was fine. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trusting Kevin and Andrew to get them somewhere safe. 

He didn’t realise he nodded off until he jolted awake when a car door banged shut. Disoriented, Neil looked around, through the windows, and slowly sat up, but he didn’t recognise anything. They were parked in front of a house in the middle of a residential road. Kevin opened the door to Neil’s left. 

“Come on, let’s get inside.”

“Where are we?” Neil asked as they made their way inside. The front door was already unlocked and open for them, but Andrew was nowhere to be seen.

“Columbia,” Kevin said, “Andrew’s cousin owns this house, but he’s in South Carolina with the others.”

The house was somewhat decorated with some dusty, framed pictures on the walls, traces of people once living here left. They went to the kitchen and Kevin filled two glasses with water - Neil saw his hands were still shaking. He felt sorry for putting Kevin through this, they’ve both been through more than enough terrifying moments in their lives, but this was still better than Riko killing him right away, wasn’t it? 

Neither of them knew what to say at first, so they just sat at the kitchen table in silence until Kevin eventually broke through it.

“I told you not to come,” he said quietly.

“I know,” Neil replied. His fingers were curled around the glass that sat in front of him. “But I knew he’d kill you if I didn’t stop him. Do you think I’d let him do that?”

  
“But it almost got you killed too.” 

“Kevin, I ran away from my father, I’m going to die sooner or later anyway. As long as I’m still alive, the least I can do is make sure you’re making it, too.”

A sad smile spread on Kevin’s face and he turned his gaze to the table top. They’ve had conversations like this before, too many to count, and they hurt every time. Both of them knew they were going to die too young, but they’ve always kept each other alive ever since they were children. Neil wasn’t about to stop now. 

“I was surprised to see you in my dream again last night,” Kevin said and looked back up at Neil, “Did you know I spoke to Riko?”  
“No,” Neil shook his head, then shrugged, “It was a coincidence. I didn’t think I’d see you either.”

“A lucky coincidence, I suppose,” Kevin said, but he didn’t sound too sure how lucky it had really been. Neil nodded anyway. 

Kevin’s entire form was slumped in on itself, his shoulders hanging heavy, his head low. Now that the immediate danger was gone and they had had some time to rest, exhaustion took over him. 

“You should go to sleep,” Neil said and got up from his seat, “It’s late and a lot has happened.”

“You need a doctor,” Kevin objected and eyed Neil from head to toe.  
“I’ll be fine until tomorrow,” Neil replied, “It’s not like there’s anyone near who could do it anyway.” Kevin didn’t seem very convinced but silently agreed nevertheless. Neil was thankful, he desperately needed some rest too. _ And _he needed to find Andrew.

  
Neil took Kevin to the living room, where he’d sleep on the couch despite there being two other available bedrooms. But he insisted, since it was his usual spot when they were in Columbia apparently. Neil was too tired to argue. He just helped Kevin get the couch ready, then sat on the armchair nearby, sinking into the plush cushions and watching as Kevin’s eyes fell close in a matter of seconds. He felt his own body giving in to the exhaustion, melting into the chair, begging Neil to sleep, but then he spotted the garden door slightly ajar and a light turned on outside. Then he saw Andrew through the windows, sitting on a wooden bench, his back turned to the living room.


	2. Back To You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil didn't expect to meet Andrew again like this, and even though he dreads this conversation, he owes him an explanation. But will he believe him? And even if he does, will he hate him for the past?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support for the first part of this fic! It grew very dear to me during the months I spent on writing it, so I hope you'll enjoy future updates! ♥️

Andrew was smoking his third cigarette in twenty minutes when the glass door leading to the living room hissed quietly, as it was pushed open. He turned his head to see Dream Boy stepping out onto the porch, looking tired but even more than that, unsure. Andrew averted his gaze. 

Something settled in his stomach, something uneasy and heavy. It was dread. It was fear. Now that the moment had come, the moment where he finally had the opportunity to talk to Dream Boy, to ask him who he was, why he was here, it felt like the most impossible task he was ever given. What if he didn’t know who Andrew was after all? What if it really had just been a dream?

What if it hadn’t?

“Andrew.”

His stomach clenched. This voice. It hurt, hearing his voice, hearing his name sound so natural on his tongue. As if he spoke it a million times already. As if he had said it over and over and over again in Andrew’s dream all those years ago.

“Look at me. Please.”

Andrew flinched, but for some reason the word didn’t sting as much as it usually did. He remembered the boy using it in his dream, remembered healing enough to hear the word please without feeling like he wanted to throw up. A deep breath soothed his shaking hands. He closed his eyes and took another one. Then he looked at Dream Boy.

“How do you know my name?” Andrew asked. 

Dream Boy smiled at him. A sad, rueful smile that stung in Andrew’s chest like a rusty knife. An image flashed in front of his eyes, of that exact same smile being smiled at him in his dream. 

_ “You know I’ll always love you, no matter what. Right?” _ His voice echoed through Andrew’s head, the smile fitting into the memory like a lost puzzle piece.

“You know how,” he whispered, his eyes dropping to his knees, “The same way _ you _ know _ my _name.” Andrew stared at him, his chest tightening, suffocating him, his heart beating fast against his ribs. Everything that happened, everything he said, it came to one single conclusion.

“Neil.”

***

There it was again, his name, in _ his _voice, ripping Neil’s heart to shreds. It reminded him of things that happened, and things he would never have again. Things he wanted so desperately, it physically hurt whenever he thought of them. And then there was Andrew, looking at him like Neil was the most impossible thing he had ever seen. Like he shouldn’t be here. Like Neil’s mere existence hurt him in unimaginable ways. Neil had imagined this so many times in so many different ways, but this was like none of them. This wasn’t the happy reunion he had wished for. This was hurt, this was distance, this was disbelief. But, deep down, Neil had always known, if he found Andrew again - it would end like this. There was no happy ending for Neil.

“How,” Andrew asked. Just one single word, but it carried so much doubt and so many questions that Neil didn’t even know where to start.

“_ How _,” Andrew asked again when Neil stayed silent, “You were just a dream.”

Just a dream.

_ Just a dream. _

Neil took a hard, shaky breath and felt his chest ache. He was just a dream, nothing but an imagination to Andrew. Not real. Not a person. Just a dream.

“I-” Neil stuttered and had to avert his eyes from Andrew. He couldn’t look at him. He didn’t trust himself to make it through this explanation without breaking down if he looked at him. “I’m not...human. But I guess you figured that out already.”

“Kevin mentioned something,” Andrew responded, the sarcasm in his voice like a cut to Neil’s flesh. He clenched his teeth through the pain, folded his hands in his lap. He just had to get through this and give Andrew the explanation he deserved, and then he could run away again like he did from his family. Just get up and walk away and never turn back. Maybe he’d finally be able to forget about Andrew.

“This world we’re in right now, it’s not the only one that exists,” he said slowly, beginning his explanation. “It’s what we call the physical world,'' he held up one hand, palm up, cupping his fingers a bit, to represent the physical world, the world most humans thought to be the only one that existed because it was the one they were the most aware of, “It’s where the physical, human body exists, and where the human soul spends most of its time. And then, among several other parallel realities, there’s the dream world.” Neil added his second hand, holding it next to his first. “It’s a universe that exists in conformity with the physical world, and that is just as _ real _ as the physical world. However, it’s not bound to the same rules of logic and physics, and certainly not laws, as the physical world.” Neil took a deep breath. It was true. Everything that happened in the dream world was just as real as things that happened in the physical world. So, his feelings for Andrew… They had been real. They _ were _ still real. The ache in his chest that never stopped weighing his heart down in the past four years was _ too _ real sometimes. He made himself look up now, at Andrew, and found him silent but listening, his face unreadable. It was unsettling. In the dream world he had been so good at reading Andrew, at knowing what he was thinking and feeling, but here Andrew was harder. 

Actually, no. He wasn’t. He had been just as hard and closed up in the dream world, but he had healed. Here he hadn’t yet. Here, he was still hurting and scared to let people see what he felt, what he needed. Neil felt a stab in his heart at that realisation, grief over the time lost where Andrew hadn’t been able to focus on himself and his healing. Andrew deserved the world to Neil - but the physical world didn’t deserve him.

“Most humans and demons can only enter the dream world when they are sleeping, though. When someone falls asleep, their soul leaves their body and travels into the dream world instead, where it stays until the body wakes up. It happens every night - even if you don’t remember your dreams. Your soul and your mind don’t sleep, and they aren’t bound to your physical body. They wander the dream world and sometimes make up a world the way the mind truly desires - which is what we call a dream. A dream is like its own little bubble in the dream world and other souls can enter it if they want to. If they don’t enter another person’s dream or make up their own, that’s what you usually remember as a dreamless night.”

“However,” Neil said and his gaze dropped back to his knees, but he forced it up again, “There’s a kind of demons called _ dream wanderers _ who can access the dream world at will.” Even though Andrew knew Neil wasn’t human, telling him what he really was still felt like the hardest thing he ever did. It felt like Andrew would hate him for it. “I’m the bastard son of one of those demons, my mother was human, and I inherited some of my father's…abilities. He goes to the dream world to give nightmares, to torture and to kill. I usually just wander it when my physical body sleeps, sometimes I give people dreams when I find their dreamless souls on my way.” Neil spent most of his time in the dream world by himself. Sometimes he made up dreams for himself, to soothe his aching soul and give himself a few hours in a world he enjoyed living, sometimes he just wandered around, looking for souls who wanted to dream but couldn’t and gave them enjoyable dreams. A lot of times those souls were those of people suffering in the physical world, their souls in too much distress to make up a better world. So Neil helped them.

“I can go into someone’s dream, too. Kevin and I used to do that every night when we were children; I’d go to his dream and we’d play and talk and keep each other company. I rarely ever went into other people’s dreams but his.” He still remembered their childhood; Kevin, living with Tetsuji and Riko, suffering through the pain inflicted on him in the Nest and the loss of his mother at the same time. And Neil, trapped in a home with a father who treated him like dirt for being too soft, too human, and a mother who didn’t care. The only solace for their pain was their friendship. They kept each other alive and sane. Without Kevin, Neil - no, Nathaniel - might have given in to his father and followed in his footsteps of torture and cruelty, just to escape the constant threat of pain and humilation. In their shared dreams they could make the world a better place for themselves. Not perfect, but better. Neil remembered one night, when Kevin asked him to make Kayleigh appear in their dreams and Neil had to tell him he couldn’t. There was no way to bring the souls of the dead into the dream world. Kevin had been sad, but his face lit back up when Neil made a giant swarm of butterflies fly over their heads and turn into bubbles. 

When Neil wasn’t with Kevin while they were sleeping, he was by himself. He didn't really go into strangers' dreams.

Until one night he did.

“But then…” He mumbled, nervously kneading his hands in his lap and keeping his eyes on them, “One night, when I went to sleep and woke up in the dream world I found… I found..._ you _ .” Neil’s eyes darted up to Andrew’s. Still unreadable. But something changed. Neil didn’t know what it was. “You had no dream and you were in _ so much pain _. Something must’ve happened to you, and I felt sorry for you. I just wanted to give you a nice dream, so at least you wouldn’t suffer in the dream world too, when you were already clearly suffering in the physical world.” The memory of finding Andrew’s soul, so full of pain, still hurt to this day. Having him here, sitting not even two feet from him, but not able to touch, to hold, to kiss him, was worse.

“A-And… And then I went to your dream with you just- I just wanted to make sure you’d be fine, but…” Neil’s hands started to shake and he tried to hide it by curling his fingers into a fist around the fabric of his jeans. 

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I promise. It just… happened. I don’t know what made me stay in your dream, but I did, and…” Neil stopped. He couldn’t say it. He couldn't. If he said it he couldn’t take it back, couldn’t pretend like it wasn’t real. But was that even a possibility? Andrew already knew things that happened in the dream world were real. And he wanted him to know that Neil didn’t lie to him. That nothing he said, nothing he did, nothing he promised was _ ever _a lie. Andrew needed to know. Deserved to know. So Neil had to say it.

“...and I fell in love.”

Neil felt tears burning behind his eyes and tried to will them away. There was no reason to cry. Other people fell in love and lost their love, and they still got over it and found another one. But was it really that easy? Would Neil ever get the chance to find another love? Probably not. Andrew was the first, and most likely the last. And he didn’t _ want _ to find someone else. But it was fine. Well, it wasn’t, really, but it had to be. It would be. Eventually.

“And I couldn’t make myself leave anymore, I know I should’ve, I do, but I couldn’t. And before I knew it almost ten years passed in the dream world and we had two cats and an apartment and...everything seemed so good-” Neil choked on an aborted sob and threw his hand over his mouth, looked down, silencing himself. He didn’t want to cry, not here, not right now, not right in front of Andrew. He didn’t want him to see how much it _ hurt _not having him, because to Andrew it all had been nothing but a dream. And that was okay. That was the way the human mind worked, and Neil knew about that when he got involved with him. That’s why he was so scared when Andrew started to have these attacks, wakefulness clawing at the edges of his mind, threatening to pull Andrew from their dream and take him away from Neil. And yet, ever since they were ripped apart Neil’s heart ached for Andrew, stupid and fruitless.

“And then you woke up…” He whispered, muffled by his own hand. 

Silence hung between them like a heavy curtain. Neil stared at his knees in an attempt to avoid Andrew’s eyes, but the longer the silence stretched, the more uncomfortable he got not knowing what Andrew was thinking. Eventually he gave up and raised his head, and he was met with the same unreadable gaze as before. And Neil hated it. He hated seeing this lack of emotion on Andrew’s face. 

“So this all really happened,” Andrew said. Neil wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement, but he nodded either way. “Then how come you never turned up in my dreams again?”

There was something about the way Andrew said it, something about the sound of his voice, that made the question sound...hurt? Like an accusation? Neil crossed his arms in front of his chest and dug his fingers into his biceps, his heart pounding against his ribs as if it was trying to escape his chest.  
“I did,” he said, voice shaking, “Or...I tried. But I couldn’t find you. I tried to find you every night for so long, but you were just gone.” He felt the tears well up again as he remembered the pain of having lost Andrew and not being able to find him again, no matter how hard he tried, and the fear this created inside him. The sheer panic, every night, wandering through the dream world but not able to find Andrew’s soul. 

“I thought-- I- Until I saw you today I thought maybe-,” he couldn’t stop them this time, the tears found their way down his cheeks as Neil stumbled over his words as he spoke the unspeakable, the possibility that had been breaking his heart for four years now, “I thought… maybe you died.” Saying it out loud, even though Andrew was sitting right here, ripped a sob from Neil that shook his entire form. He curled his arms around his body more firmly, holding himself in an attempt to soothe his aching heart and his racing mind. He closed his eyes, dropping his head to hide the tears. Little hiccups shook Neil’s shoulders and his fingertips dug into his arms hard enough to hurt, but the pain gave him something to focus on.

His focus was ripped from the dull pain in his arms to a gentle touch on his cheek. His eyes snapped up and there was Andrew, suddenly closer than before, thumb brushing along his cheekbone, just under the unevenly healed scars, wiping away a tear. The touch was such a shock Neil forgot how to breathe and he moved his lips in an unsuccessful attempt to say something. Andrew’s eyes lay on him with an intensity that would be unsettling to anyone else, but to Neil it was all he had wished for in so long. 

“Yes or no?” Andrew asked. Words failed him still, just an incoherent stutter leaving his lips, even though the answer was so clear to him.

“Yes,” Neil finally managed, quiet and raw but loud enough for Andrew to hear in the silence of the night. 

And then, the world stopped. The weight of Andrew’s lips felt so shockingly familiar, Neil took in a sharp, surprised breath through his nose before his eyes fell shut and his entire body melted into this single touch.

For a while it was just this, both of them almost frozen in the moment, lips touching, breathing each other in, their bodies apart and the only contact their lips and Andrew’s hand on Neil’s cheek. Then Neil felt a sudden surge of desperation rising in his body, from his stomach to his chest to his head, making the distance between them feel unbearable and his body kick back into action. His grip loosened from his own arms and his hands flew up to Andrew’s shoulders instead, digging his fingers into the cotton of his shirt, but it wasn’t enough, not enough, not enough. They dragged along Andrew’s shoulders, curled around his nape, holding on tight, pulling him in, and Andrew let him, let him, let him, gave in to Neil’s hands, their kiss now open-mouthed and desperate, Andrew almost towering over Neil, his hand no longer on his cheek but buried in his curls now. Neil wrapped his arms around Andrew’s neck, pulling them so close their chests touched, and then there was another hand on Neil’s body, curling around his waist and palm pressing into the small of Neil’s back, holding him close, so close there was almost no space left between them. 

Andrew was alive. He was here. And he was kissing him. Holding him like this was where Neil belonged. Four years and yet Andrew kissed him with the same certainty as in their dream. 

Another sob ripped through Neil, and Andrew tightened his arm around his waist. 

“I thought you were dead,” Neil whispered into the kiss before catching Andrew’s lips again.

“And I thought you were just my brain playing tricks on me,” Andrew responded, voice low and raw, and brushed his lips along Neil’s. 

  
“I’m sorry,” Neil whispered, “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. But you would’ve woken up the second you realised you’re dreaming. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Shut up,” Andrew grunted and tried to catch Neil's lips in another kiss, but Neil pulled back - even though everything in him screamed not to - but there was something he needed to say, and he needed to say it now. 

“You know I meant it,” Neil said quietly, “When I said I'd always love you, no matter what. I meant it. I still mean it.” 

Andrew paused at that and looked at Neil quietly. He felt his breath on his face, calm and even rushes of air across his skin, and Neil thought Andrew might hear his heartbeat through the silence. 

“I love you, Andrew,” he said, “And there wasn’t a day in the past four years where I haven’t.”

***

Neil. Neil. It was Neil. This was the boy from his dreams, the boy he loved for four years, the boy he thought he just imagined. But he was here, he was breathing, he was _ real _. So many things were running through his head at once, it was hard listening to his explanation, but he had to. He had to know how this all happened, who Neil was. Of course he still had his doubts. How shouldn’t he, just a few hours ago he didn’t even know demons existed and now suddenly he sat next to the boy he met in his dreams, telling him about demons and different realities and giving people dreams. 

It made sense, though. Somehow. Kevin’s behaviour suddenly made sense too, and the fact that Neil was here because of him, knowing they had been childhood friends. 

The night Neil found Andrew must have been the night of the prison fight, where one of his fellow inmates knocked him out cold. Of course he had been in pain - they had to get him to the hospital for his injuries and he didn’t wake up for two full days after all. But he didn’t remember any of that pain. The only thing he remembered was that dream. So apparently it worked, didn’t it? Giving Andrew a dream so he wouldn’t suffer in this other world. He wondered what would’ve happened if Neil hadn’t stumbled across him on that night. Would he remember all that pain? Would he eventually have been able to dream without help? 

Andrew’s thoughts were diverted when he noticed Neil’s shaking hands, but the second his eyes fell on them Neil curled his fingers into his jeans to make himself stop. He wanted to untangle his fingers from the fabric and make them stop shaking himself, wanted to slip his fingers between Neil’s and hold them until they’d stay still again.

“...and I fell in love.”

Immediately Andrew’s eyes snapped up to Neil’s face again and caught sight of his wet, glistening eyes before he started to blink the tears away. He didn’t want Andrew to see, but he did. He did. He saw the pain and the effort it took to hide it, and it made his chest tighten. 

And then… Then he said something that washed every last bit of doubt Andrew had away. The cats. Andrew had never told anyone about the cats. He never really told anyone about his dream to begin with, save for Bee, but even to her he never mentioned the cats. The only way Neil could possibly know about them was if everything he said was true. If he really was in that dream of Andrew’s. 

“...everything seemed so good-” Neil said, but before he could finish his sentence a sob ripped through him that was so sudden and violent, Andrew felt it in his own chest. Seeing Neil like this, so broken and hurting, was one of the worst sights of his life. It was even worse to see how Neil tried to hide it from him. Andrew wanted to make it stop, wanted to take the pain away but...he couldn’t. Something inside him was still holding him back, the tiny voice of fear in the back of his head he knew too well these days, telling him he shouldn’t let anyone in, shouldn’t let people get too close, not even those people he loved and trusted. Even when Neil looked up at him, looking for something, anything, any sort of answer or reaction Andrew would give him, Andrew just kept looking at him, waiting for him to keep going with his explanation - and he hated himself for it.

But Neil didn’t go on, so they were left in a heavy, uncomfortable silence. Eventually, Andrew decided to break it after all. It was just too much to sit here like this.

“So this all really happened,” Andrew said. He said it more to himself than to Neil, hoping it would all seem more real if he heard himself say it, that he’d realise it was a dream indeed but that that didn’t make it any less real. But there was still something that bothered him, something that gave Andrew reason to doubt Neil, to doubt his honesty even though he just wanted to believe him. He wanted it all to be true and for Neil to not have lied to him, because if Neil was real but the thing they had, this _ life _they had was just a lie - Andrew might not survive that.

“Then how come you never turned up in my dreams again?”

“I did. Or...I tried. But I couldn’t find you. I tried to find you every night for so long, but you were just gone,” Neil said hurriedly, “I thought-- I- Until I saw you today I thought maybe-” And suddenly he was crying, really crying, tears rolling down his cheeks, lips working around words that seemed too hard to say for Neil. Andrew took a deep breath and curled one of his hands into a fist to keep himself from reaching out. Not yet. No matter how hard it was, not yet. 

“I thought… maybe you died.”

And then he broke down. He sobbed and sunk down into himself, curling his arms around his shaking body and not looking at Andrew anymore, as if looking at him was too hard to do. And Andrew couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t watch Neil like this and just leave him be, so he uncurled his fist, leaned in and reached out. 

The first touch was like an electric shock going from his fingertips through his arm and his entire body. Neil’s skin was soft and warm under his touch and Andrew realised what a surprise this sensation was, to not only see and hear, but _ feel _that Neil was alive and real. When Neil looked up at him with those impossible blue eyes, tear-wet and wide, all his doubts suddenly seemed unreasonable. He wiped away a tear with his thumb, brushing along his cheekbone just beneath the two crater-like scars that looked like someone burned Neil’s face, and he felt the desire in him to take apart whoever did this to him.

“Yes or no?” Andrew asked. Neil fought with his voice, but eventually responded with a hoarse _ yes _.

Andrew leaned in and the second his lips touched Neil’s, he felt the weight of four years of doubts and longing falling off his shoulders. Somehow, kissing Neil felt like the most natural thing to him, like this was how it was meant to be. Like they hadn’t been separated for years. 

Andrew stopped for a moment and took the feeling in, Neil’s lips on his, their breath mingling between them, his hand on Neil’s cheek, and something warm and comfortable slowly spread in his chest, a feeling so foreign yet so familiar. 

It felt like coming home.

Neil’s hands were on his shoulders a moment later, clinging to his shirt, digging into his muscles, and the touch set them both back into action. Quickly their kiss turned from a shy brush of lips into something desperate and heated, biting lips and bumping noses and pulling each other in closer and closer, Neil’s hands wandering until his arms were curled tightly around Andrew’s neck and Andrew’s hand was pressing into the small of his back, their bodies so close it was hard to breathe. It was desperation. It was longing. It was perfect. Wherever Neil’s body touched Andrew’s and he felt his warmth seep through their clothes into Andrew’s skin, Andrew had a memory of Neil touching him there, sometimes gentle and loving, sometimes hard and passionate, but never rough, never malicious. He remembered Neil putting his head on Andrew’s chest and listening to his breathing, he remembered Neil’s fingers digging into Andrew’s shoulders as he was moaning his name over and over like a prayer, he remembered Neil’s hand in the nape of his neck to calm him down. He felt at ease with Neil so close.

Neil’s entire body shook in Andrew’s arms as another sob went through him, and as if in reflex, Andrew curled his arm around him tighter. 

“I thought you were dead,” Neil mumbled against his lips with a shaky voice.

“And I thought you were just my brain playing tricks on me,” Andrew responded. It was a bit of honesty, a bit of openness and emotion and _ feeling _ that Andrew would grant no one else but Neil.

“I’m sorry,” Neil whispered, and he really sounded like he was sorry, “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. But you would’ve woken up the second you realised you’re dreaming. I didn’t want to lose you.” 

_ I didn’t want to lose you. _ Andrew couldn’t remember anyone ever saying these words to him before, especially not with such honesty and desperation in them, and they had him feeling a sudden shock of warmth in his chest he couldn’t quite handle. So his response was a grunted _ shut up _ and another kiss - except Neil pulled back.

“You know I meant it,” Neil said quietly, his eyes on Andrew’s, the blue of his irises like a glowing, calm ocean, “When I said I’d always love you, no matter what. I meant it. I still mean it.”

Andrew’s heart stopped, then jumped back into action twice as fast. It was hammering against his ribcage as if it was trying to escape. Despite everything that happened, despite the kisses and the touches and the tears, despite it all, Andrew didn’t think it was possible. He didn’t want to allow himself to dream just for it to be crushed by reality. But now, after these words, he couldn’t help the little spark of hope slowly burning up his chest, no matter how hard he tried to extinguish it.

“I love you, Andrew,” Neil said, and Andrew felt the fire inside him growing like those words were gasoline thrown into it until it swallowed and burned every last bit of doubt, “And there wasn’t a day in the past four years where I haven’t.”

Andrew felt himself choking on all of those emotions he had tried so hard not to feel in the past, but with Neil not feeling wasn’t a possibility. With Neil he was burning, burning, burning but the flames didn’t hurt, they warmed his cold heart and made his walls crumble and fall apart. All those years had passed and yet Andrew didn’t have to think about his answer for a second.

“I love you, too,” he whispered against Neil’s lips and let his forehead fall against his, “I thought I was going crazy for being in love with a boy I imagined. But apparently I’m just crazy for being in love with a demon.” Neil chuckled quietly and curled his arms around Andrew’s neck a bit firmer.

“Half-demon,” he said.

“Shut the fuck up, Neil,” Andrew responded and earned a short but proper, happy laugh this time before Neil pulled him into another kiss.

***

Neil didn’t really know how he ended up here, everything was a bit of a blur - his conversation with Andrew, their kisses, the only thing that was clear as day in his mind was Andrew telling him he loved him. The kisses afterwards had been different, not as desperate anymore, just filled with want and longing, growing heated, and now instead of the armrest of the bench they had been sitting on pressing into his ribs and his back, Neil was lying in comfortable sheets, his head rested on a soft pillow - and Andrew on top of him, bracing himself on his arms on either side of Neil’s head, their lips sealed in a slow kiss that stole Neil’s breath. Andrew’s hand was on him an eternity later, careful, gentle, just a palm on Neil’s hip, waiting whether Neil would object, but nothing was further from his intentions than saying no to Andrew’s touches. Nimble fingers found their way under the hem of his shirt, stroking up his torso, giving Neil goosebumps along the way. It felt like Andrew was exploring his body, re-learning all his curves and edges, fingers brushing along scars and bumps he never knew because they weren’t there four years ago. He broke their kiss and pressed his lips to Neil’s jaw instead, and Neil’s eyes fluttered shut immediately. He craned his neck to give Andrew more space and unspoken permission to explore. And then Andrew sucked the skin on Neil’s neck, just beneath the point where his jaw and his ear met, between his teeth and Neil couldn’t stop a surprised gasp, his body arching into the sensation. Andrew knew that spot. Neil had had so many hickeys on it in their dream he lost count, because it never failed to send a rush of arousal through his entire body when Andrew kissed or bit or sucked it between his lips. Andrew did it again, eliciting the same reaction from Neil as before, and Neil dug his fingers into Andrew’s shirt. He pulled on the fabric, not sure himself whether he was trying to pull it off or Andrew closer of both, but Andrew still complied. He pushed off the bed enough to use his hands to pull his shirt off, then let his body sink back onto Neil’s, though not enough to feel his weight, just barely touching. His lips back on Neil’s neck, Neil let his hands explore Andew’s body. It was different than in their dream, since their minds worked with what their younger bodies might have looked like as they were aging, but joining the Foxes and the regular exercise that came with that decision left Andrew wider, stronger. Hard muscle and soft skin under his fingers and Andrew’s skillful mouth on his neck had Neil’s head spinning. At first he barely registered when Andrew’s hand was back on his stomach, pushing his shirt up, but suddenly his lips were there, too, leaving a wet trail of kisses from his bellybutton to his chest, and Neil breathed out hard, one hand digging into Andrew’s hair. 

“Who did this?” Andrew asked, his voice hoarse and quiet, and Neil blinked his eyes open to look down. Andrew was frowning at the scars snaking their way along his body, from his hips across his entire torso until they crawled under his bunched up shirt and would cover his collarbone and shoulders as well. Neil’s stomach sank for a moment, but Andrew’s hand gently brushing over one of them calmed his nerves.

“My father, mostly,” he answered quietly. Andrew looked up and their eyes locked. “I wasn’t the cruel, bloodthirsty demon he wanted as a son, so he tried to beat it into me.” Neil’s eyes followed Andrew as he pushed his body up until they were on eye level.

“It didn’t work,” he said after a second of silence, “I ran away last year.”

“Good.” Was Andrew’s only reply before he kissed Neil again.

Neil was careful where to touch Andrew at first, not knowing how many walls he had built up again, but soon realised that Andrew was comfortable with his hands anywhere Neil wanted to put them. He explored, touched, slow and gentle, his lips busy making Andrew shudder with a thousand kisses to his neck. Andrew, fitted perfectly between Neil’s thighs, remembered almost every spot on Neil’s body that’d have him gasping and shuddering. Everything he did was slow, careful, avoiding the fresh bruises and cuts from Neil’s fight with Riko and his father’s henchmen. By the time they were undressed Neil was a mess, breath shaking, eyes barely open, fingers curled around Andrew’s biceps. Lube-wet fingers on his ass had Neil gasping, goosebumps on his entire body.  
“Okay?” Andrew asked and Neil nodded. 

The first finger pushing inside him drew a long, quiet moan from Neil, his body responding to the sensation that it didn’t know but that Neil’s mind immediately recognised. It was strange yet familiar at the same time and the contradiction left Neil shaking and panting while Andrew moved his finger inside him in a slow rhythm. He took his time, so long Neil was at the brink of begging for more, before Andrew added a second and eventually a third finger. Andrew was watching him intently for any signs of discomfort, but he wouldn’t find any. Neil wouldn’t want to be anywhere but right here.

A shock of arousal went through him as Andrew twisted his wrist, and Neil cupped his face between his palms, his back arching off the bed ever so slightly, pulling Andrew in until their lips were brushing but not kissing.

“Andrew,” he breathed, “Let me feel you in this world, too.”

Andrew exhaled, short and audible, and Neil felt it ghost across his face. His hand twitched against Neil’s waist before he let it wander down his body, gentle fingers brushing across Neil’s skin and giving him goosebumps. It rested on Neil’s ass while his other pulled back, leaving Neil feeling empty but excited for what was to come. He was distracted by Andrew’s lips on his own and barely noticed him working on himself, but suddenly his hand was back on his ass, this time pushing his cheek to the side. 

“Are you sure?” Andrew stopped and hesitated, and Neil blinked his eyes open. 

“Yeah,” he said, but added before Andrew could move on, “What about you?”

Neil’s question had them both pause, and they shared a quiet moment in the middle of this all, where they just looked at each other, making sure there was no visible discomfort on either of their faces. Looking for the signs that others would find hard to get but coming up empty handed. They were relaxed. They were comfortable. They were _ home _.

Neil felt a tension he hadn’t noticed before wash away when he didn’t find anything in Andrew’s body language, and even more so when he answered his question with a single, short nod.

“Yeah,” Andrew said and Neil pulled one corner of his mouth up into a half-smile. 

“Okay,” he replied quietly.

“Okay,” Andrew said as well. He paused for another second before reaching down with his free hand and lining his cock up. 

No sound but a quiet, strangled gasp left Neil when Andrew pushed into him. His fingers dug into Andrew’s shoulders hard, his head pressed back into the pillow and his lips were parted in a silent moan. It was only now that Neil really realised how much he missed this. Not just _this_; the lust, the arousal, the physical part of sex - which, of course, he missed too because how couldn’t he - but being so close to Andrew, feeling him on every inch of his body, seeing him open up and let go of all his worries for a while, and feeling so save in a position as vulnerable as this. There was no one on this earth who would ever be able to make Neil feel like this, except Andrew.

“Neil,” Andrew said after a few seconds, his cock already an inch or two inside Neil, and his voice tight, “Breathe.” 

Suddenly he realised he really had stopped breathing and gulped in a big breath, swallowing his silence with it apparently. The breath left his lungs in a long, low moan that shook Neil’s entire body. Everything felt familiar, yet so much more intense than he remembered. Andrew’s hands on his body, his breath on his skin, his lips on Neil’s and his cock inside him, none of it was new, but it was more than ever before. And Neil loved it. He loved having Andrew back, he loved feeling his touches with a new intensity, he loved hearing his voice and the things he said. 

Andrew started to move now, just a slow, careful back and forth, pushing deeper on every gentle thrust. Neil was shaking with arousal after just a few seconds of this. On top of him, Andrew wasn’t off much better though, his arms, braced on each side of Neil’s head again, were trembling and Neil was fairly sure it wasn’t from exhaustion, looking at how Andrew’s arms were thick enough that Neil probably wouldn’t be able to wrap his hands around them and have his fingertips touch. 

Eventually Andrew pushed inside him all the way, his hips pressing up against Neil’s ass, and Neil wrapped his legs around his waist to keep him there. He felt so full in more than one sense, physically and emotionally. Suddenly with Andrew right here, right in this moment, Neil felt every worry he had falling off him and being replaced with utter content. It was like they were sheltered from everything outside of their little bubble. It felt like a dream. But at the same time it didn’t. It was the same yet different, like their own little dream in the physical world. Impossible, of course, but Neil didn’t care about possible or impossible when this was exactly what it felt like. 

“Okay?” Andrew asked and Neil realised he was still keeping him from moving.

“Yeah,” he mumbled and couldn’t stop the happy smile from sneaking onto his lips, “More than okay.”

“You’re impossible,” Andrew grunted and pushed a hand into Neil’s face, half-covering his smile, which only resulted in Neil grinning harder.

“No, I’m not,” he said, wrapped his arms around Andrew’s neck and pulled himself up to kiss him. Andrew let him, his hand wandering from his face to his jaw instead, then down Neil’s neck and along his body until it settled on his thigh eventually. 

Neil couldn’t tell how much time had passed - but he didn’t really care with his legs around Andrew’s waist and Andrew’s hand a constant weight on his thigh, fingers wrapped around it as much as they could and thumb brushing across his skin occasionally. Andrew kept up a slow, gentle rhythm, sending rush after rush of arousal through Neil. Long, low moans, shaking breath, whispered words and gasps. When Neil came it was with Andrew’s name on his lips, and Andew’s lips on his own.

Their limbs were still tangled as they were lying next to each other afterwards, foreheads pressed together, both trying to calm their breath. Neil still felt every single one of Andrew’s touches on his body and kept his eyes closed to bathe in the memory. Andrew’s arm was slung loosely around his waist, Neil’s hands were limp on his chest. 

“Let’s go clean up,” Andrew said eventually, breaking the silence. Neil smiled to himself when he heard his hoarse voice before nodding his agreement. 

Dragging himself out of bed was harder than Neil thought, because suddenly all the exhaustion came crashing over him again and his body grew almost too heavy to carry. He still made himself follow Andrew to the bathroom. 

“You look like shit,” Andrew pointed out, looking at Neil.

“Not what I wanna hear right after we had sex, Andrew,” Neil grumbled in response but gave him a small yet amused grin. 

“It’s true though.”

“I know. I’m really tired now, after all that happened. It was a lot.”

“It was,” Andrew agreed and grew quiet afterwards. Neil only let him brood for two seconds before he said: “But I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. I have you back, that’s all that matters.” He pressed a kiss to Andrew’s shoulder from behind him and watched through the mirror as his eyes snapped back up and at Neil. They shared a look through the mirror and Neil smiled at him softly, placing his chin on top of Andrew’s shoulder. 

“Get cleaned up, Neil,” Andrew huffed and Neil knew he was flustered but would never admit it.

“On it,” Neil laughed and raised his washcloth.

Neil busied himself with cleaning up again, but whenever he raised his eyes to the mirror he caught Andrew looking at him. The warm, bubbly feeling this put in his chest forced Neil to lower his eyes again so he wouldn’t actually _ giggle _, but even biting his lip didn’t make the grin that felt like it would split his face any second now go away. 

They made it back to bed eventually and Neil felt clean and content. When they lay down Andrew extended his arm without saying a word, pointedly not looking at Neil, and Neil took the offer just as silently. With his head pillowed on Andrew’s shoulder, his nose pressing against his neck, Andrew’s arm curled tightly around his shoulders and Neil’s hand on his bare chest, it would be easy to fall asleep in just a few seconds. Andrew’s heartbeat was a calm, steady rhythm underneath his palm that soothed his racing mind. All of this, it still felt surreal, even more so now that they weren’t caught up in a whirlwind of emotions. But his body and mind grew more and more heavy with each passing second and soon the only thing Neil felt was the warmth and comfort of Andrew’s arms. A sort of security he hadn’t felt in years. 

“Good night, Andrew,” Neil sighed into his shoulder, his words already slurring. But Andrew stayed quiet and worry was an immediate response inside Neil when it came to Andrew, so he raised his head to look at him from bleary eyes. Andrew was looking back at him, clearly something on his mind. “Are you alright?” Neil asked.

Andrew didn’t say anything for another few seconds, his jaw working and a frown on his face. 

“Is this another dream?” Andrew asked eventually. Neil’s heart sank.

“No,” he whispered.

“You’re still going to be here when I wake up?”

“Yes. I will. I promise.”

Andrew grew quiet again, but the frown evened out and he looked thoughtful instead.

“Okay,” he said after a while, “Good night, Neil.”

Neil pressed a short, gentle kiss to Andrew’s lips, then said: “Good night, Drew.” He caught the small smile that rushed across Andrew’s face upon the familiar nickname and placed his head back on his shoulder, feeling light again.

Neil woke up to rays of sunshine warming his face. A small groan escaped him as he draped his arm over his eyes to shut out the light for a little longer, but his slowly waking mind suddenly reminded him of what had happened last night and Neil’s heart skipped a beat, filling his chest with warmth. It felt like it would burst any minute. Andrew. Andrew was back. And he still loved him too. Neil blinked his eyes open and turned to his other side, to Andrew- 

Except Andrew wasn’t here. The pillow was still dented where Andrew’s head had rested, and the blanket was rumpled next to Neil, like someone pushed it away to get up. Cold dread sneaked its way into Neil’s throat, but Neil refused to let it take over and swallowed it down instead. Andrew had never been the type to stay in bed long after waking up, at least not in their dream, Neil shouldn’t assume the worst. There was no reason to believe Andrew woke up and changed his mind. Well, maybe there was reason to think that, but Neil refused to acknowledge it. Just for once he hoped his happiness would last longer than one night.

Neil rolled out of bed despite his entire body protesting. Everything was sore, every limb hurt and the cuts on his face and body pinched with every muscle he moved. He knew his body would heal soon, none of the injuries were life threatening, but that didn’t make them hurt any less.

Neil threw his T-shirt on, though he ought to get rid of it soon, it was torn in more places than not from beaks and claws trying to break skin instead of fabric. The bedroom door opened to the smell of coffee and the sound of the working coffeemaker, luring him to the kitchen where he found Andrew with his back turned to the door, wearing a slightly worn out shirt and sweatpants he hadn't been wearing the night before. Neil figured he had some spare clothes stored here, just in case. 

“Good morning.” The sound of Neil's voice made Andrew turn around. He was still standing inside the door, uncertainty taking over despite his efforts not to worry. Now that he was standing here he couldn't help but wonder, what if Andrew did change his mind, and his words and actions from last night had just been born from the heat of the moment?

But then Andrew leaned back against the counter, one hand casually on top of it, the other slowly rising in invitation. 

“Good morning,” he said, and just like that every flicker of doubt was gone. Neil went ahead with a light-hearted spring in his step, walking straight into Andrew's inviting arms and Andrew didn't hesitate before putting both hands on Neil's hips. Neil smiled at him - he did an awful lot of smiling at the moment, but he wasn't complaining - and placed his own hands on Andrew's shoulders. 

“How did you sleep?” Neil asked, voice still a little hoarse from sleep.

“Do you really need to ask that or is that just dream wanderer courtesy? “ Andrew replied dryly, and Neil had to laugh at that. 

“No,” he said, “I was too exhausted last night, I didn't go near anyone's dreams. I'm asking out of genuine curiosity.”

“I slept fine,” Andrew said, “You still look like shit, though.”

“You're so charming, Drew, you didn't change one bit in that regard.” Neil rolled his eyes, but the little, amused grin on his lips probably gave him away. 

“Did you expect me to?”

“Not really,” Neil chuckled, “It’s one of the things I love about you.” And then he leaned down those few inches he had on Andrew, his hands brushing from his shoulders to his neck, and kissed him. Andrew returned the kiss without a second of hesitation and pulled Neil in by his hips. He felt his fingers snaking on Neil's ass, palms cupping his cheeks and just resting there to keep Neil where he was. Even though there was absolutely no need for that, he wouldn't even think about going anywhere right now, but he certainly appreciated Andrew's hands on that spot.

“Ahem.”

Neil turned his head so quick, he thought he might have given himself whiplash. Even Andrew flinched at the voice that belonged to neither of them. A very awkward silence settled in the room and Neil was very aware of Andrew's hands still resting on his ass. Everyone was frozen on their spot, just staring at each other. 

“Uhm,” Neil eventually said, “....good morning, Kevin.”

“What the fuck?” Kevin said quietly, yet with a lot of feeling. 

“That's fair.”

“What did I just walk into?”

“That's a very good question, Kevin.”

“Nathaniel, I swear to God-”

Neil squirmed out of Andrew's embrace and Andrew finally seemed to notice where his hands still lay, because he released him the second Neil started to move.

“Right, uh, let me explain?”

“Yes, please, by all means, I'm dying to know what on earth I missed,” Kevin said with a healthy amount of pungent sarcasm in his voice, “Last I remember you two never met and now you're making out in the kitchen.”

“Yeah. Right. About that… Let's sit down, okay?”

They did, Kevin eyeing them warily and Andrew pouring three cups of coffee before sitting down next to Neil. 

“What the fuck happened while I was passed out on the couch, Nathaniel?”

“Let's start with the name thing. I've gone by Neil for a while now, because Nathaniel just reminded me too much of my father…”

Neil didn't know how long they were sitting by the kitchen table, explaining their relationship and its beginnings to Kevin, but by the time they were done all mugs were emptied and Andrew even had had a second one already. Well, Neil did most of the explaining actually, Andrew mostly just sat silently by his side, looking at Kevin blankly. Neil saw the little twitch in his eye though, the little nervous gesture probably no one else saw because they didn't look at Andrew close enough. Neil wondered what Andrew was so nervous about, and it only got worse when, after the explanation, Kevin just sat in silence, staring at them. Andrew shifted in his seat, turning the empty mug back and forth in his hand.

“I didn't even know you're gay,” Kevin said eventually, blinking at Andrew stupidly. 

_ Oh _.

“Because it's none of your fucking business,” Andrew replied sharply. Was that the reason Andrew had been so nervous? Did he think Kevin would be a jerk about his sexuality? Those two really should talk more, considering they seemed to have something resembling a friendship. It was stupid that Andrew being gay was the one thing in this whole story they got hung up on, but he got it, there were a lot of things Kevin had to process, so his brain started on the easiest part. At least the dream-thing wasn't news to him.

“You two are friends, right?” Neil asked. They replied at the same time, Kevin with a confused _ yes _ , Andrew with a gruff _ no _. Kevin frowned at Andrew. Neil rolled his eyes.

“Why didn't you tell me?” Kevin asked, a tinge of hurt in his voice, and Neil knew this wasn’t about their relationship anymore. This was a thing between Andrew and Kevin, but it was a talk they should've had long ago. “Don't you trust me?”

“I don't have to tell you shit, Kevin, especially not regarding my sexuality when you're still too uptight to deal with your own.”

“What?” Kevin asked, surprise and confusion evident on his face.

“You still think you're straight when you're clearly not,” Andrew grunted angrily. It seemed like that thought had been in Andrew's head for a while now, unspoken for too long. Neil frowned at him, but he stayed out of this. This wasn't his conversation to have.

“What? I'm not-” Kevin said but Andrew interrupted him. 

“Shut up, Kevin, the way you look at Jeremy Knox is _ not _ straight.”

“_ Andrew _,” Kevin said, louder this time to get Andrew's attention, “You’re right, I'm not straight, that was pretty clear to me when Jean and I hid in the bleachers to make out when we were 15.”

That successfully shut Andrew up. Now he was the one blinking at Kevin silently, and Neil had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing. They really needed to talk more. Christ.

“Just because I'm not trying to get into Jeremy's pants doesn't mean I'm not aware of my own sexuality. It just means that I have a girlfriend who I love.” Andrew stayed silent, so did Kevin, and they both looked progressively more uncomfortable. Neil let them brood in it for a little while longer, they deserved it for being too dumb to talk about this stuff earlier.

“Right. Anything else you guys need to discuss first? I can go for a run and leave you to it for an hour-”  
“You’re not running anywhere,” Andrew grunted.

“Yeah. Not before you’ve seen a doctor,” Kevin agreed and Neil rolled his eyes. Right, okay, basically everything hurt, but he wasn’t dying or anything.

“I’m fine,” Neil said and a second later thought Kevin and Andrew might strangle him for it, “Anyway, where do you wanna find a doctor who can treat me properly?”

“We could ask Abby,” Kevin suggested, though it was more directed towards Andrew than Neil, “She doesn’t ask questions.”

“Hmh,” Andrew replied.

“Is anyone gonna ask me?” Neil said.

“No,” Kevin and Andrew replied in unison. Great. At least they seemed to have gotten over the awkwardness of their prior conversation. 

Neil ended up back in Andrew’s car, in the passenger seat this time, on their way to the Foxhole Court. Kevin asked them a few more questions until he just seemed to accept the fact that Andrew and Neil were a thing.

“Who is this Abby anyway?” Neil asked when they were close to their destination.

“She’s the team’s nurse,” Kevin said, “She’s used to not asking too many questions. If she asks something you can’t answer without telling her you’re not human, just tell her you don’t want to talk about it. She’s gonna drop it then.” The Foxhole Court was a big building with white walls and blindingly orange fox paws painted on them. It almost hurt looking at it with the sun shining on it, but Andrew ushered them inside quickly anyway. It didn’t take long until they heard voices talking over each other, one of them clearly more agitated than the others.

  
“What if something happened?!” The voice all but shrieked, “What if they’re dead?”

“Nicky, calm the fuck down,” someone else grunted. Neil saw an open door at the end of the corridor where the voices were coming from.

  
“It really is weird though,” a young woman said, “Kevin would _ never _ skip practice, especially not without telling us first.”

“Thank you, Dan!” The first voice, Nicky, said, “I haven’t seen them since last night, and their beds were untouched when Aaron and I got up today. Something is wrong!”

“Maybe they just finally eloped,” another woman said in a mocking tone, “Or Kevin decided he’s sick of trying to teach us how to play and went back to Riko and his weirdos, and he took Andrew right with him.”

“That’s disgusting, Reynolds,” Andrew said unimpressed as he stepped into the room, “Red is clearly not my colour.”

“Andrew!” Nicky screamed and Neil saw him jumping off his seat with pure relief on his face. 

“Andrew, Kevin!” Dan said with significantly more annoyance on her face and in her voice than Nicky, “Where the fuck have you been?!” No one had noticed Neil yet due to the fact that he was mostly hidden behind Kevin’s taller form. Not that he was hiding or anything. 

“Not your business,” Andrew said with a monotone voice that Neil never heard before, and that he didn’t like at all. It was so emotionless. He didn't like this Andrew.

“It is my business if two of my players just vanish and skip morning _ and _noon practice!”

“You didn’t pick up your phone, Andrew,” another voice said. She sounded soft and warm and Neil stole a glance around Kevin’s shoulder to see who was speaking so softly to Andrew, but he just caught a glimpse of white hair before someone asked:  
“Hey, who’s that?”

Neil flinched and quickly hid behind Kevin again, but Kevin stepped to the side to reveal him. What a friend. They had agreed to just get Neil inside to see that nurse and then get out again, but now he had to explain himself in front of their entire team. Fantastic.

The young man who had asked who he was was tall, taller than Kevin, and wore his hair up in spikes that made him look even _ taller _. And when he caught a first proper glimpse of Neil his breath caught.

“Oh, shit, are you okay?!”

“I’m fine.” Neil said.

“Did the Monster do that?” A blonde woman asked, the one who had made the comment about Andrew and Kevin eloping earlier.

“Who?” Neil asked, frowning. For a second he thought she meant him, wouldn’t be the first time someone called him a monster, but she didn’t even know he wasn’t entirely human.

“The Monster,” she repeated, pointing at Andrew. Andrew didn’t even react to that name, he just stared at her unimpressed.

“Andrew didn’t do anything,” Kevin said before Neil could answer and gave his shoulder a little push to make him walk. He stumbled and flinched when he turned and found himself just inches away from the girl with the white hair. She stood right in front of him, moved without Neil even noticing, and smiled at him warm and soft - but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. Neil immediately didn’t like her. She was looking at him with a weird intensity, as if she was trying to figure him out with just one look and it sent an unpleasant shiver down Neil’s spine.

“Hello, I’m Renee,” she said, extending her hand for him to shake. That was when Neil spotted it. Around her neck hung a delicate necklace made of silver with a cross pendant resting right on her chest. To anyone who didn’t know about the supernatural it would look like a regular necklace worn by a nice, christian girl. To Neil it was reason to bring space between himself and her as fast as possible, almost falling over his own feet in the attempt. He bumped into a TV, almost pushing it off its stand, but he didn’t care, he scrambled for purchase on the shelf it was standing on, his panicked eyes flicking from her pendant to her face. She didn’t look surprised at all, her smile faltering but not leaving her face entirely. With her hands folded in front of her body she watched Neil retreat calmly. The knowing look on her face turned Neil’s stomach. She had figured him out in seconds, whereas Neil had been too unobservant. She was good at what she did. And Neil could’ve been dead by now.

“Murderer,” Neil breathed and couldn't keep the fear from his voice, staring at the young woman. At the name she pulled an unhappy face.

“What did you just call Renee?” Several scandalised voices around him asked.

“I don’t think that’s a very fair thing to call me,” she said, the smile back on her lips. Neil felt like she was mocking him. “It’s not me who does the murdering.”

“Oh, right, you call it _ cleaning _,” Neil spat back. It took everything in him to hide the panic as much as possible, the way his heart was beating a million miles per hour. He felt his hands starting to shake and gripped the shelf harder with sweaty palms. 

“Nath-- Neil, what’s going on?” Kevin asked, alarmed by Neil’s reaction to Renee. He stayed where he was but kept looking back and forth between the two. Andrew was just as alarmed, if not as visibly as Kevin, and watched the scene unfold in front of him intently, waiting for his cue. Neil took a sharp, shaky breath and swallowed hard.

“Exorcist,” he pressed out between gritted teeth. Kevin’s head whipped around immediately. He stared at Renee with wide eyes, shock written all over his face. Andrew turned his head too, albeit a lot calmer than Kevin, and raised his eyebrow at her in question. Then he made a couple steps towards Neil and Neil felt relief wash over him at that show of support. Andrew didn't even know what it meant for Neil to be in the vicinity of an exorcist, yet he could tell from Neil's reaction that it was bad, and decided to openly show his support and protection. Not that Andrew could do much about it if she decided to eradicate the threat she saw in Neil, but he appreciated the sentiment. Renee watched Andrew and tilted her head slightly, then she looked back at Neil, watching him like a hawk watching its prey.

“You- You’re an exorcist?!” Kevin stammered, staring at Renee. She directed her gaze towards him and nodded. 

“The fucking necklace, Kevin,” Neil barked, “How the fuck did you not notice the necklace?! It’s the exorcist mark.” Kevin, stupid fucking Kevin, blinked at Neil, then at Renee, and his eyes dropped to her pendant where he finally noticed the engraving. Every exorcist wore a pendant like this, some with crosses, some with other religious symbols, but always with the same oath engraved into it: to cleanse the earth of all evil. Evil, in this case, meaning demons, because exorcists believed all demons were evil. Sometimes exorcists worked as assassins too, killing who they deemed evil humans as well, but they usually did it in the dark. If the exorcist circle heard about an exorcist killing humans, it was usually just a matter of days until that exorcist “vanished” off the face of the earth.

“Listen, Renee,” Kevin said, slowly panicking too. He knew what it meant when Neil was here with an exorcist. One of them would die soon. “Neil isn’t going to hurt anyone.”  
“I’m not a fucking _ animal _,” Neil shouted angrily, “Don’t talk about me like I’m a rabid dog!”

“A rabid dog doesn’t know it might kill someone if it bites,” Renee answered calmly and smiled at Neil. She was _ clearly _mocking him.

“Oh, that’s rich,” Neil said with a humorless laugh, “You know nothing yet you think you know everything. You walk around ‘cleansing’ earth of evil, but you know nothing of my kind. You just know what _ they _want you to believe is the truth.”

“Uhm, what the fuck is going on?” Nicky asked confused from the back of the room.

“Andrew, what kind of weirdo did you drag along this time?” Someone else asked and Neil was so thrown off for a moment, he could only stare at the young man who was speaking. That guy…looked exactly like Andrew. Andrew just glared at who probably - hopefully - was his twin. There were some other explanations as to how there was someone with his face, but all of them involved the supernatural and Neil didn’t want to think any of them were the case.

“What’s going on in here?” A loud voice thundered through the room, cutting off all conversations and immediately dragging everyone’s attention to the door where a tall, brawny man stood. His arms, tightly crossed in front of his chest, wore tribal tattoos and his face a deep frown. He let his gaze wander over the crowd and eventually settled on Neil, his frown only deepening more. 

“Who’s that kid? Why is there a torn up kid I’ve never seen before in my locker room right next to Andrew? Minyard, what happened?”

“I didn’t do shit, Coach,” Andrew said, throwing his hands up in an innocent gesture.

“Forgive me for not believing you,” he said unimpressed. Andrew just shrugged and pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“He’s a friend, Coach,” Kevin explained and the man’s eyebrow shot up immediately. 

“A friend,” he echoed. Kevin nodded. 

“Is he the reason you called Abby?” Kevin nodded again. As if she had been waiting for her cue, a significantly shorter woman with a kind face squeezed past the Foxes’ coach into the room.

“Oh, dear,” she said when she spotted Neil, “You look like you fought a cougar.” Not exactly, but close. But she didn’t know that. And Neil wasn’t about to tell her. Abby looked from Neil to the rest of the present people, then back to Neil, then to Kevin.

“Why is everyone so tense?” She asked.

“There was a, uh, minor argument,” Kevin said. He frowned at himself after saying that, realising how stupid it sounded. However, Abby didn’t comment on it, she just let it slide, shook her head with a sigh and then turned to Neil. 

“Can I have a look at you? I don’t want those cuts to get infected.”

“I’d rather just leave,” Neil said, his gaze wandering from Abby to Renee, “I’m fine.”

“You’re _ clearly _not fine,” Coach huffed. He sounded annoyed, but in a way that had Neil assume it wasn't the first time he had a conversation like this, “But you’re not on my team, so I can’t force you to let Abby have a look at you.”

Neil shuffled on his feet. His survival instincts told him to run away as fast as he possibly could and let his cuts and bruises heal by themselves, but the mere thought of leaving Andrew and Kevin behind made him feel sick and cold. Memories from last night, of nimble fingers and tender lips, glued his feet to the ground. He didn't want to leave. Not when he finally had his best friend and his boyfriend back. But staying meant dying.

“Neil,” Andrew said quietly next to him. Neil looked at him and finally, finally Andrew's eyes weren’t so cold and emotionless anymore. They were intense and living. And Neil knew what Andrew would ask of him. “Let her look.”

Neil swallowed hard. He didn’t want to stay near an exorcist.

“Okay.”

Abby smiled, albeit she looked slightly confused by Andrew’s involvement in Neil’s compliance. 

“My office is just next door,” she said warmly, “Let’s go there, shall we?”

Neil followed her slowly, his gaze darting between Kevin, Andrew and Renee. They all stayed exactly where they were, but their eyes were carefully fixed on him. Abby was already by the door of her office, holding it open for Neil, and after another second of hesitation he entered.


	3. A New Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things take a turn to the better for Neil. But will his luck prevail?

This entire situation took fucked up turn after fucked up turn. As if it wasn’t enough that Andrew found out that the boy from his dreams was actually real and a demon, now apparently Renee was an exorcist who  _ killed  _ demons. Wasn’t that fantastic? The tension in the room was palpable, even more so when Neil went with Abby to get his bruises treated. Renee watched his every move, and Andrew had never seen her look so serious, almost cold. 

Actually, he had. When she talked about her past. It had him on edge, watching Renee watch Neil, hoping she wouldn't try to hurt him. Andrew wasn't sure how he'd respond to that. He had no intentions of hurting Renee, but he knew he would if she came too close to Neil. 

There was a second of silence when the door clicked shut, then everyone erupted into agitated chatter. Voices talked over each other and it was impossible to make out what they were saying. Andrew didn’t try. He kept staring at Renee. She noticed, of course, and directed her gaze to him. Her eyes were searching, looking for answers to her unspoken questions. Andrew kept his face carefully blank, not willing to give anything away. 

“Jesus Christ! Everyone shut up!” Coach yelled, successfully silencing the room, “I don’t know what happened, but I’m not gonna ask now. I want that boy patched up first, then I want answers.”

“He’s crazy,” Aaron said, rolling his eyes, “I think it’d be better to call Bee to patch  _ that  _ up, not Abby.”

“Shut up, Aaron,” Kevin hissed, “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“He called Renee a murderer and an exorcist, Kevin. That guy is absolutely batshit.” Aaron let his finger circle next to his temple as he said this. 

Andrew noticed Coach perking up at Aaron’s words. He raised his chin an inch, his eyes darting from Aaron to Renee, then back to Aaron. But he stayed silent. Andrew squinted, but the sound of Abby’s door opening again caught his attention instead.

“David,” Abby called from her office, “I’m going to need the kit from the car for this one. Can you get it for me?”

“ _ Oh _ ,” Coach said, his eyebrows rising in surprise, “You mean-”

“Yes,” Abby said.

“Alright. I’ll get it.” Coach left, Abby closed her door again. And the second they were by themselves, the talking started again.

“Andrew.”

Renee’s voice was so sudden and close, Andrew almost flinched at the sound of it. She was standing right in front of him, looking at him with an uncomfortable intensity.

“I don’t know who he is to you, but he’s not what you think he is.”

“I know exactly what he is,” Andrew responded flatly.

“Do you really?”

“Yes. What I did not know was what  _ you  _ are.” 

Renee heard the accusation in that and dropped her eyes to the floor for a second. She knew how much Andrew hated not knowing what he was dealing with, and Renee had always been the one person Andrew trusted to tell him the truth about herself. Apparently he had been wrong.

“There was no reason to,” she said, looking back into his eyes, “I didn’t know you knew about  _ them _ .” When Andrew didn’t reply, Renee sighed quietly.

“I haven’t been an active exorcist since Stephanie adopted me,” she said, “Stephanie doesn’t believe in hunting the evil. She believes in saving them.”

  
“And what do you believe in?” Andrew asked. Renee hesitated. 

“I believe one can try to save them.”

“But?” Andrew asked after a second.

“But I am not going to be responsible for deaths at the hands of those who don’t want to be saved.”

“So you kill them before they can kill someone else?”

“Are you judging me?” Renee asked, smiling, then her eyes flicked to Kevin and back to Andrew. He knew exactly what she was implying. Andrew snorted quietly.

“Violence to protect what’s mine is my path. You’re supposed to be _ better _ than me, Renee, not  _ like  _ me.”

Coach returned to the locker room with a box under his arm. A heavy padlock secured it and words from a different language Andrew didn’t know were written all over its lid. The box woke an uncomfortable feeling in Andrew's stomach he couldn't shake off. This wasn't a regular first aid kit, if it was one at all, and Andrew didn't like not knowing what was happening in that room. 

Coach carried the box straight to Abby’s office, knocked and gave it to her when she opened the door for him. They exchanged some words Andrew couldn’t make out, Coach threw a look into the room, then closed the door and turned back to them. 

“Alright, we’re definitely going to have a talk later,” he said, looking at Kevin and Andrew.

***

Neil felt almost claustrophobic when Abby shut the door. Her office was small, but the reason for his feeling wasn’t the size of the room, but being trapped with someone he didn’t know, who wanted to take a closer look at his body. 

“It’s really okay,” Neil tried again, “I’m gonna be fine. You don’t have to treat me.”

“Actually, I took an oath,” she smiled, already pulling on rubber gloves, “I promise I’ll get this over with as quickly as possible. Can you take your shirt off, please?” Neil hesitated but had no choice really, so he did as he was asked. Abby seemed a bit taken aback at what she saw, the scars snaking up his body and the new bruises and cuts, some of them sure to leave new scars on Neil’s torso. He averted his eyes and scanned the shelves filled with medical books instead.

“What’s your name? I completely forgot to ask. How rude of me,” Abby said, trying to distract Neil as she started to examine him with gentle hands, using a wet cloth to wipe away dried blood and dirt Neil didn’t wash off properly.

“Neil,” he said.

“Alright, Neil. I’m Abby.”

“I know.”

They were silent again and Neil was thankful for that. If she tried to have smalltalk with him he’d be even more uncomfortable, as it raised the chances of her asking questions he didn’t want to answer.

“When did this happen?” Abby asked when she was done taking the damage in. She turned to her first aid kit instead and unscrewed what looked like an antiseptic liquid.

“Yesterday,” Neil said - and suddenly Abby stopped what she was doing.

“Yesterday?” 

Unsettled, Neil turned his gaze to her. He thought giving her this tiny piece of information would be safe, but after her response he felt like he said something he shouldn’t have.

“Yes. Yesterday,” he repeated. Abby sat the antiseptic and the cloth she drenched in it down and went back to giving his cuts and bruises a closer look.

“But,” she mumbled, her eyebrows pulling into a confused frown, “They started to heal already, how can they be from yesterday?”

Neil’s heart sank. How stupid. How fucking stupid of him. He should’ve told her they were from a couple days ago. His body healed faster than the human body thanks to his demonic genes, but how was he going to explain this to her without giving himself away? He shouldn’t have let her have a look. He should’ve just treated himself, as he did the entire last year.

“I-,” Neil stammered, struggling to find an excuse, “I guess I’m just lucky? I told you, you don’t have to treat me.” Quickly he reached for his shirt to put it back on, but then Abby was on eye-level with him, taking his chin between her fingers gently. Neil froze, the shirt dangling from his fists, and stared back into her eyes. She studied him, her expression an intense but confused gaze, clearly looking for answers. And then she found them. Her face cleared up in a matter of a second and her lips formed a little o-shape as her eyebrows rose in understanding.

“ _ Oh,” _ she breathed after a moment of silence, “Those eyes...You’re a dream wanderer, aren’t you?”

Shock was an imminent feeling, tightening Neil’s chest until he felt like he couldn’t breathe. This human, she didn’t just know about demons, she could tell he was a dream wanderer. For humans to distinguish between different kinds of demons just by their looks she had to have an extensive knowledge about his kind, and that terrified Neil. The only humans he knew with this sort of knowledge were exorcists.

  
“How--” He breathed, making a step back, but he didn’t get far. He bumped into the stretcher behind him and saw no way to escape to either side. He was trapped.

“Don’t be scared,” she said immediately, throwing her hands up so Neil could see them, “I’m a doctor.”

“Human doctors can’t tell my kind apart from other demons,” Neil said.

“I can,” she said, her voice calm and quiet, “When I started working at the trauma unit at the local hospital just after I finished med school, I noticed the head physician acting kind of weird. I tried to find out what he was doing but I wasn’t as sneaky as I thought I was, so he found me out pretty soon. But instead of throwing me out, he asked me whether I’d like to help him. It turned out that he was secretly treating demons behind everyone’s back, which was illegal at the time. I had intense training in demonic treatment and treated thousands in my time at the hospital.”

Neil stared at her, disbelieving. She was trained in treating demons? It would explain how she’d be able to find out what exactly he was, just by looking at his eyes. 

“I’m on your side,” she added quietly.

“Is this why Kevin wanted to bring me here?” He asked, fidgeting with the shirt in his hands. Maybe she wasn’t lying. Maybe Kevin knew about this and that’s why he wanted her to treat Neil.

“No,” Abby said and Neil’s stomach clenched again, “Kevin doesn’t know I treat as many demons as I treat humans. I don’t even think he knows David and I know demons exist. We never mentioned it, because of his past in the Nest. We figured he was quite traumatised and wouldn’t trust us if he knew.” Neil didn’t respond to that and Abby left him some time to figure out what he wanted to do with the information she gave him. He didn’t know either, though. It was a dangerous game he was about to play. Trusting her might mean his death, and Neil wasn’t good at trusting strangers to begin with. But he trusted Kevin and Andrew, and they seemed to trust Abby.

“Will you let me treat you?” She asked when he still didn’t say anything after a couple of minutes. Neil looked at her.

“Yes,” he said quietly. Abby smiled and slowly lowered her hands.

“Alright. Thank you, Neil. I’ll ask David to get what I need.” She turned to the door and opened it, calling out for someone to get her the kit from her car. A little while later the Foxes’ Coach knocked on the door, a box under his arm.

“Is he-” He started, throwing a glance at Neil over Abby’s head.

“Yep,” Abby said easily, taking the box from him. Coach raised one eyebrow, still looking at Neil, then huffed quietly and turned his eyes back on Abby.

“Okay. That’s interesting. I’m sure looking forward to hearing Kevin and Andrew’s story to this.” Abby chuckled quietly.    
“We’ll ask them later. I have a patient right now.” And with that, she closed the door and carried the box over to Neil. It was secured with a heavy padlock and some scriptures Neil vaguely knew the meaning of, and inside she had a considerable collection of what looked like liquids and salves not meant for human consumption. Neil recognised some of them.

“Have you been trained by a witch?” Neil asked as he scanned the box’s contents.

“A witch?” Abby laughed, raising her eyebrows at him and unscrewing one of the bottles.

“I mean that’s what humans call doctors who treat us. Technically you’re a witch, too.”

“I guess you could say that.” Abby shrugged and poured some of the liquid onto a fresh cloth. The white fabric turned a soft beige from the golden colour of the liquid. “This is an antiseptic made with lime oil and myrrh. It might burn a bit, but it’s better than the chemical-based one I was about to use on you.” 

It did burn, but it was better than getting his cuts infected. Or than being treated with the chemical-based antiseptic. Neil was lucky, thanks to the part of him that was human he didn’t struggle too much with modern medicine, but he still preferred plant-based treatments. Sometimes, when a demon was treated with modern human medicine, it might cause what could only be described as an allergic reaction. Their bodies didn’t like the chemicals in them. So usually they’d use homeopathic medicine, or make their own from plants and herbs. Doctors who used this method, who made their own salves and balms and elixirs, brewed teas and infusions and burned incense to treat illness and wounds were called crazy by the majority of people, and witches by those who knew about the supernatural. Neil was just glad people practicing this kind of medicine still existed. 

“What’s this?” Neil asked and watched with interest as Abby put on a fresh pair of gloves, then pulled the lid off a tub. His curiosity almost made him forget about his fear. 

“It’s a balm laced with acacia and chamomile. I’m going to put it on your cuts before putting a bandage on them. It’s going to help with healing and it’ll work against infections,” Abby explained with a soft smile on her lips, dipped her finger into the tub and started to work her way up from his stomach, rubbing the balm on his wounds with gentle fingers and then taping them up.

“Why are there scriptures on the box?” Neil had been watching Abby’s every move, his eyes lingering on the box whenever she reached for it. Now he couldn’t hold his curiosity back anymore. In return, Abby looked up at him, then back to what she was doing.

“It’s blessed scripture, it has been put there by a cleric. It’s meant to bless everything that goes inside this box.” Neil frowned. 

“Why would a cleric do that? Did you not tell him what you’re going to use that box for?”

“Oh, no, I did,” she said, “But not every cleric believes that demons are inherently evil. In fact, this one offered shelter specifically to demonic children who lost their parents. He was a very sweet man who treated those children with kindness.”

That was a surprise. It wasn’t often that members of the church were so open. Usually their minds were clouded by religious scripture that made demons out to be these evil, bloodthirsty beasts. 

“There we go,” she breathed when she was done treating Neil’s last cut, pulled off the gloves and threw them away with a sigh. “That should do the trick. Is there anything else you need?”

Neil shook his head and lifted his shirt to put it back on, then stopped.

“Maybe a less hole-y shirt?” He asked. Abby laughed.

“Sorry, I don’t have one that would fit you. Maybe one of the others can borrow you something for the time being.” So he pulled the shirt over his head after all and followed Abby outside. 

The only ones left in the locker room were Andrew and Kevin, and Neil hurried over once he spotted them.

“He’s going to be fine,” Abby said to them with a smile, “Nothing too serious. Could one of you boys borrow him a shirt, though? Poor Neil looks like he’s been attacked by wild animals.” The silence that followed was awkward. Kevin, Andrew and Neil exchanged glances before looking back at Abby, who was looking at them utterly bewildered.

“Wait.  _ Have  _ you been attacked by wild animals?” She asked.

“Wild shapeshifters,” Neil mumbled in response.

“Oh dear Lord,” she sighed. “Alright. Anyway. Please find something for him to put on, I’ll go talk to David.”

When Abby was gone Andrew turned to the locker behind him and reached inside, then threw a white and orange shirt at Neil who barely caught it. It was Andrew’s jersey he realised when he held it up and saw the name “MINYARD” and the number “03” in big, orange letters on the back. 

***

“Andrew, you said you were just going to take me to see Abby and then we’d leave again,” Neil whispered from the passenger seat, too loud to be considered an actual whisper, “Why are you taking me to your dorms?”

Andrew sighed exasperatedly and set the blinker. This boy. 

“Neil, if you don’t shut up I’m gonna make you,” he huffed. Where else would he go anyway? He didn’t have a home. No one was expecting him. No one was missing him. Except Andrew. Of course he got it, Neil was not comfortable around all those new people who thought he was just insane, and especially not around Renee who turned out to be an exorcist. But she wouldn’t do anything to him. Andrew knew she wouldn’t. And he didn’t care what the others thought. 

“Coach wanted to talk to you later,” Kevin said from the backseat, “It’s better to wait at the dorms than the Court. At least there we can see if we can find something to wear for you.”

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Neil shot back immediately with a frown on his face, his fingers curling into the sleeves of Andrew’s jersey protectively. It absolutely was too big on him - Andrew might be a couple inches smaller than Neil but he was a lot wider than him, plus the jersey was meant to be worn over his protective gear. Yet Neil looked absolutely offended at the notion that he should change into something different. Andrew couldn’t help the way the corner of his mouth twitched into a half-grin.

Kevin fell back into his seat with an annoyed grunt, but the silence didn’t reign for long. 

  
“Sooo uh,” Nicky said, “We still don’t really know who you are?”

Neil half-turned in his seat to look at Nicky, but before he could answer Andrew said: 

“None of your fucking business, Nicky.”

“It kinda is? I mean, you guys brought him here and now Coach is all interested in him!” Nicky complained. Andrew saw the look Neil threw him in the corner of his eye, but ignored it. Neil stayed quiet and turned back.

“Oh come on, guys,” Nicky whined. 

“Once it affects you, you’ll find out,” Kevin said, “For now it’s enough for you to know that his name is Neil, and he’s an old friend of mine.”

“Old friend?” Aaron got involved in the conversation for the first time, sounding suspicious and unhappy, “So he’s another fugitive from Riko’s freak show? Is that it? That’d explain why he’s talking crazy shit, he’s got a screw loose, just like you.”

Both Neil and Kevin tensed up immediately. Neil turned in his seat again but this time he literally tried to climb into the back, probably to fucking twist Aaron’s neck. Andrew grabbed him by the back of the jersey and pulled him back, steering with his other hand.

“Shut the fuck up,” Kevin barked at Aaron. “I said you’ll find out when it affects you. It doesn’t. So it’s none of your business.”

Andrew knew Aaron just felt vindicated in his assumptions by their defensiveness, but he wasn’t about to correct him. He wasn’t completely off anyway, and it was the most logical conclusion. 

They arrived at Foxtower without any more incidents but for some reason, Andrew found himself in his dorm with the entire team. Who invited them? 

“Right, do we get an explanation now?” Dan demanded, her arms crossed in front of her chest and her eyes on Neil. Neil stood close to Andrew, frowning back at her. Andrew wasn’t surprised to find Renee watching him too, as if Neil was about to snap and eat everyone alive the second she let him out of her sight. Apparently it was just too much to ask to get a bit of peace and quiet after everything that happened. 

“Probably not,” Aaron said from the beanbag he was sitting in, “But I bet he’s another weirdo from the Raven’s. Probably Riko roughed him up like this.” Aaron gestured towards his own face, hinting at both the scars and fresh wounds in Neil’s face. Neil flinched. Andrew took a step closer to him. 

A knock on the door cut through the tension that was hanging in the air, and Andrew threw his hands up in surrender.

“Come on in,” he shouted, “It’s open house today anyway!” Coach and Abby stepped in, surprised to see the entire team assembled in the Monsters’ dorm. 

“Oh,” she said, looking around, “Hello everyone.”   
“Kevin, Andrew, Neil, a minute?” Coach stood behind her and jerked his head towards the hallway. All three followed Coach’s request. When they walked past him he looked at them for a second, then directed his eyes back into the room.

“Renee? You too, please.”

Renee seemed just as surprised as them to be asked outside, but she followed with a smile. When the door closed behind them, it was silent. Coach eyed them warily, Abby stood by his side with her hands clasped. Andrew felt like he was about to be scolded like a little child. 

“So,” Coach said eventually, his voice slow. Either he didn’t know what to say, or he wanted to give them a chance to start. Either way, no one said anything. Coach sighed.

“Alright. So, let me see if I got all the facts straight, yeah? You’re a demon,” he said, pointing at Neil.

“Half-demon,” Neil said. Coach huffed and waved him off.

“Alright, half-demon. So you’re a half-demon, and you two brought him here looking like someone tried to eat him alive. According to Abby, some shapeshifters  _ did  _ actually try to eat him alive. And now he’s glued to your hips-” at that he pointed at Andrew with a frown, “-for some reason or another. Anyone care to explain the exact circumstances of why I’ve got a kid I’ve never seen before here, in need to get patched up by Abby because shapeshifters munched on his limbs?”

In fact, no one cared to. Andrew just looked at Coach blankly, Kevin chewed on his bottom lip, and Neil stared a hole into the ground. To be fair, Andrew couldn’t really be expected to explain any of this, could he now? He was new to all of this too.

“Anyone?” Coach tried again, getting visibly frustrated with them. Neil shuffled closer to Andrew, his eyes suddenly fixed on Coach’s hands instead of the floor.

“I just wanted to help Kevin,” he said.

“Help Kevin?” Coach echoed, confused. 

“What did you want to help Kevin with, Neil?” Abby asked, distinctly more gentle than Coach. Neil threw a tense look at Kevin.

“Riko tried to kill him. I was in Kevin’s dream two nights ago and he told me about it, so I went there to stop him. At least I have a fair chance fighting him.”

It was quiet again, the hallway filled with a tense silence. Abby and Coach exchanged a quick glance. Andrew looked at Renee. The smile was gone from her face, instead it was carefully blank, her mouth a serious line. 

“So Riko did this to you?” Abby asked.

“Yes and no. I couldn’t kill him, but I managed to rip his soul from his body and into the dream world. While he was recovering from that we tried to flee and ran into-...”

“..into who, Neil?” 

Neil looked to where Kevin was again and Kevin gave him a small nod. Neil turned back to Abby and Coach.

“Into my father’s henchmen. They’ve been after me for a year now. I was in no state to fight them, but Kevin recited an exorcism. I mean, he forgot it’d affect me too, but at least it gave us a chance to get out of there before they could kill us.” 

“Your father’s henchmen?” Coach looked at Neil with his eyebrows almost all the way to his hairline.   
“My father is a highly respected demon. He has more than enough people to do the dirty work for him. I ran away last year and he tried to bring me back ever since. If he catches me, I’ll die.”

Silence. Again. Andrew clenched his teeth at the thought of Neil dying at the hands of his father and pushed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He knew, logically, he had no chance against those people who were after Neil. But he’d rather die trying than just let them take him.

“Interesting.” It was Renee’s voice that broke the silence and all eyes were on her in a second. She looked nothing like the sweet girl that she usually was. Now she resembled her old self, the girl that lived on the streets and would slit your throat without blinking an eye if you tried her. Even Andrew couldn't help the shudder it sent down his spine. “There’s just one thing I don’t understand about this story.”

“If you don’t believe me, just ask Kevin or Andrew. They were there too, you know,” Neil spat at her.

  
“Oh, yes, but since you’re a dream wanderer you might have just given them a dream or a waking hallucination. What I don’t understand is - why would you want to help Kevin? What’s your relationship?” She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and tilted her head in question. Or maybe it was a challenge. Or both.

“Kevin and I grew up together,” Neil said. Renee blinked at him.

“What?”

“My father. He’s Kengo Moriyama’s right-hand man. I grew up around Kevin and Riko. I was supposed to join the Ravens too, but Tetsuji didn’t want me on the team. He said I was an embarrassment of a demon - to which my father would wholeheartedly agree, by the way.”

“And Andrew?”

Neil looked confused at the question and turned his head to Andrew. Andrew didn’t look back, he was busy staring Renee down, trying to will her to stop talking.

“What about him?” Neil asked.

“You always stay close to Andrew instead of Kevin, even though you say Kevin is your childhood friend. Wouldn’t it be more sensible to stay with Kevin then, instead of someone you’ve just met?” Of course she’d pick up on that. Renee was one of the most clever and attentive people on the team and she didn’t trust Neil yet, it would’ve surprised him more if she would’ve let this detail slide. He gave Neil a chance to explain, but he just stared at Renee with wide eyes.

Well, fuck it. Andrew wasn’t in the mood to lie, Kevin knew about it, Renee knew he was gay and Abby and Coach woudn’t make a big deal out of it.

“We’re fucking,” Andrew said with the most casual voice he could muster. Neil sputtered next to him and turned beet red all the way up to his ears, Kevin gave the most exasperated sigh he ever heard and the other three just went perfectly still.   
“Ex-.....excuse me?” Coach took a while to recover and even now he just looked at Andrew with absolute astonishment on his face. It was almost funny.

“We’re fucking,” Andrew repeated.

“ _ Andrew _ ,” Neil hissed and shoved him, but not hard enough to actually do anything.

“I-...” Coach tried but stopped, then he just started to shake his head gently and sighed, “This is above my paygrade.”

“We- We’ve met in a dream four years ago,” Neil explained, some red specks still left on his cheekbones and Andrew felt the urge to kiss them until he turned all pink again, “We’ve met again yesterday, I didn’t know he was with Kevin.”

“Oh so you're friends, you’re not really-.....you know……….having sex,” Abby asked, gesturing vaguely with her hands and Andrew couldn’t stop the amused grin about their awkwardness spreading on his face. It widened when he saw Neil turning a little bit more pink again and pulling an embarrassed face.

“........no, we really are,” he said quietly.

“Oh.” Abby replied, turning pink now too, “Okay.”

“Well,” Renee said after clearing her throat. Her cheeks were a noticeable shade of red and she looked a bit uncomfortable. Andrew didn’t really feel bad about it. She got an answer to her question, just like she wanted. “I see both Kevin and Andrew seem to trust you. I will try my best to do so, too. I hope you can forgive me for being so rude.” For the first time since Neil stepped foot into the locker room the smile blooming on Renee’s lips looked sincere as she made a couple steps towards them, extending her hand for him. Neil looked at her in surprise, then her hand. He hesitated for a second, then took it. 

“Fantastic. Now that we all know more about Andrew’s sex life than we ever wanted to know and Renee and Neil buried the hatchet, we have one more question for you, Neil.” Coach rubbed his neck, clearly in need of a drink after this conversation. 

“Yes?” Neil asked.

“Where are you going now?”

That was a damn good question, wasn’t it?

***

“Where are you going now?” Coach Wymack asked, eyes on Neil. Neil felt his heart and his shoulders sink at the question. If only he knew. He should leave and run as far as he could. Somewhere where he’d be save from Lola and Jackson. And that as soon as possible.

But…

He didn’t want to. Not now. Not when he had Kevin and Andrew back. Not when for the first time in four years his heart wasn’t heavy and hurting with longing. He wanted to stay, but he knew he couldn’t. Even if it wasn’t for his father and his people. Where was he supposed to stay? He wasn’t one of the Foxes, and his Exy skills weren’t good enough to play in a Class I team. Especially not after he hadn’t held a racquet in a year. He couldn’t afford going to PSU as a student, and he had no training or experience to find a job. He had no other choice than to keep running, live in cars and houses he broke into and steal to eat. 

“I don’t know. I’ll probably just keep running, so my father’s people won’t find me,” he said quietly, his eyes wandering to the floor. He couldn’t look Andrew in the face as he said this. 

“Neil,” Abby’s voice was gentle when she spoke to him and Neil couldn’t not look up. She smiled at him, soft and warm, and for a second Neil thought this must be what it was like when a loving mother smiled at her child. Only she wasn’t his mother, and she only just met him. And yet she somehow smiled at him like this. 

“David and I spoke and… I could use an assistant. You seemed interested in medicine when I was treating you, so maybe, if you’d like to, you could help me? I’ve got my hands full with those reckless kids, so another set of hands could be really useful if they run themselves into the ground on Court again."

Neil stared at her and took a couple seconds to realise that she really said what she said and he wasn't imagining things. She just offered him a chance at what he wanted most: a life close to the people he cared for and a purpose. A purpose that wasn’t just killing, like his father intended for him, but quite the opposite actually. Helping people get better and heal, which Neil already tried to do in the dream world. Now he would be able to do it in the physical world as well. Except…

“I don’t really know much about this stuff,” he said, crossing his arms and digging his fingers into his arms, “I don’t think I’d be much of a help.”

“Obviously you’d be a trainee nurse,” Abby said and waved him off, “And you seem to have a solid basic knowledge, it’ll be easy to build off of that!” She seemed certain about what she said, and so sincere, it infected Neil with her optimism. Neil didn’t want to think about all the ways this could go wrong. Lola and Jackson would find him sooner or later anyway. And if they wouldn’t find him in the physical world, his father would find him in the dream world. 

There was no escape for him. He might as well enjoy his life as long as it lasted.

“Alright,” he said slowly, nodding, but he wasn't looking at Abby when he said it. He was looking at Andrew, thinking about the future he might have had if his father wasn't out to kill him. And thinking about the future he  _ will _ have, even if it was going to be a short one. It would be by Andrew's side. Andrew was watching him too, his eyes intense and his mouth twitching with unspoken words. “I’ll do it. But I need you to understand that I will die soon. I can’t escape my father, he’s too powerful.”

Abby smiled. Neil was taken aback by it, he didn’t know what about this made her smile. But she smiled. And she didn’t look afraid, not even one bit.   
“Don’t worry,” she said, “We’ll find a solution to that too.”

Neil wanted to believe her, but he knew it was just not realistic. He didn’t say it. Maybe it was better if he left them the idea that they could save him. Humans needed hope.

“Now that this is settled, I need you to go back in there and tell the others that he’s going to stay,” Coach said, pointing at Neil. “Renee? Please be the referee.” Renee smiled, nodding at him, and Wymack sighed quietly. “Abby will pick you up tonight, we have to prepare the guest room first.” Coach already turned to leave, but was stopped by Neil’s confused  _ what do you mean? _

“Well where the fuck do you think you’re staying?” Coach huffed, frowning at Neil as if he was being completely dense.

“I have an unused room in my house, you can stay there,” Abby explained, “If you’d like to, of course, since we can’t let you stay in the dorms because you’re not one of the athletes. Besides, I think it would be great to have someone around the house.”

It was a lot. Neil was still silent when they went back into the dorm room where the others were waiting. Not because he didn’t  _ want  _ to say something, he just really didn’t know  _ what _ . He was completely overwhelmed. In a matter of not even 24 hours his entire life took a sharp turn, and now he suddenly had a place to stay, a purpose and the two people he cared about most by his side. It was completely surreal.

“I see he hasn’t been taken to an asylum yet,” Allison said when they entered. 

“Allison, please,” Renee replied softly, “Neil will not be taken anywhere.”

“What do you mean he won’t be taken anywhere?” Aaron asked, sitting up and eyeing them warily, “He’s not staying. I don’t want another weirdo on the team.”

“He’s not going to be on Court with us,” Kevin said, frowning at Aaron, and Aaron already relaxed and leaned back again.

“He will be helping Abby,” Renee added with a soft smile and Aaron shot up again. Neil wondered how she could suddenly speak so fondly of him, when about an hour ago she seemed completely willing to push him into a tub filled with holy water. “So please, be nice. Neil is going to be an important addition to the team, even if he’s not on Court with us. He’ll be taking care of us.”

“He’s going to do what now?!” Aaron barked.

“Okay, Aaron, calm the fuck down,” Dan said sharply, “We might have had a weird start with him but we don’t know him. Give him a chance at least.” Aaron still didn’t seem happy, but at least he didn’t object any more. He just glared at Neil, and Neil threw a quick glance at Andrew. It was unsettling to be given such a look by someone who looked like him. Andrew just looked bored again, his hands buried deep inside his jeans’ pockets. 

“Okay so that’s all great and shit, but can we talk about how he called you a murderer before, Renee?” Allison asked.

“And an exorcist,” Nicky added. 

Renee looked at Neil. Neil looked back. 

“I’m not going to lie to them,” Renee said, “They are my friends and I want to give them honesty.”

“You haven’t told them before,” Neil tried. 

“Because they didn’t ask.” Renee smiled and shrugged.

“They’re not gonna believe you.” Neil really didn’t want to bring this up. Either they wouldn’t believe a single word they were told, which was usually how humans reacted to learning about the existence of demons, or they’d be afraid. Neil was tired of people being afraid of him. He was here to help them, to help bring them back to health when they got hurt. If they were afraid he wouldn’t be able to do that. 

“It is their own decision whether they are going to believe it or not, but it’s ours whether we will choose to lie to them or to tell them the truth.” 

Neil let his gaze wander to the group of people staring at them, all strangers to him and yet he didn’t want to lie. He needed them to trust him. But would it really be better to tell them the truth? Sometimes it was the better choice to lie to people, for their own sake. He wasn’t sure. But it wasn’t his decision anymore anyway, was it? They heard him call Renee names, and now their short conversation, they’d know if he lied to them. And Renee would probably not let him lie anyway.

Neil sighed deeply, mentally preparing himself for what was to come. 

It was tiring, explaining the same thing over and over again, especially to people who looked at him as if he was absolutely insane. At least this time Renee helped him struggle through his explanation and even Kevin would occasionally throw something in. By the end of it, they were all just silently blinking at them. Neil just wanted to go back to bed by now. He just wanted to lie down and sleep. Preferably with Andrew next to him. Curled up against Andrew’s chest and blocking out everything around them.

“Guys…” Nicky’s voice was the one to break the silence and pull Neil back from his thoughts. He looked somewhere between confused and concerned. “Have you been to Eden’s without telling us? Did you give Renee something?”

And there it was. Of course they didn’t believe a single word.

“They didn’t,” Renee said, her smile still on her face. How she did it was a mystery to Neil.  “I’m surprised you don’t believe in demons, Nicky. As someone of faith I would’ve thought you do.”

“I mean- I do,” Nicky said, vaguely gesturing with his hands, “But he doesn’t look like a demon.”

“A lot of people you’ve met were demons, you just didn’t notice,” Neil sighed, rubbing his forehead, “Most of us don’t run around with horns and tails, or whatever you expect us to look like.”

“Right, and the next thing you’re gonna tell us is angels are real, too?” Aaron asked mockingly and Neil couldn’t help rolling his eyes.

“No,” he said, “Angels aren’t a thing.”

“I disagree,” Renee interrupted and turned her gaze on Neil, “They do. I’ve seen them during my time as an active exorcist.” 

Neil pulled an annoyed face, his eyebrows furrowing into a deep frown and his mouth stretching into a thin line. He absolutely hated the word angel. 

“No. Angels don’t exist. What you have seen were demons too. Angel is just a man-made word for demons who do good deeds, invented by the church to keep pushing their agenda of villanising demons. They had to make something up to keep up the image that we’re all evil, so they gave the good ones a different name. Among demons it’s used as a slur. My father called me Angel countless times to mock me.” The word still sent a rush of anger through him. It was one of the worst things to call a demon. The church invented the concept of angels, of heaven and hell, of God and the Devil to justify their hunt on demons, because if they explained the existence of good demons by calling them God sent angels, telling the masses that demons were evil and hellish creatures by nature, they’d still be celebrated for killing them. No one would judge an exorcist for killing a demon - because demons were evil by default, right? Even if they didn’t do anything they weren’t innocent, it was just a matter of time until they turned evil. Right?

“Why do you think angels in your precious bible had shit like burning wheels floating around them and started every encounter with humans with the phrase ‘do not be afraid’? Because they’re fucking demons.”

Something on Renee’s face lit up. It looked a bit like realisation. Nicky just looked completely taken aback. The others, however, still looked like they thought Neil was absolutely fucking batshit insane.

“Alright, okay, I think that’s enough,” Dan said. She shook her head and got up from where she had been sitting on a desk, “I’m sorry, but I think you should go and see Bee if anything, not be Abby’s assistant.”   
  
“Who’s Bee?” Neil asked quietly.

“The team’s shrink,” Andrew answered. 

Neil frowned unhappily. He wasn’t going to let them take away his chance at this, just because they didn’t believe him. If that’s what they wanted, he’d make them believe.

“Andrew, could you step to the side a bit?” He asked with a casual tone in his voice. Andrew looked at him with a raised eyebrow but did as he was asked. 

He was only a half-demon. He didn’t have the same power as his father. His father could give them a hallucination all at the same time. His father could rip all of their souls to the dream world and make them believe him. Neil, however, could do that with one of them at once. And even that would be difficult, he was still exhausted from yesterday and his mental strength wasn’t at its peak. If he was a shapeshifter he could just turn in front of their eyes. But as it was, his powers weren’t as visible as some others.

But there was always his physical strength.

Neil curled his left hand into a fist, reached back and with one swift, violent blow he buried his fist in the wall. Dust and pieces of concrete crumbled to the floor as Neil pulled his hand back, shook it out and examined his knuckles. They were an angry red and slightly bruised, but nothing that wouldn’t heal soon. When he looked back at the Foxes all of them were very silent all of a sudden, realisation finally settling in their faces. In the corner of his eye he noticed Andrew tilting his head back and when he looked properly he found him with closed eyes, face angled towards the ceiling like in a silent prayer, sighing heavily.

“Neil…” He said, “Did you really have to put a hole into the wall? This is my fucking dorm.”

“I’m--” Neil stuttered, suddenly realising what he  _ did _ , looked at the hole, then at Andrew again, “I mean I had to make it clear I’m not human  _ somehow _ .” Andrew opened his eyes and turned his head to Neil, still not looking convinced or happy. 

“You’re a fucking moron,” he huffed, then pushed past Neil, to the door, and pressed the light switch.

“Andrew, what are you-”

“_His fucking_ _eyes glow_,” someone gasped.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

That would’ve been an option too.

“They don’t glow,” Neil mumbled, “They reflect the light coming through the curtains.”

“Like a fucking cat,” Andrew added as he turned the light back on, “A fucking  _ stupid  _ cat.”

The freak-out happened shortly after that, as it was to be expected. When the first shock wore off, the others started to shout over each other, so much Neil could barely make out what they were saying. But he had an idea - usually it was pretty predictable how humans would react to finding out demons existed. Panic, uncertainty and fear were the big three emotions they felt. 

To Neil’s surprise, it was Renee who stepped in. 

“Please,” she said, “I know it’s very shocking to find out demons exist. And I understand you’re frightened. But Kevin, Andrew, Coach and Abby trust him, so I think we should too.”

“I don’t know how good of an argument it is that the Monster and his buddy trust him, Renee,” Allison snarled, hard eyes snapping to Andrew and Kevin, then Neil and then back to Renee. Neil frowned when she used that name for Andrew again. Andrew didn’t seem to care though. 

“If you don’t trust Andrew and Kevin’s judgement, I’m sure you trust Abby and Coach’s. And mine.” That shut them up. Renee began to smile when everyone slowly quieted down and looked at her instead. 

But suddenly something about her smile changed. A shiver ran down Neil’s spine when she looked at him with just her eyes and that smile on her lips. “And  _ if _ that judgement turns out to be wrong, I assure you I know how to handle these situations.” She said it like she was trying to calm her friends down - but it was a warning to Neil. If he acted up and tried to hurt any of her friends, she’d put all her softness and christian piety to the side to kill him. And Neil believed she would. Good thing he didn’t plan on hurting anyone.

There was a knock on the door a second later. Abby was back to collect Neil, but she offered them more time if they needed it. 

“No, we’re good,” Andrew said, waving her off nonchalantly, “They can figure the rest out themselves. We can go.”

“We?” Abby asked, surprised but with a laugh.

“I’m not staying here with the entire team in my dorm, acting like they’ve been invited,” Andrew said, shrugging. Neil bit his lip so he wouldn’t grin and just looked at Abby, who looked amused but nodded like she was buying that excuse. 

“Alright. You could help Neil set up his new room,” she offered. Andrew snorted at that and strolled over to the door.

“Kevin, by the time I’m back they better all be out of here,” he called over his shoulder as he left the room. Kevin rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and Neil laughed quietly. 

“Neil?” Abby stood in the door still and extended her arm in invitation. Neil threw another look into the room, then raised his hand in a short wave at Kevin and turned to go to Abby. As he walked past Renee he gave her a short nod. Renee smiled at him, small but sincere. 

Abby gently placed her hand on his back to guide him out of the room, and as soon as the door closed Neil felt his shoulders relax and his stomach unknot. The hand on his back was still there, and it was a grounding weight that gave him a strange feeling of calm. 

They made it to Abby’s place in no time, Neil and Andrew in Andrew’s car, Abby in her own. The second they entered her house though, she grabbed a couple bags and informed them that she needed to go get some groceries, now that there was another person in the house.

“It might take a while,” she added with too much weight on her words. Then she held her hand out to Neil, a single key dangling off a keyring between her fingers.

“Take it,” she said with a smile, “It’s the spare key, but now it’s yours.”    
Neil did take it, though hesitant, and felt the weight and the shape in his palm. It felt heavier than it was.    
“Don’t look at me like this, you need a key, you live here now,” Abby sounded almost saddened by the confused look Neil was giving her. But it was only now that the thought really settled in his mind - Abby gave him a key, and with that the chance to a life he never thought he’d have, and a home. And it already felt more like a home than his parents’ house ever did.

“Andrew, you know where the guest room is, would you mind taking Neil up and showing him where he’ll stay?” She asked sweetly and smiled at Andrew, who shrugged in return and then jerked his head towards the stairs.    
“Let’s go,” he said to Neil and took off.

“See you later, boys!” Abby called after them. Halfway up the stairs Neil heard the front door close and just like that, they were by themselves again. 

Andrew was waiting for him by the top of the stairs. He waited until Neil was right next to him and for a few seconds they were just standing in silence, looking at each other. Neil felt something in his stomach, something that felt like excitement or anticipation, and it got more tangible with each passing second. It still felt so unreal to have Andrew back, to see him standing right next to him, to just have to bend down the few inches he had on him and he’d be able to kiss him. And Andrew would let him.

“That’s it,” Andrew said after a while and pointed at one of the doors. Neil snapped back out of his thoughts and turned his head. For some reason this door looked too heavy to open, like there was a black hole behind it that would gulp up all of what he had now, everything that he was given in the past 24 hours. Andrew let him stare for just a few seconds before he pushed past him and opened the door himself, stepped into the room and waited for Neil to follow him. There was no black hole, so Neil took some careful steps forward and stopped when he stood in the frame. 

It was nothing special. It had a bed, a wardrobe, a desk with a lamp on it and some light curtains. A big, round carpet lay on the hardwood floor and an empty shelf stood right next to the wardrobe. It looked like someone recently wiped it though, so Neil assumed it did have contents until today and had been emptied for his sake. Not that he possessed anything to put in there.

Neil loved it. It wasn’t someone else’s room he took over. It had no personality, just an empty room with some furniture - waiting to be made his. He took one slow step into the room, looking around and toying with the key in his hand, taking it all in. 

“You look like a kid on his first trip to Disneyland,” Andrew commented with a bored voice, “It’s just a room.”

“I know,” Neil said, turning his gaze on Andrew, “But I can make it mine. And it’s a home.”

Andrew stared at him blankly for a moment, then took a couple steps, closing the distance between them, and curled his hand around Neil’s, the one he held the key in, wrapping his fingers around Neil’s fist so Neil felt the key’s teeth press into his palm. His nose was just an inch from Neil’s now, their lips almost brushing, and Neil felt his breath ghost across his face as he spoke.

“You already have a home. Inside my dreams.”

Neil stopped for a second, and so did his heart, before a small smile spread across his lips and the air left his lungs in a soft laugh. Pictures popped up in front of his inner eye, pictures of their cats, of evenings spent in front of the TV, of their apartment, of home. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” he whispered. And then Andrew kissed him. It was slow and gentle at first, a ghost of brushing lips, Andrew’s hands settling on Neil’s hips. Neil curled his arms loosely around Andrew’s shoulders and leaned into the kiss until their bodies were touching, and Neil was sure Andrew would feel his beating heart against his own chest. 

Andrew’s hands were quick to wander though, and soon Neil felt them on his ass while Andrew’s lips got busy all but devouring him. It took a lot of strength to pull back the tiniest bit and breathe.

“Andrew,” Neil mumbled but was distracted by lips on his jaw. He tilted his head back and hummed softly, forgetting what he was trying to say for a minute.

“Andrew,” he tried again, a bit firmer this time, and Andrew hummed in response, “Not here. What if Abby comes back?”

“She went to go ‘grocery shopping’ because she knew we were gonna fuck, Neil,” Andrew said against the skin on his neck and Neil turned a dark shade of red when he realised he was right, “She’s not gonna be back any time soon.”

Suddenly Neil lost the ground beneath his feet and found himself in Andrew’s grip instead; he yelped and curled his arms and legs tightly around Andrew’s body.

Well, Neil wasn’t going to argue with that. He hadn’t been with Andrew in four years, he’d be damned if he let any chance to have him close slide. Especially not when his head was spinning from the kisses to his neck and the way Andrew manhandled him like it was nothing. When he ended up on his back on the bed, Neil really hoped Abby wasn’t going to be back for a while because if she did, she’d get an earful of the sounds Neil was capable of making when Andrew’s head was buried between his thighs. And no one involved wanted that to happen.

Two weeks later Neil had settled into his new life quite well already. On his second day Abby came home with a bag from a bookstore and handed it over to Neil. It was a book about alternative medicine she got for him as a present, to welcome him in his new home and to give him a start at his new profession. They had dinner together almost every evening and Abby roped him into watching her favourite Netflix shows with her. She seemed to enjoy having some company in the house, and Neil had to admit he enjoyed Abby’s presence as well. She was easygoing and kind and all she expected back was Neil giving his best as her assistant - and that he’d do happily. Andrew was allowed to come over whenever he felt like it and she always gave them privacy, but wouldn’t mind them hanging around the house with her. More often than not they ended up in the living room with her, Neil curled into Andrew’s side on the couch, watching some movie or another. At first Abby had eyed them curiously when they showed any sort of affection, but always with a soft smile on her lips. Neil figured she was happy to see Andrew relaxed and open with Neil when, with the Foxes, he was everything but. 

In return for the privacy she granted them, Neil never mentioned anything about Coach Wymack’s visits to Abby’s to anyone else. Coach Wymack preferred his private life to stay private and didn’t want the Foxes to make lewd comments or ask nosy questions about his and Abby’s relationship, so he never mentioned it to them, though he knew they weren’t dumb enough not to catch on.

“I’m keeping my nose outta their business, so I don’t want theirs in mine,” Wymack had said over dinner the first night he was to visit after Neil moved in, and Neil had just shrugged. 

And the Foxes, well, they were an interesting lot. Unmeasurably dysfunctional, to say the least. Kevin would run them into the ground on every practice, demanding too much and getting frustrated too quickly. Most of the others would pick fights with him - and each other - and there were a dozen shouting matches between them. Neil watched it all unfold from the sidelines with awe. On his first day watching their practice with Abby and Wymack, Kevin and Aaron already got into a physical fight that resulted in Kevin getting a black eye and Aaron a busted lip - which he got from Andrew, not Kevin. And if Nicky, Matt and Dan wouldn’t have pulled Andrew off his brother, he probably would’ve broken his nose too. Neil had never seen Andrew like this. 

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Neil told Kevin with an unimpressed voice as he held an ice pack to his swelling eye, “And I can’t believe you let a guy literally half your size hit you in the face. That’s ridiculous.”

“Shut up, Neil,” Kevin grumbled in response and took the ice pack from Neil’s hand.

“You know, you guys are never gonna become a better team if you don’t get along better.”

“I don’t want to get along with them, I just want them to be good players.”

“So what you want is a second Nest.”

Kevin flinched and looked at Neil with wide eyes. He knew it was a harsh thing, probably too harsh, to tell Kevin. He knew what Kevin went through - but that was exactly why he said it.

“Listen, I’m not on the team and I’m sure as fuck not going to tell you how to train them, but if you ask me, I’m seeing too much Raven and not enugh Fox in you on that Court. And I don’t like it. I’m not friends with a Raven, I’m friends with  _ Kevin _ .”

“I’m not asking you, though,” Kevin hissed, got up and left Neil behind. Neil sighed and looked after him, but Kevin vanished inside the locker room without looking back. He’d get over it.

When Neil asked Andrew about the fight later that day, as they were sitting in his room in Abby’s house, he explained his promise to Kevin to him. Neil barely managed not to laugh. 

“Drew… The Moriyamas are the most influential demonic family. I can’t believe Kevin even agreed to this. What exactly is your plan?”

“He’s desperate, he would’ve agreed to anything,” Andrew just said, shrugging, “And I’ve got my knives.” 

“Fantastic plan. How’d that work out for you so far?”

“Fine, actually,” Andrew responded.

“Yeah I could tell when you almost died on that baseball field.”

“No one is perfect.”

Neil snorted at that, shook his head and kissed Andrew. 

The Foxes slowly got used to Neil’s presence too, and they didn’t seem too freaked out about his demonic genes anymore. He didn’t know if they got to terms with it themselves or if someone helped them, but Neil didn’t care either way. He was just glad no one was making a big deal out of it and they let him do his job. 

“Hey Neil,” Matt said one day after practice, sticking his head into Abby’s office with a big smile plastered on his face, “We’re going for drinks at this bar down Perimeter Road tonight. You wanna come?” Neil had been surprised, but agreed. He found out later it was just the upperclassmen going, but he didn’t mind. They made an effort to learn more about him. Andrew wasn’t too impressed with Neil for going out with them, but Neil just shrugged off his raised eyebrow and told him he’d have to get along with everyone on the team to be their assistant nurse.

And yet, despite everything going so well, Neil had major troubles sleeping. Ever since that incident with Riko, Lola and Jackson, Neil barely managed to fall asleep, sometimes not at all. He was scared what might wait for him in the dream world. It was always fine once he did fall asleep, usually he ended up wandering the dream world or visiting Andrew’s or Kevin’s dreams and woke up the next morning, still fine and alive - though Andrew’s dreams were usually a short visit, since Andrew hadn’t learned the ability to lucid dream yet. Whenever Neil appeared in his dreams and his subconscious mind  _ realised  _ it was a dream, he woke up, and so did Neil. Kevin really had to help Andrew master the art of lucid dreaming, because that was just how it worked - if Neil was in a dream, he wouldn’t wake up in the physical world until he left the dream or the dreamer woke up themself, in which case Neil immediately woke up too. 

“Neil,” Abby said one morning, worry obvious on her face. Neil knew he looked like shit, he hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep in three days now and it was showing. “I think you should see Bee.” 

Neil remembered that name. Bee was the team’s shrink. But Neil didn’t know what he was supposed to do there.

“I’m fine,” he said, “A shrink won’t help me sleep. I’ll just take some valerian before bed tonight or something.” Abby didn’t look convinced. At all.

“I still think you should pay her a visit. Maybe talking about what keeps you awake will help.” Neil wasn’t exactly excited about the idea, but when he told Andrew about it and Andrew seconded Abby’s opinion, Neil agreed to make an appointment. That was how he ended up in a chair in Betsy Dobson’s waiting room. He didn’t have to wait long until the door opened and Bee stepped into the room. She was a small, middle-aged woman with a soft, warm smile on her round face that reminded Neil of Renee. When she spotted him she stopped short for a second, her eyes darting from his face to his hair and back, her smile faltering the tiniest bit before returning fully back to her face. Neil was confused about her reaction, but he didn’t have time to think about it.

“Neil?” She asked, and he nodded, “Come on in, please.”

A strange sense of...calm came over Neil when he stepped into her office. It was weird, and Neil didn’t like it. And then there was this faint smell in the air, of vanilla and… pine trees? Neil frowned, looking around the room for the source of the smell, but before he could find the air freshener he suspected somewhere, Bee was back in his vision, the door closed behind them.    
“Sit down,” she offered and pointed to the couch next to him. It stood opposite of an armchair and a small table with a box of tissues, a flower vase and an empty mug on top of it separating them. “Would you like a cup of hot chocolate?” Neil shook his head, so Bee took the empty mug, placed it back on the shelf next to the door and grabbed her own from her desk before sitting down in the chair. Bee’s mug had little cats on it, matching the dozen cat figurines on the shelf. Neil flinched when, for a second, he thought the figurines blinked at him in unison. Those were definitely too many cats, they were already playing tricks on his mind.

Something about Bee was unsettling Neil, but he couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was. Figuring it was just his general unease towards people who tried to get into his mind, Neil let himself sink back into the comfortable couch. She was no threat to him - other than Riko and his family, she was human. The Moriyamas were actually able to  _ control  _ his mind. Bee was just a psychiatrist, trying to  _ fix  _ it. 

He was ripped from his thoughts about the Moriyamas and the horrible things they could do to him when the smell came back to him a tad more intense than before, and all he could think of was that he really liked it. Actually, those were his favourite smells. Neil would probably eat anything that was vanilla flavoured, and the smell of pine trees always reminded him of his days as a child when he was allowed to roam and run through fields and forests, exploring the nature around him, without his parents constantly keeping an eye on him and forcing him to be something he didn’t want to be. It reminded him of freedom and peace. Without realising it, Neil relaxed. The tension from his shoulders melted away and his breath came easier.

“So, Neil, I’m Betsy Dobson, but you can call me whatever you’d like. Betsy, Bee, Ms Dobson, Doc - I’m fine with anything. Is it okay to call you Neil?” He nodded again and Bee returned the gesture, satisfied with his answer.

“Why are you here today?”

“Because Abby and Andrew asked me to come,” Neil replied flatly, examining the cat hairs on her jeans instead of her face. Bee wasn’t shaken by his response and made a thoughtful noise instead.

“And why do you think they asked you to come and see me?”

“Because I have troubles sleeping.”

“Why’s that?”

It felt easy to talk to Bee. Something about her, about the calm and kindness she emitted, about her voice, about the way her office was set up, made it easy to open up to her. It was like suddenly he  _ wanted  _ to tell a complete stranger about his fears.

Of course Neil kept it on a level that wasn’t dangerous. He didn’t give her too much - though, to be honest, usually anything was too much for Neil. When he left her office an hour later and stood in front of the building, waiting for Andrew to pick him up, he silently wondered what it was that drove him to talking so much. 

“I really need some sleep,” Neil mumbled to himself and shook his head with a sigh. 

He did sleep better that night, though. It felt like his mind, his racing thoughts and his deeply rooted fear of what he might find in his dreams were more at ease. A group of at least ten cats were in his dream that night, all black as the night. He lay in a grassy field and let them climb over his body, curl up on his chest and calm his heart. Their purrs sounded like a promise to keep him save, and Neil smiled to himself about the wonderful absurdity of the dream world.

***

Andrew wondered how things had turned so fast and so much after Neil’s arrival, but somehow he ended up in the girls’ dorm for a movie night. Apparently Neil got along well with the upperclassmen and now he was of the opinion that if  _ he  _ was invited to a movie night, Andrew should join them as well. How he convinced them it was a good idea to have Andrew over too, he didn’t know. He knew even less how Neil convinced them to have all of the Monsters over. But Kevin was perched on the sofa next to Andrew, Aaron sat on a pillow on the ground and Nicky was sharing a blanket with Renee. He was less surprised Aaron and Nicky agreed to this, since they both seemed to jump on any chance to socialise with other people outside their group. Kevin had been more hesitant but Neil bugged him long enough until he left his Exy recordings and followed them to the dorm next door. The promise of alcohol had helped. 

Neil sat a few inches to Andrew’s left, since their relationship wasn’t official and no one but Coach, Abby, Kevin and Renee knew about it. Andrew didn’t want anyone to put their nose into his business. He also hadn’t figured out how to fit it into his deal with Aaron, since technically Neil would violate their “no girls”-agreement too, but Andrew didn’t want this Cheerleader near his brother. He’d have to figure something out for that. 

“It’s nice to have everyone over,” Dan said, placing two bowls of snacks where everyone could reach them, and her eyes carefully wandered over to where Andrew was sitting and stayed there for a while before quickly snapping to the others as well, “Feels like actual team bonding. I think we could use that.” Kevin, to Andrew’s right, made a little dismissive sound. Neil, to his left, reached behind Andrew to hit him against his head. Kevin immediately turned to glare at Neil and reached for him, but Andrew slapped his arm away and turned a bored gaze at him.

“He hit me,” Kevin said, offended.

“So?” Andrew asked and reached for the can of beer Matt had offered him earlier.

“You’re biased,” Kevin huffed and Andrew answered with a stare that was enough to shut him up. He could basically feel Neil grinning at Kevin so he gave him a warning stare too. For good measure. The room was silent for a couple seconds, everyone watching their interaction go down. Aaron and Nicky were used to this by now, Renee knew about Andrew and Neil, but the others seemed a bit taken aback.

“It looks a bit like you’re watching two toddlers, Andrew,” Matt said with a little grin.

“That’s what it feels like,” Andrew responded dryly and, to his surprise, Matt laughed. 

“Anyway,” Allison waved one hand around and reached for the remote. She had shot down any other movie suggestions but her own, so now they’d watch Legally Blonde. Andrew would never admit it, but it wasn’t the first time he watched this movie. Or the second.

“Let’s start the movie,” she said and pressed play without waiting for anyone’s agreement. 

Now that it was dark and the movie was playing, it was easier to pretend he wasn’t surrounded by his entire team, even though he didn’t mind it as much as he thought he would. It helped that Andrew enjoyed this movie, and so did everyone else if the eager silence was anything to go by.

Or, maybe, they just fell asleep. Like Neil. Not even half an hour into the movie Andrew felt his leg press up against his own and at first he thought Neil was trying to get cosy in the dark. But when he looked at him he saw Neil’s head resting against the back of the sofa, his chest rising and falling slowly and his eyes shut tightly. Andrew didn’t know if he just found the movie boring or if it was exhaustion, but either way Andrew let him sleep. Neil still had trouble sleeping, so it was good he got some rest at some point, even if it was during movie night. And even if he had been the one to drag Andrew here. Neil’s leg against his was a calm, steady pressure and where they touched his skin felt warm underneath his jeans. Sometimes it still didn’t feel real, sometimes he still woke up in his dorm bed alone and thought he dreamed it all up again, but then he’d look at his phone and find a text from Neil, or he’d see him a couple hours later and he realised this time it was real, it had always been real but he just didn’t know. 

Towards the end of the movie Neil started to get a little restless, his leg twitching against Andrew’s, his breath hitching every now and then and his head turning from one side to the other, but he didn’t wake up. Even when Renee turned the light back on Neil just twitched, but stayed asleep. Andrew wondered what he was dreaming. 

  
“Oh,” Dan made when she saw Neil’s sleeping form on the sofa, “I guess he didn’t like the movie.”

“Maybe he was just exhausted,” Renee offered with a kind smile, “Let’s leave him. He probably needs the rest if he fell asleep like this.” The position he was lying in really didn’t look very comfortable Andrew realised, so Renee was probably right.

“Yeah, he can stay over,” Allison agreed, though she made a dismissive hand gesture to make it look more nonchalant and less caring. Renee offered to text Abby and let her know that Neil would not be coming home for the night while Dan went to the bedroom to fetch a spare blanket for Neil. Andrew got up from his seat silently, resisting the urge to push the curls from Neil’s face or smooth out the frown between his eyebrows with a thumb. With everyone’s attention on Neil that wouldn’t be a good idea. 

Renee saw them all out and thanked them for coming over for the movie, and offered to repeat it some time soon. Andrew huffed, Kevin and Aaron shrugged and Nicky answered with an enthusiastic nod. 

“We’ll make sure Neil will be comfortable,” she said with a smile to all of them, but Andrew knew it was meant for him. He just looked at her blankly. “Good night, boys.”

“Night, Renee,” Nicky said and waved at her happily. 

The door closed and the Monsters made their short way back to their own dorm, and during those 30 seconds it took them Nicky chatted away in lightning speed about what a nice evening it had been and how they should definitely do it again soon. 

“Shut the fuck up, Nicky,” Andrew said, annoyed, when he unlocked the door and pushed it open. Without waiting for the others he went straight to the bedroom and started to get ready for bed, tired from sitting in the dark for so long. Even though it really hadn’t been as bad as anticipated, he was exhausted. He preferred to have the few people he was comfortable with around himself.

Ten minutes later there was a noise. It was voices, Andrew realised, and put the cup of water he had poured himself just now down. They were coming through the thin dorm walls and belonged to the other Foxes who were still next door. They sounded frantic.

“What’s going on over there?” Kevin asked from the kitchen door and Andrew shrugged. How would he know? Nicky was already opening the dorm’s door to step out into the hallway when Andrew heard a door bang and suddenly the voices got louder.

“Shit, Matt, what’s going on?!” Andrew heard Nicky yelp. Andrew’s heart skipped a beat, his mind immediately providing him with all the things that could go wrong over there with Neil in the dorm. By the time he made it to where Kevin was, Matt was already halfway inside their dorm. He looked panicked and confused.

“I- I don’t know,” he stammered, “Neil won’t wake up, no matter what we do. Kevin, you know what to do, right? Please tell me you know what to do.”

Kevin frowned. Andrew felt his hammering heart slow down. Was that all they were getting so agitated about?

“Just leave him,” Kevin said, “He might be in someone’s dream or something. He probably won’t wake up before he leaves the dream or the dreamer wakes up. Sometimes dream wanderers get stuck in dreams, it’s fine.”

“But--” Matt, not reassured whatsoever, didn’t get any further than that before Neil’s voice filled the air with a bloodcurdling shout. It was loud enough for every word to be clearly audible even in the Monsters’ kitchen.

“ _ GET AWAY FROM ME! _ ”

Andrew’s heart stopped. His blood froze in his veins. This wasn’t right. 

Kevin and Andrew sprung into action in the same second, both running out of the dorm, pushing past Matt and Nicky. They made it into the hallway just in time to see Neil stumbling out of the girls’ dorm, his face a scared grimace, eyes wide and haunted. His shirt had a big wet, red spot right on his shoulder, blood ran down his temple and from his mouth. Andrew had never seen anything worse in his life.

He whispered Andrew’s name, scared and breathless, and stumbled through the hallway on unsteady legs until he fell into Andrew’s arms, hanging onto him with his entire weight. Neil was heavy in his arms, but Andrew didn’t feel any of it when he heard Neil’s voice, raw and terrified, speak the words Andrew never wanted to hear.

“He found me,” he whimpered into Andrew’s chest, his voice as unstable as his legs, “He found me. My father found me.”


	4. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nathan found Neil. It's a hopeless situation. But those who grew up in hopelessness refuse to give up because of it - and Neil learns what people who care about him are willing to do to keep him save.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter!  
Let the drama begin lmao

Neil had been so happy to convince all of Andrew’s lot to join them for movie night. It was a good opportunity for the Foxes to actually bond as a team, and maybe they’d start to get along better. He knew it was mostly Andrew who kept the team from actually  _ being  _ a team, so convincing him was the biggest feat. He didn’t plan on falling asleep, actually he hoped that after the movie they could stay over for a little longer, talk and drink and maybe enjoy it and do it again some day. But the second the lights turned dark Neil felt the exhaustion from his sleepless nights coming over him and making his eyes heavy. He did everything to stay awake, but felt sleep creeping onto him. Maybe he could just take a quick nap. Maybe after the movie Andrew would wake him up and tell him he was an idiot for falling asleep when he was the one dragging him here, and they could laugh it off and still stay here some more. So Neil let it take over, his eyes almost closing on their own accord, his body relaxing into the couch he was sitting on and his thigh falling against Andrew’s.

And as his mind slowly drifted off to sleep and his soul began to change over into the dream world, a cold shudder ran through Neil’s entire body when an icy blue filled his vision and a dark, cold voice whispered: 

_ “Come, come, Junior, the daylight has died, come and play with Daddy at night.” _

Neil opened his eyes. Everything was dark. Black. The ground, everything around him, he wasn’t even entirely sure there  _ was  _ a ground he was standing on. And in the midst of the infinite darkness, right in front of him: Ice cold blue eyes like his. Auburn curls like his, though combed into a neater hairstyle than his own. A mocking, cold smile baring white teeth, lips parted just enough for two sharp fangs to flash at him. 

“Junior.” Nathan Wesninski made a step closer to Neil, opening his arms in fake invitation, “I’ve been looking for you for so long. Come and say hello to your father.”

“No,” Neil’s voice was shaking. This was his worst nightmare. The reason he couldn’t sleep. This was exactly what he feared would happen. His father found him. And now he’d kill him. 

“Let me go,” Neil begged in hopeless desperation, “I’m no burden to you. I’m not getting in your way. Just let me go.” Nathan laughed and threw his hands up in an exaggerated shrug.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Junior,” he said, his smile widening, making him look even more like a hungry, wild animal, “You could’ve had such a bright future, the King would have considered you as an addition to his royal legion, like me, even though you’re just a half-breed, if you just would’ve put _ some  _ effort into it. But instead you decided to kick this privilege with your feet and run away like a coward.” Nathan stopped for a second, looking down on his son with nothing but disgust and disappointment in his eyes. It was the only way he had ever looked at Neil. “So now you must die.”

Nathan didn’t move, but Neil felt a hit to his stomach, like a battering ram was trying to pierce through his body. It drew a strangled gasp from Neil, stealing his air and leaving him tumbling down to his knees, wheezing.

“That’s better,” Nathan said, closing the distance between them and kicking Neil hard enough for him to fall over completely, “Go to your knees, show some respect to your father like the disgrace you are.” Neil curled up in pain, wrapping his arms tightly around his aching stomach, but Nathan was far from done with him. This was his realm, the dream world, his kingdom. The mightiest dream wanderer, the King’s right-hand man but the only King in this world. From the darkness two shapeless creatures were born, dream figures shaped at Nathan’s will. They growled and hissed, gurgling sounds leaving their throats that had Neil feeling sick with fear. They shot forward so fast, Neil’s eyes were barely able to register it before one bit into his shoulder with sharp teeth, burying them in his flesh and drawing blood, making him scream in agony. Neil tried to fight it off, but the creature just bit harder, anchoring its teeth into his shoulder. This was how Nathan worked. In the dream world anything was possible for him, and it was easy for him to hurt, torture and kill. Neil knew his physical body would carry the same wounds as his soul in the dream world but there’d be no fight there. It was convenient, wasn’t it? For a killer to be able to kill his victims without leaving any traces but physical wounds behind in the physical world. No break-ins, no evidence, just a dead body, sometimes bruised, sometimes killed through methods that wouldn’t even leave behind any marks or blood. There was a reason he was the King’s right-hand man, responsible to dispose of anyone who’d get in his way. Nathan was one of the mightiest demons alive, and he was the perfect killer. 

The other creature leapt at Neil too now and snapped its teeth at him, but Neil managed to kick this one off just in time. Nathan was standing by, watching his son struggle and fight, laughing at the show he was presented with. He seemed to take great joy from this, which didn’t surprise Neil. 

He had to focus - which was hard with sharp fangs buried in his flesh, seemingly trying to rip off his arm, but Neil managed to focus enough to form a dream creature himself. It was pathetic, really. Small and unsteady on its feet at first, nothing compared to what it was supposed to fight. Like a metaphor for Neil’s powers compared to Nathan’s. 

His creature swooped down on Nathan’s, and Nathan’s creature had no other choice but to let go of Neil to defend itself. It managed to kill Neil’s creature in no time at all, biting through its neck with next to no effort, the creature vanishing into the black nothingness with one last, shrill scream, but it bought Neil enough time to struggle up on his feet and bring some distance between himself and Nathan.    
“Nice try,” Nathan grinned. A second later the creature leapt back at Neil. Neil knew he didn’t stand a chance, there was nowhere to run. He tried to escape the dream, to make himself wake up, but to no avail. With a rush of terror in his veins he realised Nathan had trapped his soul in this dream, and there was no way for him to wake up by himself. This was where he would die. Neil felt hot tears burn behind his eyes and the first one found its way down his cheek. He threw his hands up against his face, pressing the balls of his hands into his eyes, pulling on the curls hanging into his face.

“Wake up, wake up,” he told himself, desperate, “I don’t want to die, please, just  _ wake up _ !”

A growl. A screech.

“What the fuck?!” Nathan’s confused voice echoed through the air. Neil dropped his hands and blinked his eyes open - and didn’t understand what he saw.  _ Something  _ was literally ripping Nathan’s dream creatures to shreds. It was black, so Neil could barely make out its shape in the darkness, but when he looked hard enough it vaguely resembled a cat, maybe a panther, but it was significantly bigger than that. If Neil would be to stand next to it, it would probably reach up all the way to his shoulders. Its eyes were the only speck of colour with their glowing red. It didn’t seem to have a solid body, as it looked like its fur, or its body, was melting and dripping onto the ground. It looked like something straight from the forbidden place - or, what humans would call it, hell.

Nathan’s first creature was gone, the second gave a last, eardrum-shattering scream before the cat-like creature ripped its shapeless body apart. Then the cat’s gaze wandered to where Nathan stood. It bared big, sharp teeth, an angry growl leaving its throat as it made slow, threatening steps towards him. Nathan didn’t budge, but for the first time in his life Neil saw something like uncertainty flicker up on his face. This wasn’t part of Nathan’s plan. But it wasn’t part of Neil’s either. 

Either way, it was his chance to escape. There was no use in running, one doesn’t outrun Nathan Wesninski in the dream world. Especially not in a dream he made. He  _ had  _ to wake up, it was his only chance. Neil tried hurting himself, pinching his arm hard enough to bruise, pulling his hair until some ripped out, but nothing did the job. He tried to talk to himself long enough to make his soul return to his body, tried to recite exorcisms that hurt his head but were meant to break a demonic barrier - nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing everywhere. Just darkness and the sounds of the cat-like creature fighting Nathan. And the way it was looking Nathan was about to win. Of course he was. He was able to form creature after creature and his strength was a bottomless pit in the dream world. It was only a matter of time until the forbidden creature would be dead too. 

With a grip so brutal his knuckles turned white, Nathan wrapped his fingers around the cat’s neck, avoiding its teeth with ease, lifted it off the ground and hurled it back down. It crashed into the ground and scrambled back up, but Nathan already ran ahead, right at Neil. Neil ran. It was useless, but it was a reflex and he wouldn’t just stand and let Nathan get him without at least  _ trying _ to escape. A hand on his injured shoulder grabbed him hard and Neil howled as he fell. Nathan was on top of him a second later, pinning him to the ground with the hand on his shoulder, his face livid. He raised his other hand, curled it into a fist and hit Neil right in the temple. He felt warm blood running down the side of his face and his head started to spin. At least he got that. The king of the dream world had to resort to physical violence to kill him, because this cat-creature ruined all other plans. Right now it was fighting two new dream creatures Nathan created. It fought hard, trying to get to Neil, and Neil couldn’t help but smile. He didn’t know why this creature was here, but it was trying to help him, and he was thankful for that. 

Nathan hit him again.

“I don’t think it’s time for you to smile,” he growled and a shattering pain exploded through Neil’s mouth as Nathan’s fist crashed into it, splitting his lip and breaking some of the skin inside his mouth. Neil curled his hands around Nathan’s wrist in an attempt to stop him, but Nathan was stronger and Neil’s right arm was weak. He was pretty sure that dream creature bit through something important in his shoulder, since moving it was hard and slow. When Nathan raised his hand again for the next hit, Neil spat a mixture of blood and saliva into his face and Nathan stopped for a second, taken back by Neil’s audacity. 

“You fucking litte--” Nathan growled and his fist rushed down towards Neil’s face. Neil tried to stop it with all of his strength.

“ _ GET AWAY FROM ME! _ ” He screamed.

Suddenly his face burned, it felt like acid on his skin, burning into his flesh and making him scream in agony. And then Neil took a sudden, deep breath like his lungs suddenly unlocked, his body arching off the surface he was lying on, the darkness replaced with blindingly bright light. Neil threw his hands up into his face and tried to wipe the acid off his skin, rolled to his side when suddenly his body felt light with the weight of his father gone. But as he turned the ground underneath him vanished and he fell. It was a short fall before his body hit the ground again - and that was when Neil realised he fell off the couch he had been sleeping on. The light wasn’t that blinding, his eyes just weren’t used to it after sleeping.

He woke up.

Neil scrambled up to sit, still panicked, pressing his back against the couch. There were faces but his mind was still too hazy to recognise them, voices talking to him, too many, too loud, he didn’t hear what they were saying, it was too much,  _ too much _ , he needed to get away. So he pushed himself up, stumbled over his own feet and just  _ ran _ . He ran into at least two people and a chair, then fell against the doorframe with his injured shoulder and gasped out in pain before falling out of the door, barely holding onto the frame instead of tumbling to the ground again. And then he saw one face he’d recognise anywhere.

“Andrew,” he breathed, his voice shaking and weak, “ _ Andrew. _ ” He ran towards Andrew, desperate and scared. What if he didn’t wake up and his father just gave him another dream? What if Andrew would vanish any second?   
But he didn’t, and Neil made it over to him, throwing himself into his arms and holding onto him for dear life. His entire body was shaking like a leaf, his arms were barely able to wrap around Andrew’s neck tightly enough to hold him up, because his legs did a shit job of that. If it wasn’t for Andrew instinctively wrapping his arms around Neil’s body, he’d probably fall again. Wrapped in Andrew’s tight embrace Neil finally felt  _ save  _ again. 

  
  


***

Neil’s father found him. He hurt him. He tried to kill him. He tried to take Neil away from Andrew. And Andrew wasn’t able to do anything about it, because he didn’t do it here, in the physical world. He tried to kill Neil in his dream. The dream Neil had when he fell asleep right next to Andrew. 

The thought settled heavy in Andrew’s chest, a realisation he should’ve had before, but never did and never wanted; that one day, maybe not tomorrow, maybe not next week, maybe not next year, but one day - he might wake up next to Neil, bloody and dead, silently killed in his dream. It was the most terrifying thought Andrew had had in years. And the worst part was: there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. 

Neil’s blood seeped into Andrew’s shirt and stuck to his skin, a cruel reminder of the present. A cold shudder ran down Andrew’s back. He looked at Kevin who was still standing next to him and hoped he’d give him something, anything, how they could stop this. Hoped Kevin would say it would all be fine, he had a plan, but he just stood frozen in shock, staring at Neil with wide, terrified eyes, and the last glimmer of hope inside Andrew died.

Andrew’s attention was pulled back to Neil when suddenly the body in his arms collapsed, Neil’s legs giving out completely, and Andrew just so managed to wrap his arms around him firmer so he wouldn’t fall. He pulled Neil up and pressed his body against his own.

“Calm down, Neil,” he said, thankful his voice didn’t give away any of the pure fear inside his chest, “Someone call Abby, for fuck’s sake!” Everyone just stood and stared and Andrew wanted to punch them in the face for not doing anything, but when he barked the command at them Allison was the first to find her mobile phone and call Abby for help. While the others snapped back into action, running into their dorms and finding all first aid kids they could, Andrew dragged Neil’s limp body into his own dorm.

“Here, sit,” he maneuvered Neil onto the couch but Neil’s fingers in his shirt, holding onto him with an iron strength that only the desperate and scared could muster, kept him from moving too far away.

“Don’t go,” Neil begged quietly. Hearing him like this was like a stab to Andrew’s chest. This wasn’t the Neil he knew. This was a terrified soul, clinging to its only source of hope and security with all it had.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, “But you’ll have to let go of me so I can sit down with you.” Reluctantly Neil let go and Andrew took a step back, eyeing Neil from head to toe for a second before sitting down. It was even worse than he realised on first glance. The red spot on his shoulder still grew, meaning he was still bleeding underneath his shirt. Andrew hoped Abby would be here quickly. 

The second Andrew sat down Neil scrambled closer and dug his shaking fingers into the cotton of his shirt, balling them into fists around the fabric. He held onto him as if he believed Andrew could protect him from the threat that was on his heels. 

Someone stepped into their space, reminding Andrew that they weren’t alone. Yet again the entire team was assembled in his dorm, watching Andrew and Neil with something between confusion and concern, their voices hushed but agitated. 

“Let me-...” It was Aaron who came up to them, a first aid kit in his hands and another one tucked under his arm, “We need to stop the bleeding at least.” His face was a wild mix of emotions, probably not sure what he felt himself, but the instinct of a pre-med student kicked in and pushed away anything else he might feel or think. Neil eyed him for a few seconds, then seemed to decide to trust Aaron and started to take off his shirt, so he would have access to his shoulder. He tried, at least, then winced and jerked his arm back down, pressing the other hand to his shoulder and hissing in pain. It was impossible to sit and watch, so Andrew decided to help him. However, with Neil almost unable to lift his arm, trying to get it off him the regular way would be hopeless. Andrew wouldn’t hurt Neil more than he was already hurting anyway just to get this damned shirt off him, or spend hours on peeling it off with careful fingers. It might be a bit crude, but he decided to resort to more violent solutions instead. Like curling his fingers tightly into the fabric of Neil’s shirt and ripping it open by the seams with a sharp tug, exposing the skin underneath.

And the injuries.

Andrew felt sick when he saw the extent of it. It looked like something tried to take off Neil’s entire arm and ripped out a piece of flesh in the process. Even Aaron winced and turned pale when he caught sight of it, but he pressed his lips into a thin line, putting up a facade of bravery and professionalism, and opened the first aid kit. Even though his face said he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to bandage something like this with the few things he had.

“How the fuck can this even just…….appear? Out of nowhere?” Aaron asked through gritted teeth as he ripped open a gauze pad and tried to find the right angle to put it on Neil’s shoulder. Neil didn’t respond. Aaron didn’t seem to expect him to. He was focused on his task of patching Neil up when Renee approached them slowly. 

***

Neil’s entire arm felt like it was burning. Now that the initial shock settled down he felt the pain going from his shoulder all the way through his arm to his fingertips and he could barely move it anymore, let alone take off his shirt without feeling like he might pass out from the pain. Andrew’s solution for that was efficient, granted, but also a bit rude. 

Neil had his eyes on Aaron, who was trying his best to patch him up, when Renee approached them. She went down onto her knees right in front of him, Neil’s eyes flicking from Aaron’s fingers working on his shoulder to her face instead, and she cupped his uninjured hand between her palms. It was a soothing gesture, but weird coming from her. Granted, during the time Neil had spent with the Foxes up to now they hadn’t argued and neither had tried to kill the other, but they weren’t exactly close. Neil didn’t trust her completely yet. Neither did she, probably. It was just in their nature. But right now he couldn’t see any malice in her actions, just compassion.

“I’m sorry for putting you through additional pain, but it was the last thing I could think of,” she said. Neil frowned. He had no idea what she was talking about. 

“When we couldn’t wake you up I tried a light exorcism, but it didn’t work either, so I had to resort to holy water instead. I sprayed some onto your face in hopes the pain would bring your soul back to the physical world and it might break whatever ban was put on you. I know it burns your skin, so I wanted to apologise,” she said and squeezed his hand gently. Neil looked at their joined hands, remembering the sudden pain in his face that had ripped him from his dream. The thought that it was Renee who saved him from certain death had Neil momentarily distracted from the pain in his shoulder until another pang ran through his entire arm, making him wince. 

“No,” he shook his head, “Thank you. You saved my life.”

Renee smiled a gentle but amused smile.   
“How fast things can change, huh?” She said and squeezed his hand again.

“Yeah,” Neil agreed. 

“God, Neil, what happened?!” Abby stood in the door, wearing her pajamas, hair in a messy bun and her heavy emergency bag slung over her shoulder, eyes wide as she looked at Neil. The rush of relief he felt when he spotted her was foreign to Neil and he didn’t know what to do with it, so he pushed it to the side as much as he could. It was replaced with cold dread instead when he thought about what had happened.

“My father found me in the dream world and tried to kill me,” he said quietly.

“Good Lord,” Abby mumbled and rushed over to the sofa. 

“Thank you, Aaron, I will take over,” she said gently. Finally her usual calm seemed to come back and by the time she was kneeling in front of Neil and rummaging through her bag she had the usual composure of a doctor treating a badly hurt patient. She couldn’t afford freaking out over injuries. 

“Dream creature,” Neil said before she could ask, “Tried to bite my arm off, I guess.”

“Bastard,” Abby hissed under her breath. She went to work, though she looked quite uncertain. This wasn’t exactly an injury that should be treated on the sofa of a dorm room, but they didn’t have much choice, did they? Treating demons was still frowned upon, even though it wasn’t technically illegal anymore like it used to be back in the days. But as with most things in american society, the church’s influence had yet to leave hospitals completely and most refused to treat demons. If they did, it was usually in the dark behind everyone’s backs. 

  
“Your arm should be fine,” Abby said eventually, “It doesn’t look like anything was damaged beyond repair. It’s gonna take some time to heal and it’ll hurt for a while, but with the right care and exercises it should go back to normal.”

Well, at least that. Neil felt a little flash of relief wash over him and tried to distract himself from the pain of Abby working on his shoulder by looking around the room. Dan and Matt looked equally worried still, Allison had a frown on her face that was somewhere between thoughtful and concerned. Nicky’s cheeks were wet with drying tears. Aaron’s hands and shirt were covered in blood, his face pulled into something that looked almost distraught. Neil felt bad for putting them into this situation.

“Well,” Allison shifted her weight from one foot to the other, crossed her arms in front of her chest and the frown on her face evened out, the corner of her mouth twitching up into a gleeful half-smirk. The sudden change of emotion was a surprise for an entire second. 

“At least now we know why that fucker-” she pointed at Andrew with one perfectly manicured finger “-was so adamant about keeping you here. He wanted to keep his boyfriend.”

Oh, shit. In the haze of panic he had just wanted to be with Andrew and didn’t even  _ think  _ about how their relationship was sort of a secret. Quickly he threw a glance at Andrew, expecting him to be angry or embarrassed, but to Neil’s surprise he looked entirely untouched.

“Wait-- What?” Nicky stuttered, looking from Allison to Andrew and Neil, as if he was waiting for them to deny it. Aaron pulled a face, but other than Nicky he seemed to have caught onto the obvious just like Allison.

“Boyf- Oh my God,” Dan apparently lost control over her facial expression, meanwhile Matt just blinked at them. 

“I was a little confused about him and his lot joining us for movie night just because Neil asked,” Allison said, “Now it makes sense, though. His honeybunch batted his eyelashes at him and he said yes.”

“Shut u-ouch, shit,” the attempt to shut Allison up was interrupted by a pained hiss when Abby started to stitch Neil’s shoulder back together - with barely some numbing gel on his skin that didn’t do shit to block out the pain.

“Sorry,” Abby apologised, “I’m gonna be quick.”

“Am I wrong?” Allison asked, grin on her face. Both Neil and Andrew stayed quiet and Allison raised her hands in a shrug that said ‘told you so’.

“It’s no one’s but Andrew’s and Neil’s business,” Renee tried calmly.

“You knew about this?!” Dan asked immediately, not fooled by Renee’s attempt to get them off the topic, and Renee just smiled at her apologetically.

“Either way,” it was the first time Kevin said anything since Neil woke up. The shock was almost gone and his face was schooled back into its usual cool expression. It was probably just a facade, but Kevin had a lot of practice at hiding his emotions. “I think the bigger problem here is that Neil  _ almost died tonight _ .”

“Kevin is right,” Renee agreed, “We have to find a way to keep him save.” Neil snorted wryly and lowered his eyes to the ground. There was nothing they could do.

“They don’t call my father King of the dream world for nothing. He’s the most powerful dream wanderer. There’s nothing to hold him back in the dream world, and he will come back for me because I’m the thorn in his side.” A glum silence settled over the room, the only thing breaking it were Neil’s occasional hisses and groans.

“What about all this magic stuff? There has to be something you can do with that,” Allison said eventually, vaguely waving her hand around when she said ‘magic stuff’.

“It’s not ‘magic’,” Neil said, “And there’s nothing you can do in the physical world to stop him in the dream world. The only place you can stop him is inside this universe, and I’m not even remotely powerful enough to stop him, as you can tell from the state of my shoulder.”

“Don't you know any other powerful dream wanderers?” Matt suggested. Neil shrugged.

“Yeah, but they’re all my father’s people.”

“Shit,” Matt mumbled.

“I guess the only thing I can do is just not sleep,” Neil said eventually, a grim smile on his lips. It wasn’t like he’d be able to sleep now anyway. 

“That’s not very healthy,” Abby chided.

“Neither is this,” Neil said, pointing at his shoulder, “Or dying, for that matter.”

“What if you come into one of our dreams?” It was Andrew who suggested it, the first thing he said since he helped Neil out of his shirt. “Can’t trap you in another dream if you’re already in one.” Neil looked at him, then sighed.   
“I wish it was that easy,” he said quietly, “He’ll just come into your dreams and kill you too. It would probably give him the greatest satisfaction to kill not just me but the people close to me as well.” Neil was glad, Nathan hadn’t figured out that the Foxes were Neil’s friends. Otherwise he’d probably seek out every single one of them and kill them too, just to hurt Neil before he’d take his life eventually.

“There, done,” Abby said. Neil looked and there was a thick bandage on his shoulder, covering the injury. “It should heal just fine. We have to change the bandage regularly, of course, and you have to keep the arm as still as possible.”

“Maybe we should just let it get infected, it would drive my father insane if he wouldn’t get to kill me with his own hands because I died of an infection,” Neil said casually and immediately regretted it when several pairs of eyes threw angry daggers at him. It wasn’t like he  _ meant _ it. Well, maybe a bit.

“Don’t you ever say something like that again, young man,” Abby chided him angrily.

“Shut the fuck up, Neil,” Andrew spat.

With a heavy sigh Abby got up on her feet, shook her head and threw Neil another glare before fishing for her phone in her bag.

“I have to make a call, I’ll be back in a minute,” she said and started towards the door.

“We’ll find a way,” Renee promised when Abby left, “Maybe I can ask some old contacts. Someone has to know something.”

“Ask them about Andras,” Neil said, tilting his head towards Renee with an unimpressed expression. Renee stopped dead and stared at him, as expected. Any exorcist would make that face upon hearing this name.

“Your father is--”

“Andras. Yes. The Grand Duke of ‘hell’ - which isn’t a thing, really, by the way - who teaches those who summon him the best and most gruesome ways to kill. He goes by Nathan in the human realm, though. Do you understand now why I say it’s impossible to stop him?”

Renee stared at him with her lips slightly parted in shock. The others didn’t really understand, of course, but they grasped how serious the situation was by Renee’s response.

“There’s barely anyone more powerful than him but the devil himself,” Renee mumbled.

“Kengo Moriyama, you mean.”

“Wait, are you telling us Riko’s father is the fucking devil?!” Allison interjected, throwing her hands up in exasperation, “Of fucking course he’s the devil, what else.”

“Well, humans call him the devil. We just call him King. He’s the most powerful demon alive and made himself ruler of all demons. Which you  _ can _ do if you're able to kill anyone who objects. And he assembles those who are the strongest of their kinds under him as his subordinates, such as my father. But there’s thousands of demons who turned their backs on him and decided to live in peace among humans, some of them very powerful demons as well. However, I’ve never met any of these, since I grew up among those that follow the Moriyamas.”

The Foxes looked at each other with growing helplessness. Neil appreciated that they wanted to help him, he really did, but there was just no way. His days were numbered, and it wasn’t a very high number. It was however many days he’d manage to stay awake. And considering how tired he already was from the sleep he lost in the past few days and weeks, that probably wasn’t a lot either. It was a sobering thought, but somehow Neil didn’t feel much about it. His imminent death wasn’t news. He always knew he wouldn’t live to see adulthood. He was already alive longer than he expected. The only things he was grieving for were his new found friends, Kevin and Andrew. It would’ve been better if he died before he met them, before he found Andrew and Kevin again. Andrew would’ve lived thinking Neil was nothing but a dream and found someone else, and Kevin would have stayed in the dark about whether Neil was still alive or not. There would have been hope left for him, at least, that his childhood friend was still alive and kicking somewhere. 

Kevin sighed, shaky and desperate, and ran a hand across his face. He was giving up hope. Good. Keeping up the thought that they could save Neil if they just tried hard enough would only result in disappointment and hurt. Neil averted his eyes from Kevin, because it hurt seeing him giving up on Neil, even though he knew it was for the better. As he turned his head he was met with Aaron’s eyes, hard and angry, staring right at Neil. With crossed arms and tight shoulders he stood across the room. Neil returned the look with tired eyes. The blame in Aaron’s eyes should make him mad, but honestly, he couldn’t hold it against him. Neil had come here out of pure selfishness, because he  _ wanted  _ to stay, because he  _ wanted  _ to be with Andrew, because he  _ wanted  _ to get to know the Foxes and make friends for the first time in his life - despite the fact that he knew he might die any time and he might get them into danger as well. Aaron had the right to be angry, and Neil didn’t have the energy to deny it.

“Fuck this,” Aaron said and waved Neil off with an angry, quick gesture, “You don’t even want to try and fight this.” 

Neil’s eyebrows shot up almost all the way to his hairline in surprise. He couldn’t hold back a short, sharp laugh.

“It’s not really a matter of wanting. I’m just being realistic.”

“Realistically, this team is a complete mess and there’s absolutely no chance for us to ever make it to the top because we’re completely dysfunctional. You didn’t care about that, though,” he said and huffed.

“Well,” Neil stammered, “That’s a bit different. Asking Andrew to join everyone on a movie night is a lot easier than fighting a supernatural killer.”

“I don’t think so,” Allison joined the conversation, waving her hand about casually, “If you ask me, us killing an overpowered demon sounds more likely than Andrew sitting through 1 ½ hours of Legally Blonde with us without stabbing someone.”

“She has a point,” Andrew agreed deadpan. They were insane. Absolutely and completely insane and delusional.

And Neil loved it.

Their misplaced confidence re-ignited a spark inside him and it took over like a wildfire in his chest. He still didn’t have much hope they would succeed, but the fact that they fought so hard for him made Neil feel full and happy in this dark time.

“Well, that’s all cute and shit, but does anyone of you, except Kevin and Renee, actually know how to fucking fight a demon? Or did you just plan on hitting him with a stick until he suffocates from laughing so hard?” Everyone turned to look at Coach Wymack standing in the doorway, arms crossed in front of his chest, clearly just coming from his bed by the state of his clothes, and looking at them unimpressed. Abby stood behind him, a small smile playing around her mouth. 

Of course none of them knew anything about fighting the supernatural, so they stayed very quiet. Coach huffed and rolled his eyes.

“Thought so,” he grumbled and stepped further into the room, making space for Abby to stand next to him, “If y’all are really serious, we’re gonna have some changes in our practice schedule. Mornings are gonna be alternating between Exy and gym, afternoon practice is gonna be Demon Fighting 101.”

“It’s important that you know the basics about demon folklore and exorcism too, so you’ll have to study a lot,” Abby added softly, “To fight a demon you have to be able to recognise their kind. Not every exorcism works on every demon. Look at it like allergies - they’re all highly allergic to exorcisms, so they are the most powerful weapons in a supernatural fight, but not everyone is allergic to the same.”

They exchanged quick looks but it didn’t take long for them to respond. One after the other nodded, agreeing to the change of practice from just Exy to Exy and fighting the supernatural, even though they knew it was dangerous. They willingly brought themselves into danger to help Neil. Neil felt like he might cry. 

“Good. Kevin, Renee, Neil - I want you in my office tomorrow morning while the others are at the gym. We’re going to figure out what they need to learn first and a practice schedule. And now I want everyone in their beds so you’re at least somewhat rested tomorrow.”

They scurried off to their rooms and beds when Coach Wymack threatened to personally kick them out because they didn’t move immediately - except for Neil, Andrew and Kevin. They were left in the living room, silence stretching over them.

“Coach,” Neil started.

“Don’t,” Coach interrupted him, “You’re not  _ on  _ the team, but you’re part of it. They’re gonna fight for you, whether you like it or not.”

“It’s dangerous,” Neil tried instead.

“Yeah. They know that. But they didn’t care about it when Kevin turned up at our door, and they don’t care about it now. They should know these things either way, they live in a world full of bad people - both human and demon. They know how to defend themselves against bad humans, they had to learn before they even became Foxes, now it’s time they learned the same for demons.” Coach Wymack waited for more objections, but Neil had nothing left. He was too overwhelmed by the amount of support, and at the same time he knew Coach was right.

“Is that it? Good. Kevin, Andrew, fuck off to bed, I said I want you rested tomorrow.”

Neil said his goodbyes to Kevin and Andrew, but Andrew refused to let Neil go. Neil appreciated the sentiment, no matter how fruitless it was, and he knew how protective Andrew was about the people he cared about, so he went home with Neil and Abby instead. Coach joined them too, to Neil's surprise. But it made sense when, after Andrew fell asleep with his arm draped over Neil's stomach, his face half-burried in the pillow and his fingers curled into Neil's shirt in a sleep-slack fist, Neil still saw lights coming into his room through the small space underneath the door. He got up, tired and in dire need of some rest, but too terrified to sleep, and went downstairs, where he found Abby and Coach with their noses buried in books, exchanging hushed words. When they spotted Neil, Coach just gave him an acknowledging nod and didn't ask why he was still up. Instead he offered him one of the empty seats with a motion of his hand. 

All three of them spent the entire night crouched over Abby’s dining table with too much coffee, going through the insane amount of books on demonic folklore, medieval medicine and demon hunting Abby retrieved from her basement. Some of them looked like they might be falling apart any time and Neil couldn’t even read half of them, but neither Coach nor Abby seemed to have any problems doing so. It made Neil wonder how much time they spent on studying long-dead languages in the past and how much knowledge about the supernatural they possessed. 

  
Practices changed after that. In the mornings the Foxes would still be either at the gym or on court in their Exy gear, but in the afternoons they learned about the different kinds of demons that existed, about exorcisms and about fighting techniques. During lunches they usually had their noses buried in their notes or old books. Allison and Andrew were insanely good at remembering exorcisms Kevin taught them. Aaron showed the most interest in medieval medicine and Nicky had Renee and Abby show him how to bless all kinds of things, including water to make holy water that’d repel demons. Matt and Dan were quick to pick up fighting techniques and recognise hallucinations, that Neil gave them, as such.

And Neil, well, Neil tried his best to help. He helped Coach teach the team fighting techniques and used his demonic powers to give them hallucinations so they’d learn to recognise and block them out, and he helped Abby teach them about different kinds of demons, their powers and how to recognise them. But he was tired. He hadn’t slept a minute since that night his father attacked him, and producing hallucinations or taking one of the Foxes to the dream world so they could learn to fight their way back to wakefulness was wearing him out in this state. It had been four days without sleep. Neil felt like he was close to passing out. During the day it was easier because he was busy. The nights were tough. He spent them with books and coffee that barely kept him awake anymore. If he just so much as dared to lean his head on Andrew’s shoulder, his eyes immediately fell close and Neil snapped up in a panic. Abby tried to talk him into sleeping, but Neil was too scared, and Abby didn’t try very hard. She knew it was dangerous for him to go into the dream world. His arm didn’t help things either, it was still hurting, and his body could barely bring up the energy to properly heal his injury. He desperately needed some sleep, but he couldn’t. 

He visited Bee almost daily at Abby’s request. When he slumped into the chair in her office today, Bee threw him a worried look before she schooled her expression back into her usual kind smile.

“Hello, Neil,” she said. Neil grunted a response. “You look very tired.”

“Can’t sleep,” Neil mumbled and massaged the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

“Why can’t you sleep?”

“Still the nightmares,” Neil said. Bee hummed quietly and scribbled something onto her notepad. Today her office smelled of something Neil recognised as a faint trace of the cologne Andrew wore. He tried to remember when Andrew’s last appointment with Bee was, but his brain was too tired to come up with an answer. Or maybe it were his clothes that still smelled of Andrew, after he almost fell asleep in his embrace this morning.

“Do you want to tell me about the nightmares?” Bee asked with a soft voice and looked up from her notes. Neil shook his head. “Alright,” Bee said easily. 

They talked about nothing in particular and Bee tried to teach him some relaxation exercises, but Neil refused in fear they’d work and he’d end up falling asleep. She tried to hide her worry, but Neil could see it on her face anyway.

He left her office after his session, feeling even more tired than before, and collected his coat from the coat hanger in the hallway when Bee called after him.

“Oh, Neil, you’re still here, fantastic!”

Neil turned and saw Bee walking towards him with an energetic spring in her step he envied. He barely managed to put one foot in front of the other.

“Here,” she said and extended her hands. In her palms sat one of the glass figurines from her shelf, a weird looking cat, or at least Neil assumed it was a cat, and glimmered at him. Neil looked up at Bee.

“Take it,” she said, “It’s a lucky charm. I don’t know if you’re superstitious, but sometimes having something like this around helps the mind. I’ll borrow it to you until you can sleep better again.”

This was probably the weirdest thing anyone had ever tried to give Neil. He blinked a couple times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating himself now, but Bee was still standing there, holding out the ugly cat figurine, smiling brightly at him. He didn’t know why, but Neil took it from her palms. 

“Thanks,” he said, his voice as confused as he felt, “I’ll, uh, see if it helps.”

“Very good,” Bee said, visibly satisfied, “Have a nice day, and get some sleep.”

Neil took the cat home and put it on the shelf in his room that, at this point, was almost completely filled with books, but he found a small spot where he could place the glass-cat. 

When he sat at his desk that night he glanced at it and felt a weird shudder run down his spine. This thing wasn’t just ugly, it was kind of creepy too. It was almost like it was staring at him.

“ _ God _ , I’m going insane,” Neil groaned and rubbed his eyes. It had gotten to a point where he got spooked by a little cat figurine. This was embarrassing. 

“Neil! Neil!!” Neil jerked up and blinked his dry, tired eyes at the person shaking him, making his world sway.

“What? What is it?” Neil slurred, confused.

“Oh, thank God,” Abby sighed when Neil looked at her and a ton of tension fell off her shoulders, “You’re alive.”

What? Of course he was alive, what was she-

He fell asleep. He didn’t remember when, he just remembered reading his book by his desk but he must have fallen asleep on top of it some time during the night, his body finally giving in to its needs on its own accord. A wave of fear came over him when he realised he didn’t even remember being in the dream world. But he felt fine, save for his injured arm and a stiff neck, so it couldn’t have been the doing of his father. 

It was scary though. This was how humans felt when they woke up after a night without a dream. They just…woke up, skipping hours of memories and not even minding it. Neil minded it a lot. This never happened before. He always remembered when he was in the dream world. He didn’t like this one bit.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” Neil said and shook his head, as if he could just shake the thoughts from his brain, “I must’ve fallen asleep by accident. I don’t know. I don’t remember.” Abby ran a hand through his curls and sighed in relief again.

“No, you needed the sleep, it’s fine. I’m sorry for waking you up, but when I saw you lying on your desk I thought...You know.”

“Yeah. No, it’s fine. It’s better when I’m awake, he can’t get me then.”

“Do you want some breakfast? I made bacon and eggs.”

“Sounds good,” Neil yawned and stretched his tired muscles, “I’ll need a coffee too.”

“Coming right up. I’ll see you in the kitchen in a few.”

“Yeah, see you in the kitchen.”

Abby left and Neil got up from his chair, his back muscles protesting immediately after he had been lying slumped over his desk for hours, but a few stretches helped relax them. God, he needed a shower first. At least a quick one. As he headed to his drawer to grab some fresh clothes Neil passed his bookshelf, and his eyes landed on the cat Bee gave to him. He stopped and frowned at it. Memories of the cat-like creature that saved him from his father popped up in his mind and a cold shudder shook Neil’s whole form. But the memories were different, they weren’t from that night. Images of this cat, curled up, relaxed, eyes glowing red and blinking lazily at him, flashed up in his mind. 

“Ugh,” Neil said, turned his head away and stomped towards his dresser. This damn cat figurine. He should give it back to Bee as soon as possible. It was creeping him out.

Breakfast felt like heaven. Probably because Neil didn’t feel like death himself anymore, even though he just had a few hours of sleep. But just that had been an absolute blessing after no sleep at all for days.    
“How’s the arm doing?” Abby asked and smiled at Neil over her coffee mug.

“It’s fine,” Neil replied.

“We’ll have to change the bandages tonight,” Abby said, “I’ll do it after practice.”

Neil nodded and devoured the rest of his bacon and eggs, then washed it all down with coffee. Today was going to be a good day.

  
  


“Alright, so, Riko and his family are, like, mind readers?” Matt asked as they left the Foxhole Court that night. He was walking next to Neil and contemplating today’s lesson.

“Sort of,” Neil replied, yawning. Now that he went through the entire day he felt the sleepless nights catching up to him again. Maybe he could try to get an hour or two again tonight. “Their powers are mind controlling rather than mind reading. But really powerful demons of their kind, like Kengo, can easily figure things like preferences or fears out and-”

“What the fuck kind of dog is that?” Nicky asked loudly, pointing towards the parking lot, “That’s one fucked up stray. The poor thing.”

Neil frowned at Nicky, then looked to where he was pointing. A stray dog in the middle of the parking lot?

“Nicky…” Kevin said, apparently he spotted the ‘dog’ as well because his face was turning pale, “That’s not a dog.”

Panic surging up inside his chest, Neil spun around himself, searching the area with his eyes. No. No, not here. Not now.

But there was nothing. The Foxhole Court’s doors were still closed. The parking lot was empty save for some cars and the  _ dog _ Nicky spotted. No one on the roof. Neil needed to calm down.  _ He  _ wouldn’t come out here. He hated physical fights, thought they were beneath him. If he could kill Neil ins his dreams he wouldn’t-

“Oh, you made some friends, Junior? How sweet. It’ll bring me great joy to kill them first and have you watch, before I finally kill  _ you _ .”

His father’s chilling voice robbed Neil of his breath and froze his body. He stood still, didn’t dare to turn around. Not here.  _ Not here _ . Not with them around.

Neil turned. He saw his father stepping out of a car that he remembered to be here when they arrived already. He didn’t recognise the car but hadn’t thought anything of it. He thought it might have been the car of someone working at the Court. 

The thought of his father watching them arrive at Court and wait all that time until they left again while Neil was inside, teaching the Foxes, unaware of the danger awaiting him outside, chilled him to the bone. Maybe he even snuck inside and watched them. Neil wanted to throw up.

“Father,” Neil whispered and felt Matt tense next to him, “There’s no need to drag them into this. Just take me.”

“Oh, but that would be boring, wouldn’t it? You had the chance to die by yourself, but you just  _ had  _ to escape that time, didn’t you? Now it’s time I get to play this game the  _ fun way _ .” His lips curled into a wide, manic grin, baring his teeth and fangs. A sudden pulse of demonic energy shook the ground beneath their feet, the trees, the street lamps. It was the unadulterated force of Andras. He was done playing human.

The two hyenas by his side laughed hysterically while Neil's stomach dropped, cold dread spreading through his veins as the horrifying sound of breaking bones filled the air, echoing in his ears. It made horrible memories flash up in Neil's mind, memories he had tried so hard to lock away because they had shattered his childish innocence too early.

It was his father's skull that was cracking, shattering to give way to bony horns growing through his scalp, curling around themselves by the sides of his face. His eyes gleamed an icy blue, his skin turned an unnatural shade of grey, like that of someone who was long dead, their body decaying and turning to ashes. Nathan, however, was far from being dead. He  _ was  _ death.

“Fuck,  _ that’s  _ your father?!” Matt gasped as he looked on, eyes wide with terror.

“Cute, you look just like him,” Allison said through gritted teeth, “He’s got better hair though.”

“If I survive this I’ll let you do whatever you want to my hair, Allison,” Neil promised with a shaky voice, though he didn’t put much hope into getting out of this alive. The demonic energy oozing from his father all the way over the parking lot sent goosebumps down his body. It was pure evil. Neil was positive even the Foxes felt it.

“If  _ you  _ survive this? You mean  _ we _ ,” Allison corrected.

“No,” Neil snapped immediately, voice hitching with shock, “You’re running. There’s no way any of you is ready to fight him. You didn’t even have a full week of training yet.”

“Well, no time to test our new knowledge like the present,” Nicky said with a grin, but Neil could see the fear in his eyes.

“ _ No _ ,” Neil said again, shaking his head. This was absolutely insane. If they stayed, they died. There was no other outcome for this.

“Do you really think he’s gonna let us run, kid?” Coach stood right behind Neil and put a hand on his shoulder. He gave it a firm, encouraging squeeze, but his hard gaze never left Nathan. Then he cracked his knuckles, as if this was a street fight waiting to happen. “He’s gonna regret coming here, I promise you this much.” 

Fear was the only thing Neil felt right now. Fear about his father turning up at the Foxhole Court to kill him. Fear about the Foxes, Coach and Abby being here for it. Fear about them  _ actually wanting to fight one of the most powerful demons alive. _

“No. No, no, no,” Neil said, shaking his head.

“Listen to him, Nathaniel,” Nathan growled, directing Neil’s attention back on him. He still wore the bloodthirsty grin Neil had seen too many times, and his face was a terrifying grimace, eyes too big, mouth too wide to look human. “I’m not going to let anyone run. Those who try die first.”

“It’s  _ Neil _ ,” Andrew said with a blank stare and disinterest in his voice. Even in the face of death and destruction he managed to sound like Nathan was the most boring person on earth. Now Neil knew why Kevin had trusted him to have his back. Not that he thought either of them had acted particularly clever.

Nathan looked at Andrew with astonishment - then he began to laugh. It was a sound Neil had only ever heard after someone died and it filled him with dread.   
“Oh, you’re a feisty one, aren’t you? I think I’m going to kill you first.”

“Try me,” Andrew responded.

“ _ Andrew _ ,” Neil hissed and looked at him wide-eyed and terrified. There was a fine line between brave and stupid, and Andrew just took a fucking  _ leap _ over that line and plunged right into the deep sea of foolishness. There were no words to describe how fucking idiotic it was to challenge Nathan. Nathan, however, seemed absolutely delighted. 

“I love it when humans are overconfident.” He raised his arm and lowered his eyes at Andrew, then added in a low voice: “It makes the look of absolute despair on their faces when I kill them even more enjoyable.”

One swing of Nathan’s arm brought another pulse of demonic energy over them. With him in the center, following the almost-visible wave, the ground cracked, grass died, trees shed their leaves. Everything around them died, withered and broke. The bright orange on the Foxhole Court’s walls faded until it was a lifeless and depressing grey-ish orange. Everything seemed to lose its colour, until the world around them looked like a wasteland. 

“What the fuck,” Aaron gasped.

“Don’t let him fool you,” Neil pressed through gritted teeth. Every single muscle in his body was tense, ready to fight. He wouldn’t let his father hurt his friends. “It’s just a hallucination. Remember how I gave you those during your training? I can only do it for one person at a time, he can give us all a collective one. Don’t trust anything that’s happening, it’s probably not real.”

“ _ Probably _ ,” Dan huffed.

“This definitely isn’t,” Neil assured her and threw her a quick glance before looking back at Nathan. He’d never attack his father first. It’d be stupid. Nathan would be able to tell what Neil was planning a mile ahead. But desperate times called for desperate measures - and Neil was beyond desperate. So despite knowing it would be fruitless, he started to run, as fast as he could, ignoring the calls of his names. If they wanted to be reckless, so would Neil. 

Of course Nathan had no difficulties avoiding Neil’s punch.  He took a step to the side and rammed his elbow into Neil’s back as Neil was digging his heels against the ground to slow down, making him gasp and stumble. He managed to catch his balance though and came to a halt a few steps away from Nathan.

“Look at you running into your death for these humans,” Nathan snarled, “You’re pathetic. You should  _ thank  _ me for killing you.” 

“I’ll thank you when you’ve actually done it,” Neil replied. He wasn’t half as brave as he sounded, but he couldn’t afford to let his fear show. “At least now I have a reason to die.”

“How touching,” Nathan replied with a straight face, then turned to Jackson and Lola, “Take care of the humans.”

Shit. Neil threw a glance at the hyenas and had to watch as they sprinted towards the Foxes the second Nathan ordered them to. He had to stop them. 

“ _ I’m _ your problem, not them.” Neil barely managed to dodge Nathan’s fist. He stumbled backwards, desperately trying to avoid his father’s hits coming at him over and over again. 

“Alright, time to try this shit.” Allison’s voice was loud enough to reach Neil’s ears and in the corner of his eye he saw her digging through her purse. She retrieved a thick book and went through the pages quickly, her manicured fingers skipping through the pages at a pace only someone who knew the book by heart could keep up, until she found the one she had been looking for and started to read from it.

Then Neil heard Lola’s and Jackson’s pained howls. The two shapeshifters stopped dead and shook their heads from side to side as the exorcism Allison recited hurt their heads more and more with each word she said.

“Oh, you taught them a few tricks? Not bad, I have to admit. But it won’t save any of you,” Nathan said with a twisted kind of appreciation. Neil didn’t care what he said. Relief was quick to flood his chest - maybe they would be fine as long as Neil kept his father busy. Jackson and Lola were pretty strong demons, but the Foxes as a group might just be able to stand their ground against the two of them for long enough. Neil grinned at his father with confidence.

“Don’t underestimate them.”

Nathan snorted, unimpressed, and rolled his head from one shoulder to the other, cracking the joints in his neck, “A couple worthless humans won’t stand up to me.”

“ _ I’m _ your problem,” Neil hissed Nathan’s words back at him, “Not them.”

“Show me what you got then, Junior, so far it’s pretty embarrassing,” Nathan laughed and opened his arms in invitation, “I’ll even give you a little advantage.”

Of course he knew it was a trap. Neil wasn’t stupid. But he had to take any chance he got, no matter how small it was. So without hesitation Neil ran towards his father and took a leap. Nathan grinned, clearly amused by Neil’s apparent naivety, and grabbed for him when Neil was in his reach. But Neil expected it. For once he was one step ahead of his father. By twisting his body he managed to dodge the hand coming for him and bury his own fist in Nathan's stomach with as much force as he could muster. The unexpected hit left Nathan wide-eyed and gasping and Neil felt a wave of grim satisfaction wash over him. He kicked up dirt and dust as his feet pushed against the ground and Neil leapt out of Nathan’s reach, but Nathan recovered fast - too fast - from his shock and started for Neil with murder in his eyes. He didn’t expect Neil to land a hit, and it hurt his ego just as much as Neil running away from home did. He was getting angry. 

Their fight was fast and dirty, but Neil managed to fend off most of his father’s blows. It was an unexpected realisation, but finding that he wasn't as helpless against Nathan as he was always made to believe gave Neil enough power and will to keep fighting despite the growing breathlessness. Nathan, on the other hand, grew more furious with each passing minute and his hits became less tactical and more brutal. At this point he didn’t care about technique, he just wanted to  _ hurt  _ Neil. This gave Neil the advantage of being the one of the two who kept his cool, but simultaneously made it harder to block Nathan’s hits without having his bones shattered. Keeping his temper even and his mind calm was his strongest weapon, but he had to utilise it soon. If they kept this up, Neil would lose the battle eventually, solely because he was the physically weaker one. 

On Nathan’s next hit, instead of blocking it, Neil curled his fingers around his wrist in a tight grip. The air was punched from his lungs in an agonized groan, pain exploding in his collarbone and ribs, as Nathan’s unbridled fist crushed into Neil’s body, but Neil hadn’t tried to stop him. Instead he held onto Nathan tight, keeping him close. This was exactly where he wanted him. With his other hand he grabbed one of his horns and Nathan growled loudly - grabbing a demon by their horns was  _ extremely  _ disrespectful - but before he could move, Neil jerked Nathan’s head down so hard he heard his neck pop. Fingers wrapped around the other horn too, giving him the opportunity to use them as leverage to do a backflip over his head. He pulled Nathan’s head with him as he sailed through the air, and Nathan threw profanities at Neil until his feet hit the ground. Then his complaints died and turned into a confused, then pained gasp as Neil planted his feet firmly against the asphalt and pulled his head down until he had Nathan bent over backwards, struggling to stay on his feet. Now Neil had only seconds to act, or he'd be dead.

“You fucking little--” Nathan yelled.

“Go to hell, father,” Neil growled back, turned and buried his foot into his spine hard enough for Nathan to be flung several feet away. 

  
“Fuck,” Neil breathed, barely able to believe what he just did, and stumbled a couple steps back, his wide-eyed gaze focused on his father’s body hitting the ground. He knew he hadn’t won this fight yet. If it would be this easy to defeat Nathan, others would have done it centuries before Neil was even born. But this was more than he ever hoped he could do. If he died here today, he’d die knowing he hurt his father physically and mentally. He’d die, knowing the memory of being tricked and humiliated like this by his worthless half-breed son would haunt Nathan  _ forever _ . 

Neil risked a glance at the Foxes. He needed to know if they were okay. 

They were all still alive, and they were working together better than Neil had ever seen them do before. Jackson and Lola visibly struggled, they barely even made it close enough to attack the Foxes. A deep sense of satisfaction settled in Neil’s chest and he wondered what the Foxes could do if they had a little more time to practice their fighting skills. He’d probably never know, but he hoped they’d do great things.

“You...fucking….little….. _ maggot _ !” Neil’s attention snapped back to his father. His face was a furious grimace, eyes wide and glowing, teeth bared in an angry growl and violent pulses of his demonic energy washing over Neil and sending cold dread through his veins. It almost looked like his eyes were burning and Neil knew it didn’t mean good things for him. But he had known he’d die soon the second he agreed to stay with the Foxes. Death was the least of his worries. Right now his only goal was to buy the Foxes enough time to escape. 

His body protested against that idea, especially his arm after his little stunt, pain shooting from his shoulder through his chest and all the way down to his fingers. Just a little longer. Neil clenched and unclenched his hand a couple times in hopes it would ease the pain at least somewhat. He was pretty sure he was bleeding again too. But Neil had no time to worry about it. 

“Running won’t save you this time,” Nathan spat when Neil took off as soon as Nathan came towards him, “I’ll tear you apart limb by limb while your precious, little friends watch!” 

The metal fence surrounding the Foxhole Court was so close. If he got on top of it, he might be able to land another hit. One foot hooked into the meshed wire and pushed Neil’s body off the ground. Almost. He almost made it.

Fingers curled around his ankle. His heart stopped. Suddenly he lost his footing and was hurled through the air, his body hitting the ground ten feet away. Neil groaned as pain shot through his head, his back and his shoulder. All attempts to get up were in vain. His arm stopped cooperating entirely, his head felt dizzy and the world around him turned too quickly. When Neil managed to turn onto his back, breath heavy and eyes barely able to focus, he saw his father approaching with slow, heavy steps until he stopped with one foot on each side of Neil’s body. He was towering over him, staring down with nothing but death in his eyes. Neil’s heart hammered against his chest, fear spreading in his veins. This was where it would end. There was no getting around it. 

Neil felt a familiar feeling bubble up in his throat, one that he had fought off so many times, robbing him of the little air he had like a rope around his neck pulling tighter with each beat of his racing heart. He couldn’t let it take over. Not when the others were watching. It wouldn’t do him any good anyway.

“Say goodbye to this world,” Nathan growled and raised his arm towards the sky, dusk painting it in different shades or red and orange. Something started to materialise in Nathan’s palm. It gleamed in the warm light of the setting sun, blinding Neil for a moment before he realised what it was. It was a cleaver. Specks of rust stuck to the blade, the handle looked old and used. Neil knew it was the cleaver Nathan liked to use for particularly nasty murders. It was entirely made of demonic matter and was almost something like a living being itself. At least it had its own mind - and it would only work for Nathan’s hands. If anyone else tried to use it, it wouldn’t even cut through jelly. 

Nathan swung the weapon, testing its weight even though it was so familiar to him, then grinned down at Neil. 

“Where should we start?” He snarled, “Maybe with your legs, so you can’t run anymore?”

Neil’s chest was heavy. His body was weak, his mind in panic. He tried to get away, pushed his feet against the ground to drag his body away but Nathan just laughed and fell to his knees, grabbing him by his shirt. He wrapped his fingers around the cleaver’s handle until his knuckles turned white. His eyes snapped down to Neil’s right thigh. 

“ _ Don’t,” _ Neil begged, desperate, scared. Cold sweat ran down his temple, his body shook with unadulterated fear. Not fear of death, necessarily, but fear of losing what he had. Fear of the agony he was going to be in during those last moments of his life. Fear of Andrew and Kevin and all of the others having to watch him being slaughtered. But there was nothing else left he could do to avoid this fate. Defeated, he screwed his eyes shut and waited for the pain to come.

Something hit the ground. Something that made a sound like metal hitting asphalt. Then, a groan, a second before a piercing pain went through Neil’s head. He gasped, his eyes flew open, he forgot the pain in his shoulder and threw his hands up to his head, burying his fingers in his curls. Through the haze of pain he saw his father doubled over on top of him, holding his own head in agony with one hand, bracing himself on the ground with the other. The cleaver lay next to Neil, unused.

Neil had no idea what was happening, his mind was way too blurry to make sense of any of this, until his father slowly sat up, his face still pulled into a pained grimace, and turned his gaze to the side. 

“You…” He growled quietly. Neil fought through the pain and turned his head to look where his father was looking.

Andrew. He was reciting an exorcism meant to ward off a dream wanderer. They hadn’t even gone through these in practice yet because they were extremely complicated, since the ways dream wanderers’ powers worked were deeply entwined with their victim’s psyche, but there were some easier ones, meant to weaken a dream wanderer  _ before _ they attacked someone’s mind. And apparently Andrew went ahead and learned these on his own accord. 

But he greatly overestimated the strength of these exorcisms. They wouldn’t chase away a demon as powerful as Nathan. They’d only make him angrier.

Neil’s panic peaked when Nathan slowly dragged his body off the ground, his cleaver forgotten on the ground, eyes fixed on Andrew. This wasn’t going according to plan. Nathan was supposed to  _ forget  _ about the Foxes long enough for them to flee. Not target them, especially not Andrew.  _ Not Andrew.  _

“Foolish mortal,” Nathan growled, his feet dragging across the asphalt with each heavy step he took, “Do you really think your simple exorcism could hurt me?” Andrew looked up, acknowledging Nathan, but didn’t stop reciting the exorcism. Nathan hissed as another wave of pain made him flinch, yet it wasn’t even remotely enough to stop him in his tracks. “This is going to be the last mistake you’ve made…”

Neil scrambled to his feet, tumbling and falling just to push himself up again. No. No. No. He couldn’t let him hurt Andrew. Neil stumbled over to Nathan and threw himself at his arm, clinging to it and putting his entire weight on it to stop him.

“Let go,” Nathan said with the stern voice of a father chiding his child and shook his arm, flinging Neil’s body to the asphalt like a piece of trash.

“Don’t hurt them,” Neil begged with a desperate voice as he was struggling to get to his feet, “It’s me you want dead, it’s me!”

“Shut your pathetic mouth, Nathaniel, you will get your turn!” Nathan thundered, then raised his arm and pointed his hand right at Andrew.

Neil had no other choice but to watch as a black spot formed behind Andrew, growing bigger and bigger until one of Nathan’s dream creatures crawled out of it like an oversized insect with too many limbs. It looked somewhat like the ones Neil dealt with: shapeless, terrifying. It emitted a scream that froze the blood in Neil’s veins.

“ _ ANDREW! _ ”


	5. The Monster In Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andrew gets hurt during the fight with Nathan, and the emotional trauma unleashes things inside Neil he never wanted the world to see. But despite it all he has to focus on one task: killing his father and saving the Foxes.  
Will he do it?

The creature leaped right at Andrew, toppling him over, bringing them both to the ground. The pain in Neil’s head immediately stopped when Andrew’s exorcism was interrupted, but so did his heart.

It buried its teeth in Andrew’s shoulder, too close to his neck, and Andrew cried out in pain. Neil scrambled up again, forgetting any pain or dizziness and just  _ ran _ . Not Andrew. He needed to stop the creature before it killed him. His heart was racing, a cold dread in his chest that had his legs shaking as they carried him as fast as possible. He didn’t want them to get hurt, but it was still entirely his fault. He shouldn’t have stayed. He should’ve ran away and let his father kill him where he wouldn’t hurt anyone else. In the corner of his eye, through the haze of fear and guilt, Neil noticed Renee hitching up her skirt and drawing a hidden knife. She said a quick prayer Neil never heard before as she took long strides towards Andrew and the creature and swung the dagger, burying the blade in the side of the creature’s neck. It howled in pain, letting go of Andrew just in time for Neil to arrive. Without thinking he threw himself on top of it, curling his arms around its neck and planted his feet against the ground. With every little ounce of energy left in his body Neil pulled the creature off Andrew and dropped to his back, still clinging to it. His back hit the ground with a dull thud, a pained groan was pressed from his lungs and he was trapped between the asphalt and the creature’s heavy body, but he held onto it like his life depended on it. And - it did, didn’t it? Andrew had been one of the few reasons for Neil to survive these past four years. If he died, especially due to Neil’s selfishness, he would never be able to forgive himself.

It struggled and growled, but dream creatures were significantly weaker in the physical world, not able to survive long in this realm, so it resorted to attacking Neil instead. It didn’t care which one of them it killed, it just wanted to taste blood and death. 

The most terrifying part about these creatures was their physique. No one could quite describe their shape, they were a deep shade of black, blacker than anything you’ve ever seen, and they didn’t adhere to the biological limits or physical laws of the physical world. So it wasn’t a surprise but still absolutely horrifying to watch when the creature turned its head by 180 degrees. It unhinged its jaw, baring its sharp fangs at Neil, dripping black saliva onto his face. Then it screamed a shrill screech so loud and ear-shattering, Neil thought he might go deaf from it.

“Don’t move!” Renee’s voice, muffled through the ringing in his ears, was the only warning Neil got before he found himself faced with the tip of her dagger, just an inch from his eyes. Dark matter ran down the silver blade, dripping onto Neil’s face, mixing with the monster’s saliva, and then the creature went still. Past its head he saw Renee sitting on its body, hair hanging into her face wildly, breath going fast and heavy, her blade stuck in the creature’s skull so deep it came out through the back of its throat again.

Without blinking an eye, once she was sure it was dead, Renee got off the creature, yanked her dagger from its flesh and dragged its body off Neil with a strained groan. It was a little terrifying, he had to admit, to see Renee, who he learned to see as this soft, gentle person, acting like the exorcist he knew she was. They exchanged a quick look before Andrew’s quiet groan caught both of their attention again.

“Andrew,” Neil gasped, not bothering to get up and just crawling over to him instead, “Andrew, answer me!”

Blood was oozing from his shoulder, too much, it was everywhere, and Neil grabbed his hair, burying his fingers in it gently, carefully, to turn his head and see how bad it was. 

“Andrew, can you hear me?!” Neil’s voice grew more desperate when all he got was a pained moan from Andrew. He was pressing a hand to his shoulder, preventing Neil from taking in the extent of his injury and Neil took it into his own to move it. 

It looked bad. The creature hadn’t done as much damage as it did on Neil’s shoulder, but it bit Andrew far higher up, almost into his neck, and there was  _ so  _ much blood. Neil was worried it hit an artery. 

Neil’s world stopped and turned too fast at the same time. Everything turned quiet around him - the shouts of the others, Abby and Renee’s worried voices, his head blocked them all out. All he heard was Andrew’s laboured breath, his voice, gasping and groaning in agony. All he saw was the pain in Andrew’s face and the red of his blood. Everywhere. Soaking into his shirt, sticking to his skin, Neil’s own hands covered in it. He raised one of his shaking hands and stared at the blood sticking to his palm. Andrew’s blood. His ears began to ring. His vision began to blur.

“Andrew,” he whispered, voice shaking.

“Andrew,” the rope around Neil’s throat was back, pulling tighter and tighter, choking him.

“An-....Andrew.” Neil wrapped his fingers around Andrew’s shoulders. They were red. Bloody. Bloody.  _ Bloody.  _ Neil stopped thinking. All he saw was the red of Andrew’s blood, life slowly draining from his body. 

_ It _ won.

A pulse went through Neil’s body, one he hadn’t felt in years. 

_ Ba-dumm. _

His heart was racing too fast, hammering against his ribs as if it was trying to escape his chest. He heard his own heartbeat echo in his ears.

_ Ba-dumm. _

Another pulse. He dug his fingers into Andew’s shoulders so hard his knuckles turned white. He barely noticed the people around him shifting on their feet, taking hurried steps back, away from him. All he could focus on was the rush of energy going through his body, the pain in his arm vanishing into nothing.

_ Ba-dumm. Ba-dumm. _

“Neil!" Renee’s voice was muffled, as if she was speaking from another room, yet she sounded like she was shouting. Neil didn’t pay her attention. He stared at Andrew, breathing hard.

_ Ba-dumm. Ba-dumm. _

He’d kill his father for doing this.

_ Ba-dumm. Ba-dumm. _

He’d  _ fucking _ kill him.

_ Ba-dumm. _

  
  


Suddenly his heart stopped. Neil gasped. A fire exploded inside his chest, burning him up entirely, eating up every little bit of humanity inside him and leaving nothing but his instincts. The fire spread from his chest through his limbs and his head, and when his heart finally started to beat again, the first thump broke the fire free. 

_ Ba-dumm. _

A pulse of demonic energy exploded with Neil at its center. Every inch of grass growing from the cracks in the asphalt, the trees surrounding the parking lot, even the posters put up on the walls of the Foxhole Court caught on fire, blue flames eating it all up.

Neil’s body arched under the stress of the energy building up inside him. It was pain, but at the same time Neil felt as powerful as never before. He almost toppled over when another wave washed over him and barely managed to catch himself with his hands against the ground, still kneeling over Andrew. Panting, groaning, watching as blue flames licked around his fingers.

“Agh-” Neil dropped his head and arched his back as a sudden pain shot through his head. He felt like his skull was about to crack. But when he raised one shaky hand to bury it in his curls, instead of a cracked skull, he felt horns where none were before.

A loud, vicious laugh caught Neil’s attention. Still trying to focus his eyes darted around, looking for the source, and eventually settled on Nathan. He was laughing, laughing, laughing, looking at the blue flames surrounding him with glee in his eyes, looking at Neil.

“Look at you, Junior!” He seemed  _ delighted _ , his voice was pleased and his grin wide and ecstatic, “Look at you! Finally you gave in to the demon inside you! And all it took was killing one little human you care about. If I had known that earlier I would’ve done this years ago! I’m sure the King would have happily provided Riko’s little toy for that.”

Neil barely heard the terrified gasp from Kevin as a new rush of anger made his ears ring. He felt himself growl, like an animal, teeth bared and eyes wide, and slowly picked himself off the ground. He felt so much and nothing at the same time. But the thing he felt most was the desire to kill. He wanted to rip Nathan to shreds, wanted to hear him scream. And he felt like he could really do it.

“Don’t... _ touch them _ ,” he hissed. His limbs felt heavy. His arms hung at his sides, his feet dragged along the floor as he made step after step towards Nathan. “I’ll fucking kill you if you dare to touch them.”

Nathan laughed again.

“Kill me? I doubt it. But now that you finally let go of this useless human part of yourself, I’ll make you a generous offer: I’ll let you come back home. I’ll even ask the King to give you a second chance.”

Now it was Neil’s turn to laugh, but it sounded unnatural and foreign even to his own ears. He’d rather die than even think about going back to his father, let alone work for the King. Neil raised his hands a few inches and looked at them, watched the flames dance around his fingers and palms, up his wrist and arms. It was almost hypnotising and he felt some primal part of his mind approve of them. But there was a small part in the back of his head, a weak, quiet voice, telling him they were no good. Telling him they were what made him a monster. Neil chose to ignore that voice and looked back up. If he was a monster he might as well act like one.

“Fuck you,” he spat, then started into a sprint. He felt the demonic energy running through his veins, felt it giving him the power to run faster than he ever did before. When he hit Nathan, there was enough power behind it for him to skitter a few inches back, even though he anticipated Neil’s punch and firmly planted his feet against the ground. The grin on his face was gone when Neil looked into his eyes.

“Very well then,” Nathan hummed, “So you choose death.”

“Yes. I choose  _ your _ death,” Neil hissed back and curled his fingers into his father’s shirt.

“Let’s see about that.”

Nathan grabbed Neil’s wrist and twisted it hard enough for Neil to think he might break it if he didn’t give in, so he turned his body with his arm. This, however, gave Nathan the chance to attack. He rammed his elbow into Neil’s neck, making him groan and stumble, then kicked him to the ground. Neil scrambled back up, barely feeling the pain and dodged another hit. 

The more he fought Nathan, the more he was led by instinct, giving in to the animalistic desire to kill. Eventually Neil was completely consumed by the anger in his chest, his hits and kicks uncoordinated yet powerful. He drew blood when he hit his father’s nose, but Nathan still kept the upper hand in their fight, which, in return, drove Neil further and further into uncontrollable rage. He felt like his chest would explode if he didn’t hurt his father.

“That’s enough now,” Nathan growled eventually, “I’ve had enough of your childish behaviour.”

A hand around Neil’s throat, tight and violent, left him gasping, barely able to breathe as he was lifted off the ground by his neck. Feet dangling a few inches above the ground Neil scrambled for purchase, wrapped his fingers around Nathan’s wrist, but Nathan just firmed his grip. 

“I will put an end to this now,” he said coldly, “I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour any longer.”

Neil’s head felt dizzy already and through the haze of anger, he heard the small voice in the back of his head again, screaming at him how this was what he deserved for being a monster. He realised that this was the human part of his mind, pushed away by his demonic temper.

Despite his blurring vision Neil spotted something on the ground, something bubbling up just behind Nathan, as if the ground was melting and the asphalt boiling. The spot grew and grew until  _ something  _ came crawling out. 

Dream creatures. Nathan would kill him the same way he tried last time.

Wait.

No.

This wasn’t a dream creature.

Instead the cat from his dreams emerged from the ground, clawing its way out of the liquid asphalt, hissing loudly. Nathan turned his head.

“What are you doing? This won’t help you,” he grunted. It wasn’t him though, but Neil didn’t have the breath to tell him that.

Another hiss from behind him. And another from his right. More and more of the cat-like creatures came crawling out of black, tar-like pits in the ground, their bodies dripping the same black substance on the ground. Neil could only see a couple of them, but he figured it must be at least a dozen. Their bright red eyes were focused on Nathan and Neil as they hissed and growled, circling them with slow, smooth steps. Then, suddenly, Neil heard faint music. It was like bugles playing in the distance, announcing the arrival of an army.

Realisation hit Neil like a brick.

There was only one person he knew who was announced by cats and the sound of bugles. He always thought it was a fairytale. But before he could doubt himself he saw his father’s face change, from angry to surprised to shocked, back to angry. And suddenly light steps echoed through the air, announcing the arrival of someone new. Neil’s breath started to race, and it wasn’t entirely due to the hand wrapped around his throat. The primal fear rising inside his chest had his heart pounding so hard, Neil thought it might jump out of his throat any second.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” He heard Nicky shout.

“Why are you even here?!” Aaron yelled.

“Shut up,” Coach Wymack’s voice was quieter than the other two, but firm.

The steps died just when they were loud enough to tell Neil the person they belonged to was right behind him.

“Beleth,” Nathan breathed, his eyes fixed on the person behind Neil, confirming his worst fear.

“Andras.” To Neil’s surprise it was a woman’s voice. He always thought Beleth to be male. But what had him wondering even more was that he felt like he heard this voice before. If only he could see who was behind him.

Suddenly everything turned dark and Neil yelped, until, after a second, he realised it were gentle hands covering his eyes who stole his vision, doing no harm, just blocking out what was happening around him.

“What are you doing here?” Nathan pressed out between angrily gritted teeth.

“Give the boy to me,” Beleth demanded, her voice quiet and even. Neil felt a sudden rush of calm come over him. The human voice inside his head became louder again.

“This is not your business, Beleth. Stay out of it,” Nathan growled. Beleth wrapped her hands around Neil’s head a little firmer, erasing every last bit of light from Neil’s vision, and Neil let his head fall into the touch ever so slightly. It was weird. Beleth was supposed to be a horrible, angry demon, but she seemed to be the exact opposite.

“Oh, but it is,” she said and Neil heard the smile in her calm voice, “Now, give him to me. Don’t make me make you, Andras.”

“He’s my son. He’s not yours to have. I’ll drag his soul to the forbidden place and you won’t stop--” Suddenly Nathan’s voice died and, well,  _ nothing  _ happened. With his vision gone his other senses were sharpened but Neil could make out barely anything but Nathan and Beleth’s breathing, her soft, warm skin on his face and Nathan’s calloused fingers pressing into his throat and cutting off part of his air supply. Saying he was tense was a complete understatement. It was just mere seconds, but these seconds of idleness riled Neil’s nerves up like nothing else. That was, until Neil heard Nathan push out a sudden gasp, then a pained groan, and suddenly the hand around his throat was gone. Neil barely managed to catch himself on his feet, but before his knees had the chance to give out under him his head was pulled back into his neck and he stumbled right into Beleth’s body. She pressed his head against her chest and kept him there, and Neil stayed as still as he possibly could, like prey caught in a predator’s claws. He never met Beleth, but the stories he heard about her were horrific and bloody, stories about her untamable fury, told by his father and his friends with morbid appreciation, about rampages and her slaughtering entire villages. He’d rather not awaken her anger.

“It’s okay, Neil,” Beleth whispered, “It’s okay. Calm down. You’ll be okay. And Andrew will be okay too. Abby is taking care of him right now.” Neil felt the fire inside his chest die down slowly with each word she whispered to him. The familiarity with which she said those words, those names, was strange. But Neil’s mind was too busy fighting a war against itself, human conscience versus demonic instinct fighting for dominance inside his head.

“Shh,” Beleth breathed soothingly and his mind started to calm down on her command. A gasp was all that Neil managed when suddenly the same sharp pain as before went through his skull, almost unbearable. Neil threw his hands up to his head, dug his fingers into his curls and pressed his palms against his scalp with an agonised whimper.

"I know it hurts, but it's over soon. They're almost gone," Beleth hummed, and Neil realised that the pain was coming from his horns, as they were growing smaller again. His human conscience won. 

His entire body slumped against Beleth’s as exhaustion and pain washed over him like a wave, drowning him, making him gasp. She stood strong, holding him up with ease.

“There, there. That’s it,” she ran a gente thumb across his forehead over and over again, rubbing soothing circles between his brows. Neil took a few deep, shaky breaths. When she was sure Neil was fine, Beleth lowered her hands from his face, wrapping her arms around his waist instead. Neil hesitated for a second, unsure whether he wanted to know or not, but eventually let his head fall back into his neck to look up at Beleth. To see what she looked like.

“Now, next time you should keep them on you when someone gifts you a lucky charm, Neil, that’s what they are for,” Bee said, smiling down on Neil.

Neil blanked out entirely. Bee. Bee was Beleth. 

“Poor Spot couldn’t even help you until I summoned him here,” she said in a somewhat chiding, yet gentle voice.

“S-..Spot?” Neil asked stupidly. There were  _ so  _ many questions in his head right now, he couldn’t decide what to ask first so he just blurted out the first thing on his mind.

“Yes! Spot! The cat I gave to you. Do try to keep up, Neil,” she smiled brightly at him before turning her eyes away. As Neil followed her gaze he saw one of the cat-like creatures slowly approaching them. Once it closed the distance between them it pushed up against Neil’s chest, arching its back up, all but burying Neil’s face in fur and making him choke on it. A sound vibrated through its body that sounded like a mix of a terrible growl and...a purr.

“I asked him to keep an eye on you so you could get some sleep. He helped you before, don’t you remember? He’s a very loyal one, my dear Spot, and he seems to have taken a liking to you.”

“Oh,” Neil just managed. Everything about this was so bizarre, Neil considered whether he was dreaming but then decided he’d know if he was. He was a dream wanderer after all. But then again it made so much sense, it physically hurt Neil he didn’t realise earlier. Right from the start there had always been something about Bee that didn’t sit right with him. He blamed his general unease with psychologists and talking about his fears, but this entire time his instincts tried to tell him she wasn’t human. Then there were the cat figurines, the cat fur on her clothes, the unusual smells in her office and the way her sole presence influenced his mood. It made too much sense. Except...

“You’re Beleth,” he said, as if Bee didn’t know that. Bee smiled an apologetical smile.

“Indeed,” she said, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I figured you’d be quite scared considering your current situation. I assumed it would be better if you thought I was human.”

“But… Beleth is supposed to be filled with untamable rage.”

“I used to be,” Bee said and gently ran her hand through Neil’s curls, making him shiver under the touch. Neil wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad shiver. She looked thoughtful now, as she considered his statement, almost absentminded. “The stories you’ve heard about me are probably true. But I learned better ways centuries ago and decided to turn my back on the King to help others who needed to learn how to ‘fight their demons’, as humans put it. When Abby and David asked me to act as the team’s psychologist it was the perfect opportunity for me to do so.”

“So they know who you are.”

“Indeed, they do.”

There was a short pause where Neil tried to sort his thoughts, but before he could even hope to be done Bee carefully pushed him away, a sudden coldness washing over his body as he was ripped from her physical and mental warmth, towards where the Foxes were gathered, watching them.

“Now, go join the others. I will take care of this from here on.” When Neil didn’t move immediately she shooed him away with her hands, “Go, go. We’ll have time to talk later, maybe over some hot chocolate. You should really try it, I promise it’s good.”

Before he moved, Neil let his gaze wander to Nathan and found him unmoved, an empty stare on his face, arms hanging limply by his sides. Jackson and Lola had returned to his side and circled around Nathan’s legs, whining and yapping at him to try and get him to respond - but he didn’t even twitch. Neil had known Beleth was a mind controlling demon like the Moriyamas, but seeing her powers in action was nothing short of terrifying.

“He’s on pause for a bit,” Bee said in a little sing-song voice when she noticed Neil’s stare, “I warned him, but he didn’t listen, so I had to break his mind a little. Now go, Neil.”

_ Break his mind a little _ she said, as if that was a normal thing to do. But Neil wouldn't argue with her. 

Or, actually, maybe he would. The second Neil turned to the Foxes all courage left him. Looking at them he felt doubts growing in his chest, wondering if it would really be okay to go back after all the danger he brought upon them. After the state they saw him in, the monster he turned into.

“Are you fucking stupid? Come over!” Allison yelled when Neil didn’t move.

“Please, it’s safer here, Neil,” Renee added, waving her hand for him to join them. 

Neil felt a wave of relief wash over him that was so strong, it brought tears to his eyes that blurred his vision. They weren’t afraid of him. They didn’t hate him. Even Renee, despite their initial mutual scepticism, looked worried for his sake.

Neil’s legs carried him over on their own accord, faster and faster until he was running. He heard the voice of his father in his back, gasping, coming back from his stupor and then growling at Bee with unadulterated anger. It made Neil run even faster than before, further and further from his past and towards his future, his friends, his family.

Renee opened her arms for him and he fell into them, his knees suddenly weak and his tired body melting into the touch when she pressed her hands into his back and hugged him close. It felt like being saved. It felt like coming home.

“It’s okay,” Renee hummed, rubbing soothing circles into Neil's back, “It’s not your fight anymore. You’ve done enough.”

“Did- Did you know-”

“That Bee was one of hell’s royalties? No. No one knew,” she said, “Except Coach and Abby, apparently.” Neil was too exhausted to explain again that hell wasn’t what she imagined it to be, so he just left it at this. It wasn’t important anyway.

His knees gave up entirely, now that he was in safety, and they both sank to the ground, Renee trying to hold up his weight as much as she could, setting him down on the ground slowly.

“Sit down,” she said, “It must’ve cost your body an awful lot of energy when it released all of your demonic power. Rest now.” Neil nodded. She was right. The physical and emotional stress he had been put under triggered something like a short circuit in his brain, putting his body into emergency mode. Now he was used up, exhausted, hurting everywhere.

With Renee's hands on his shoulders, squeezing them gently, thumbs running along his neck soothingly, Neil directed his gaze to Nathan and Bee. His father was livid, shouting at her, snarling and growling like an animal. The ground around him was cracking open, the air seemed to blur. It wasn't real though. It was Nathan's anger, so strong it changed reality around him, an aura of uncontrolled fury forming a hallucination.

However, Bee seemed pointedly unimpressed with all of it.

“How  _ dare _ you, Beleth,” he growled at her, “Not only did you turn your back on the King, now you get involved in his business.”

“It’s not  _ his  _ business, it’s  _ yours _ , Andras,” she smiled at him. A second later her smile changed, from calm and relaxed to something else, to something Neil could only describe as murderous. It didn’t suit her at all. “And now it is mine. I will not allow you to treat these children like this. They're under my protection. Including Neil." 

And then something happened that Neil never expected to see in his lifetime. Nathan, instead of threatening Bee after her clear provocation, took a small step back. He was wavering. Bee, who saw the hesitation on his face, seemed satisfied.

“Idiot.” Neil froze. The voice coming from right next to him set his entire body into tension with just one word and Neil didn't dare to turn his head. Even Renee's encouraging squeeze to his shoulders didn't help. “You really went ballistic because of a little bite, huh?”

Just the fact that Andrew still spoke to him was enough of a surprise in itself. Neil didn’t think he’d be  _ able _ to speak, considering the state he was in, and now he sounded so nonchalant, calling it a ‘little bite’ as if a dog pinched his leg instead of a demon almost biting through his neck. Slowly Neil made himself look at Andrew. He found him sitting cross-legged on the ground two feet next to him with Kevin kneeling in his back, not quite touching but hands raised just in case Andrew needed support. His shoulder and neck were bandaged up, little specks of blood soaking through the white. His eyes were on Neil, bored and casual.

“I-” Neil stuttered. What was he supposed to say? ‘I’m sorry’? That wouldn’t even begin to cover it. What he felt was beyond sorrow. There wasn’t a word for what he felt.

“Don’t,” Andrew said, “Don’t even  _ think  _ about saying ‘I’m sorry’.”

Neil lowered his eyes to the ground. Even if the others didn’t hate him, he had no right to stay after this. Not after what he put Andrew through. This realisation hurt, but it was what he deserved.

“Stop it,” Andrew grunted, “Whatever you’re thinking. Stop it.”

“I’m s-” He stopped himself and pressed his lips into a thin line. He really was an idiot. At least Andrew lived. This thought would get him through the future, however uncertain it would be. Knowing that Andrew was alive and well, and even though he’d spend his time hating Neil, at least he was still alive and kicking.

“You’re still doing it,” fingers dug into his curls, grabbed a handful and pulled his head up. A dull pain went through Neil’s scalp but he didn’t fight it. Instead he looked at Andrew and saw him frowning. “I said stop it. Whatever it is you’re thinking, I just  _ know _ it’s bullshit. I can see it on your face.” Andrew stared him down and Neil had to avert his eyes. He just couldn’t bear looking at him. Not when he knew it was all his fault. His eyes fell on Andrew’s bandages again and Neil swallowed around a big lump in his throat.

“It’s my fault,” he said, voice quiet and unstable, “I shouldn’t have stayed. I should’ve known you’re all in danger if you’re around me. It was naive to think my father would limit his search to the dream world.” Andrew stayed quiet, but Neil felt his fingers tighten on his curls.

“When this is over I’ll-”

“Do  _ not _ -” Andrew cut him off, sounding almost angry, making Neil flinch “-finish that sentence.”

“But-”

“No.”

“Andrew--”

“I don’t want to hear it, Neil.”

Frustration crept up in Neil’s throat and gave him enough courage to look back up at Andrew with a little frown throwing creases between his brows. If only he’d let him finish his damn sentence he’d know that Neil would deal with the consequences of his actions! There was nothing else he could tell him, an apology would never be enough and nothing he could say would change what happened.

“Let’s get this over with. I’m not very keen on fighting these days,” Bee's unimpressed voice and the angry hisses of her demonic cats pulled Neil's attention back in. He was, admittedly, a little thankful for the distraction. The conversation with Andrew felt like the hardest thing he ever had to do. He didn't want to lose him, but that was the only possible outcome for this, and just the thought had Neil's stomach clench until he felt so sick he thought he might throw up.

“Fine,” Nathan growled. The hesitation was gone from his face, replaced by new fury. He jerked his hand up above his head in a short, angry gesture and suddenly the light was eaten up by darkness in five constantly growing spots around him. Portals to the dream world opened, forcefully breaking through the walls of realities, opening a path between two universes that weren’t supposed to be connected like this. Black matter, tar-thick and gooey, dripped from them, onto the ground, new dream creatures forming from the puddles and crawling out, claws digging into the asphalt as they dragged their bodies across the ground, screaming, baring their sharp teeth. It was a nightmare coming to life in the physical world. Fear was a primal instinct upon seeing those beings. Everyone flinched, put off by their horrible appearance. Everyone except Bee, who looked on calmly while her cat-creatures grew visibly agitated, hissing at the dream creatures, arching their backs to make themselves look even bigger than they already were.

This was clearly a fight on an entirely new level, and Neil was pretty sure it would end with at least one dead body.

A moment passed and in the matter of a second a demonic aura Neil never felt before went through his flesh and bones, crawling into his chest and making his heart feel heavy with terror. It was horrific. He felt Andrew shudder next to him, the fingers still tangled in his curls tightening their grip as it filled the air, thickening it until it was hard to breathe without being suffocated by the murderous energy. It took Neil too long to realise it was coming from Bee. She was shedding the human disguise entirely, stopped hiding her power, and suddenly it was painfully clear that those stories he heard about Beleth really were the truth. Her aura was even more terrifying than Nathan’s and suddenly Neil understood his father’s hesitation, because despite his self-assurance he wasn't a fool. He knew he had to be careful when Bee was his opponent.

Her body went through almost the same changes as Nathan's did. All innocence and softness that one would associate with Bee was lost when horns grew from her skull with nothing but a small, pained grunt from her lips. Her skin turned a pale, ashy white like old, dusty porcelaine, her eyes flared up with the same blood-red colour as her cats'. With a little groan she rolled her head and her shoulders, like someone waking up from a long nap with a stiff neck.

“It’s been a while,” she said to no one in particular and touched one of her horns with careful fingers, “I  _ just _ got used to living a human life and now you make me do this, Andras.”

“You’re just as despicable as all these other traitors who decided to live among humans instead of serving our King. Humans should fear us, should kneel before us, but instead you’re treating them as if they were our equals when they’re nothing but vermin,” Nathan said with disgust in his voice.

“The true vermin are those who think better of themselves based on their physical strength. But your strength is nothing compared to that I’ve seen in humans fighting their own minds. I feel truly sorry for you, because you will never see the potential humans carry in them.” The cats growled, the muscles in their bodies strung tight like a bow. “But I have no hope left for you, Andras.” She waved her hand through the air in an effortless gesture and the entire pack of cats sprung into action, leaping forwards into an attack on Nathan and his subordinates.

Neil was so focused on the starting fight he almost forgot about the people around him, until Andrew’s voice was suddenly back, so unexpected it startled Neil hard enough to make him flinch and immediately dragged his attention back to him - even if Andrew sounded a little shaken by what was happening.

“I make my own decisions,” he said. Neil figured he was trying to block out the fight, trying to overshadow the screams that didn’t sound remotely like those of cats but like those of truly horrific monsters by picking up their conversation again. Neil, for his part, wasn't entirely sure which of those was actually worse, but when Andrew gave his curls a little tug he decided he owed it to him to listen. “I live. There’s nothing to regret for you.”

"But for you," Neil said weakly. Hearing that Andrew regretted what he did, that he regretted speaking this exorcism and saving Neil's life with it, it was justified, but that didn't change anything about how much it hurt. He should've kept his attention on Nathan and Bee.

"Stop putting words in my mouth I didn't say," Andrew grunted back at him immediately, "I don't believe in regret. I did what I did, and I knew what the consequences might be.”

It took a while for Neil to register the meaning of Andrew’s words, doubt clawing at his mind.

“Oh my  _ God _ ,” Dan groaned after a few seconds, ”There's two fucking demons fighting right there and you two are still dancing around each other like this?! Can you just fucking kiss or something? It’s painful to listen to you, Jesus fucking Christ. How did two emotional imbeciles like you ever manage to actually become a couple?”

Neil's heart stopped and he jerked his head around to look at her, Andrew’s fingers slipping from his hair, and felt his cheeks heat up, but Dan just stared back at him with an unimpressed look. Matt, who was standing next to her, grinned apologetically yet amused.

He couldn’t just-

He didn’t even know if-

Andrew’s hand was back, though this time his fingers curled around Neil’s jaw and turned his face back to him. With about a thousand miles per hour Neil’s heart thumped against his ribcage when his eyes landed on Andrew’s face again. His expression didn’t change a bit, but suddenly Neil could see through the facade again. Where doubt had made him see hard eyes and distance, now he could see a relaxed expression and how Andrew’s body was turned towards him, open and inviting. He didn’t hate him. He didn’t want him to leave. He didn’t regret anything.

“I’m sorry,” Neil breathed shakily, despite Andew’s threat. It still wasn’t enough, but he felt like he would explode if he didn’t say it. He closed the distance between them as quick as his body let him and cradled Andrew’s face between his palms, pressed his face up against his, his nose pressing against Andrew’s cheek, “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I was so afraid you were going to die.” The smell of blood and sweat clung to Andrew, sending an uncomfortable shiver down Neil’s spine, but there was a faint trace of his cologne and that smell that was just so  _ Andrew _ . It released a tension from Neil’s shoulders he didn’t realise he was holding.

“I don’t die that easily,” Andrew said and Neil snorted quietly.

“Andrew, you almost had your neck broken by a demon,” he responded with an inappropriate chuckle in his voice, but he just couldn’t help it when Andrew was so unreasonably nonchalant about it.

“That’s nothing new. You sure as fuck almost broke my neck with your thighs at least once--”

“Oh my God, shut  _ up _ ,” Neil sputtered and jerked back with bright red cheeks and wide eyes, the snickers of the other Foxes ringing in his ears. Andrew wore the most shit-eating grin Neil had ever seen on anyone and if he wasn’t injured, Neil would definitely hit him in the shoulder right about now.

“If you  _ ever  _ do anything this dangerous and stupid again I’ll kick your ass,” he threatened in hopes of directing the conversation somewhere else.

“Says the guy who fought his super-demon-dad.”

“That’s different.”

“Is it though?”

“Shut up.”

A kiss did wonders to shut Andrew up. He aborted whatever sentence he was about to say and used his mouth for better things instead. Pressing his lips up against Neil’s for example. It was just a gentle brush of lips, both too exhausted to put more into it, but it still left Neil feeling relieved and beyond happy. Finally the realisation that he didn’t lose everything again really settled inside his chest.

Everyone was alive.

_ Andrew _ was alive. And he still loved him.

He could stay.

“Not to destroy your moment, but I don't think this is the best place for your romantic reunion,” Kevin didn’t sound sorry at all, but Neil couldn’t find it in himself to be annoyed when he looked up and saw Bee swinging a dagger at Nathan. The long blade was made of silver, matted by age and frequent use, and it reminded him of Nathan's cleaver. But - was this even Bee? He couldn't see anything that resembled Bee. Nothing of her usual soft, kind nature was showing. Her face was hard, her eyes determined - no, this wasn't Bee anymore, it was Beleth fighting a war that had been waiting to be fought for centuries. It was bloody, it was violent, it made Neil flinch in sympathy with every hit Bee had to take. But she recovered fast every time.

“This is so fucking surreal,” Nicky mumbled, staring open-mouthed as he watched the two demons throwing violent punches at each other, “This is  _ Bee _ .”

“I told you, there’s thousands of people you think are human, but they’re not,” Neil replied.

Truth be told, though, he was just as shaken as them. He never thought Bee was a demon, let alone a demon as mighty as Beleth. She was one of the few who could be seriously dangerous to his father - and she was proving it with each hit.

With a kick to his chest she sent Nathan flying into a parked car, the metal giving up and crumpling under the impact like paper, the entire vehicle skidding several feet across the asphalt until it crashed into two others. With Nathan folded into the car Bee took a chance and leapt at him, then pinned him down with one hand. With deadly accuracy the dagger rushed right at his face. Nathan couldn’t flee, not while he was in this position, so his only option was to catch her wrist when it came flying down and his arm shook under the effort of it. A furious grimace was now where usually a kind smile lay, Bee's entire body, so much smaller than Nathan's, barely an inch taller than Neil, was tense, every muscle strung taut like a bow, putting every bit of strength into the task of sending Nathan straight to hell. Meanwhile, in the distance, Nathan’s dream creatures, Jackson and Lola were losing the fight to Bee’s cat-like demons.

Despite his efforts, Nathan’s arm slowly sank inch by inch, even when he added a second hand for support. The tip of the blade was merely an inch from his eye when his gaze snapped up to her face. He was out of options, so Nathan decided on the least deadly one and gave her wrist a sharp tug, sending the blade into his shoulder with a violent jerk, all the way down to the handle, Nathan’s shirt soaking up his blood immediately and growing a red spot where the silver was buried in his flesh. But with the immediate danger of death gone Nathan regained some of his composure, kicked her in the stomach and off him. Bee lost her grip on the dagger as she was thrown to the ground. With a sharp grunt she hit the asphalt while Nathan grabbed the dagger’s handle and pulled it from his shoulder like it was nothing but a splinter in his thumb. He didn't seem bothered by the blood oozing from the wound, and with a flick of his wrist sent the dagger skidding across the ground and beneath a car - out of reach. Bee pushed her body up, watching as Nathan bent down. That’s when Neil spotted it - Nathan’s cleaver was lying right by his feet. He switched their roles, stripping Bee of her weapon while picking his own up where he abandoned it after attacking Neil. In just a second he turned everything around, and suddenly the odds were back in his favour. Neil felt a sinking feeling of dread in his chest.

“Those who abandon the King will never prevail, Beleth,” he drawled, circling the cleaver casually. Bee made a dismissive sound. “It was a good fight, I have to admit, but this ends now. I’ve had enough of these childish--”

Nathan's words died in a pained gasp. He stopped dead in his tracks, eyes wide, face pale.

Bee just sat on the ground, watching him with her head tilted ever so slightly and a knowing smirk creeping onto her lips.

"What-" Nathan wheezed. A metallic clank cut through the air when he dropped his cleaver. Shocked eyes landed on his hand. It was shaking, hard, and Nathan seemed to be unable to move his fingers.

“Are you really so naive, Andras?” Bee asked, “Did you think I’d fight you with a simple dagger?”

"What did you do?!" Nathan's voice cracked with undisguised panic - a sound Neil thought might be the best thing he had ever heard. Bee got up, calm and collected, and brushed some dust off her clothes. Then she whistled, calling over about half of her familiars and their paws hitting the asphalt sounded like rolling thunder. Without stopping or waiting for instructions they leapt at an unmoving Nathan, taking him down, dragging his struggling body to the ground with sharp teeth and claws digging into the fabric of his clothes and the flesh underneath. Nathan's screams filled the air and Neil almost thought the cats would rip him to shreds right then and there, but they didn't. They stopped and waited. Bee came to a halt next to Nathan, dragged her eyes along his body from head to toe and eventually pushed the heel of her foot into his chest.

“The blade of this dagger has been blessed by a priest,” she said, “I hope you’re not... _ too attached _ to this arm.”

“A demon fighting with blessed weapons,” Nathan spat furiously, “How far did you sink, Beleth?!”

“You’re  _ such _ a sore loser, Andras,” Bee sighed. Her heel dug deeper into Nathan’s chest, just beneath his sternum, until he groaned in agony. But suddenly, as if she just remembered they were there, she turned her head and looked at the Foxes, considering them for a moment. Then she removed her foot from Nathan’s chest and set it back down against the asphalt. Seemed like the old Beleth took over a bit too much, her violent side showing more than she wanted the Foxes to see.

Still. Beleth really turned her life around. She went from being a murderous, feared demon, a royalty under the King, to being someone who wanted to help, who could manage this endless pit of anger inside her chest and used this ability to teach others how to conquer their fears and struggles as well. Neil felt nothing but admiration for her.

“I’m not going to kill you, Andras,” her usual, kind smile returned to her face reaching all the way to her eyes and her voice. Nathan didn’t appreciate it though and growled at her. “I’ve become better, I’ve done enough killing for three of my lifetimes. But I can’t risk you hurting my children again.” At that she put on a little thoughtful pout and tilted her head to the side.

"Oh!" She perked up suddenly, after a moment of silent consideration, “I know what I’ll do. I’m going to let you live - but you will be trapped in the forbidden place.”

Neil’s breath got stuck in his throat. The forbidden place. It was the closest to what humans would call hell, a place Neil only heard stories about. It was supposed to be an endless darkness filled with banished souls and truly terrible demons, trapped there because they’d bring nothing but destruction and death upon any other realm if let loose. The souls trapped there couldn’t escape on their own, but they could be summoned by others. Because of that, some beings from the forbidden place decided to agree to deals with humans or demons from the physical world and act as their familiars to be able to escape the forbidden place, like the cat-creatures fighting on Bee’s behalf.

Sending Nathan to the forbidden place was infinitely more cruel than killing him. Neil didn’t doubt that Bee knew this. So did Nathan, if his face was anything to go by. Without her smile faltering even the slightest bit, Bee whistled quietly. The cats holding Nathan down growled in acknowledgement, buried their teeth deeper into his flesh and tore on his body so hard, Neil thought they might accidentally kill him before dragging him to the forbidden place after all.

“Take him with you, my dears, and don’t let him escape,” she cooed, patting one of the cats’ head as a few feet behind them the ground tore open with loud grumbles, dust and chunks of asphalt falling into the pitch black pit that gaped underneath. Terrible screams and growls that had Neil shudder in terror were faintly audible from the hole as it grew.

“No!” Nathan shouted, struggling as the cats dragged his body across the ground, but there were too many, their grip on him too tight, “You’re going to regret this, Beleth! The King is going to come for vengeance if you take me!”

“Do you think so, Andras?” Bee smiled. She used the same tone she’d use on someone during a therapy session when questioning their unhealthy ways of thinking. “Or is he just going to find a replacement for you?”

One of the cats stuck the first paw into the pit. Nathan panicked. He struggled and struggled, pulling on his arms and legs, trying to hit the cats, his entire body arching and twisting in his futile attempt to free himself.

“But, you know, if you’re so sure that the King cares for you so much, do not worry. He will be able to save you from the forbidden place after all. Won’t he?”

He could. But both Bee’s relaxed smile and Nathan’s fearful expression said he wouldn’t. And they knew it.

The first cat jumped into the portal, followed by its companions, their teeth still buried in Nathan’s flesh.

The last thing Neil heard of him was a terrified scream.

The last thing Neil saw of him were his wide, fearful eyes, in his last moments in the physical world snapping from Bee to Neil and locking with his before he was dragged into the endless darkness.

With the sounds of moving rocks and the earth shaking beneath their feet the portal closed again, and when the grumbling died down, a heavy silence stretched over the parking lot. The quiet sounds of the remaining cats mewling and growling carried through the air, sitting and lying, relaxed, tending to their injuries, Jackson and Lola’s lifeless bodies ignored and forgotten in their midst.

Bee stared at the spot that had swallowed Nathan for a few seconds longer. So did Neil. He couldn’t believe it was over. He couldn’t believe his father was gone, just like that, no threat to anyone anymore. Rotting away in a place so terrible, even the worst of demons just called it the forbidden place.

“It’s over,” Andrew’s voice was quiet, but when Neil turned his head he saw him sitting so close their thighs were touching, his face a few inches from Neil’s, watching him carefully.

“Yeah,” Neil whispered, “It’s over. He’s gone.”

He’d need some time for this reality to sink in fully, but Neil could already feel immeasurable relief bubbling up deep inside his stomach.

He was safe.

He was free.

***

“You’re an idiot.” Neil looked entirely unimpressed as he dabbed a cloth to Andrew’s bloody temple, “Enlighten me, please, what exactly was the thought process behind this?”

Andrew grunted, and Neil lifted the cloth to check the state of the cut, then wiped some more blood off and reached inside his first aid kid to retrieve a bandaid.

“You know you’ll be benched for the rest of the game for this, right?”

Of course he knew that. But that had been secondary when this asshole backliner decided to start a fight with Kevin right in front of Andrew’s eyes. He should’ve seen Andrew’s fist coming. It wasn’t his fault the backliner decided to turn this into a proper brawl.

“It was fun, though,” Matt cheerfully chimed in from the side, then flinched as Abby pressed an ice pack to his bloody nose with more force than necessary. “Ouch,” he complained, but Abby just raised an eyebrow at him.

Neil sighed and rolled his eyes at them as he took off his rubber gloves.

“Can you believe those two?” He asked exasperatedly, eyes on the black cat sitting on the bench next to Andrew. King Fluffkins - formerly known as Spot and currently the size of a big, fluffy house cat instead of a literal monster from hell - looked up at him and mewled. The fucking thing managed to sound just as judgemental as Neil. 

“You two are gonna be running  _ so  _ many marathons this season,” Coach said from a few feet away. Allison and Renee were with him, getting ready to take on Matt’s and Andrew’s places on court after they’ve both been given a red card for unsportsmanlike conduct. 

“But Coach,” Matt whined, “The backliner started it!”   
“And you made it worse. Shut your piehole, Boyd, or I’ll make you train with Neil for those marathons!”

“That’s not fair, he’s crazy fast!” Matt said. Neil grinned and gave his head a little shake that made his curls dance. When his eyes landed back on Andrew he tilted his head in question and Andrew realised he had been staring. Again. He huffed and turned his gaze away, but he just  _ knew  _ Neil was grinning again.

A hand crept onto his cheek, gently turning his face back to Neil and their eyes locked.

“You’re an idiot,” Neil said with the grin on his face Andrew predicted to be there.

“You’ve said that already,” Andrew replied, unimpressed.

“I just wanted to emphasize it.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me,” Neil challenged. His grin grew, his fingers brushed along Andrew’s cheekbone, sending goosebumps down his arms.

Too stubborn to give Neil what he wanted right away Andrew just stared at him for a few seconds, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep this act up for long. There was no reason to try to fool himself. Especially when Neil wore this carefree, cheeky grin that Andrew saw the first time only after this fateful fight six weeks ago. This grin did things to Andrew he wasn’t willing to admit.

He managed to stay put for a whole 30 seconds before, with an annoyed huff, he gave in and leaned forwards. Neil, the little shithead, tried to tease him by pulling back just before Andrew’s mouth was on his, a little chuckle rumbling through his chest that was too quiet for anyone but Andrew to hear, but Andrew chased after him and caught Neil’s lips with his own. Neil melted into it immediately, leaning into the kiss with a humm. 

They ignored the whistles from their teammates. It hadn’t been long since they dared to tease Andrew and Neil a little bit whenever they openly showed affection in front of them, but Andrew was already used to it at this point. It was just little wolf whistles and coos anyway. It didn’t bother Andrew as much as he thought it would. 

Neil broke their kiss but placed his other palm on his cheek too, cupping Andrew’s face between his hands, smiled at him and pressed a kiss to his forehead that sent a wave of warmth through Andrew’s chest. 

“You’re still an idiot,” Neil mumbled and Andrew could feel his grin against his skin.

“Shut up,” Andrew grunted and pinched Neil’s side, making him squirm and yelp and let go of Andrew’s face to jump a step back, because Neil was terribly ticklish.

He ran a hand over the spot Andrew just pinched, then stuck out his tongue for a second. Andrew flipped him off in return and Neil laughed about it, then left him sitting on the bench to talk to Abby. Andrew leaned forwards, bracing his arms on his knees and immediately King Fluffkins mewled again, then pushed his head against his arm before squeezing under it and onto his lap. Andrew looked down at him with a huff, then directed his gaze back to Neil and watched him. He was wearing a faint smile as him and Abby chatted away, relaxed,  _ happy _ . Maybe it was because he took a hit to the head, maybe he should have Neil check whether he had a concussion, but suddenly it hit Andrew as he was watching Neil, so carefree and chatting about nothing in particular with such ease. A deep feeling of calm and, he barely dared to  _ think  _ the word,  _ happiness  _ settled in his chest as he realised that, perhaps, now their shared dream might become reality in the physical world too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is the end of Lucid! After months on working on this it's over   
I've had so much fun with this bigbang and I wanna thank Fornavn again for the fantastic art and how awesome it was to work together!  
I hope to be able to take part in the next bigbang too! It was an amazing experience ♥  
Thank you to everyone who supported this fic and the art and left kudos and/or a comment ♥

**Author's Note:**

> Credit for the gorgeous art goes to the fantastic [Fornavn](https://fornavn.tumblr.com/)! Go check them out on tumblr!
> 
> Comments make a writer happy ♥


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